How to feel like you're on holiday when you're not?

[qualityjaisket]

I'm really craving a week (or several) in the sun but have no plans for holidays this year. How can I recreate that holiday feeling at home?

Weather is going to be lovely this weekend in most of the UK. Go out to the coast or countryside for walks etc. Might need a few more clothes than abroad but you'll still get some sun and have a drink outside somewhere too.

Pour half a glass of wine and top up with water

Turn the heating up to 25 degrees, put on a bikini, tip the kid's sandpit onto the lounge floor and sunbathe.

Drive from your local airport to somewhere at the arse end of nowhere having a vicious argument with your dh about which turning to take. Make sure it's the middle of the night due to awkward cheapskate flight times.

Put some single beds either side of your bed and get your neighbours to drive up and down in their cars honking their horns, run around shouting and playing loud music all night.

cliffdiver I pour half a glass, top it up with lemonade and call it a tinto de verano.

Go for a walk with small children who want to go home/to the swimming pool/get an ice-cream.
Go to your nearest foreign food shop, laugh at the funny brand names, and buy a random selection of stuff. Make sure to pay with an inappropriately large denomination of bank note because you haven't got any change yet.

pop into your local tanning salon to make sure you have a nice red peeling face for when you go back to work, even better if you can get some bra strap burn lines while you're there.

Pin a notice (which you do not read) on the back of your bedroom door detailing the procedures in the event of a fire.

😂
These are great!

Buy some live cockroaches from a pet shop (live animal food for lizards etc), release them in your home. Run around screaming and trying to squash them with a flip flop.

Haha Shatners that reminds me of so many holidays. Also, turn off your wifi and refuse to answer calls from DM or Mil and also have lots of afternoon shags.

On the theme of funny brand names...

Sit on a camping chair and drink cheap red wine out of tumblers.

After wiping your bum, throw toilet paper in the bin instead of flushing. (Greece)

Shag a waiter

Ask your neighbour to sneak into your garden at 4.30am and drape towels over everything so you have nowhere to sit.

I think this needs to be in classics.

Wear some white socks with sandals.

Get up at 6am in the morning and put a towel on a garden chair to reserve it.

If you have a TV in your bedroom chain it to the wall.
Get one of those mini kettles that takes half a hour to heat up, make up a tray with said kettle, cups and sachets of coffee/ tea and UHT milk and you can only have a tea or coffee if you use your lovely facilities.
Also move your fridge into your bedroom fill it with chocolate, pringles etc but you have to pay a fiver every time you take something out of it.

😂 love shag a waiter!
What's stopping you holidaying? Is it money or time? Do you want suggestions as to how you could get away?

Block out our car windows except for a tiny oval. Strap yourself in for several hours with the heating on full blast. Eat a tiny bag of pretzels. Argue with your children.

At breakfast make extra so you can shove extra fruit and pastries in your handbag to eat later.
Only use tiny jars of jam and narmalade.

Pack a suitcase and take a late night coach to a remote area you've never heard of. During the journey, listen to Boney M on loop, through tinny earphones.

When you get to the remote destination at 2am, stand there looking perplexed and have an argument with your DP about which "apartment" is yours, and get him to have a pretend phone call with the travel rep.

Sit down on the pavement in your flip-flops and declare "I've had enough of this crap!"

Cocolepew - I really hope the op follows proper protocol on that one.

Pastries/hastily made jam sandwiches must be half heartedly wrapped in a bundle of small greasy paper Napkins, to which they will melt and stick and loosen crumbs into the bottom of the bag. They must be served hot, and squashed beyond all perception of their original form.

Fruit choice must be a bruised yellow soft apple which was not even appealing in the first place, let alone after 8 hours in the bottom of a beach bag coated with fluff and sand.

Visit a local restaurant for lunch wearing a bikini top and a sarong. Flirt with the waiter a little bit.
Go to the local shop and ask if they have a nice picture postcard of the local attractions. Send a postcard to a friend and say "wish you were here!, oh hang on you are!"