Random shite your parents tell you with utter conviction...

[CharleyDavidson]

but that you know is bollocks!

My Mum insists that anything that you can inherit genetically from your family always skips a generation.

My Mum's blood is negative. As is mine. She asserts that I must have inherited that from my Grandmother. And she must have inherited hers from her grandmother.

Bonkers. I know that genetic traits can skip generations, but not always and not with such predictability. But she won't have it.

my mum works out everybody's age in her whole family (and my dad's) by how old they were at her wedding in 1971 ! and she is always wrong !

Case in point my cousin mentioned she is 50 this year and having a big party.

''mum i can't believe how old XX is this year - 50 ! ''
''No .... hang on....when I got married she was 12 , so that's makes her 48 this year''
''SHE KNOWS HOLD OLD SHE IS FGS'' !!!

My late grandmother was convinced that the only women that could whistle were lesbians.

How the hell?

My brother in law is anxious about taking his daughter to watch football too often 'in case it turns her into a lesbian'.

My grandmother said the day she wore a green dress her mother died. Also, blue and green should never be seen (worn together).

I have lots of the superstitious examples actually. My friends great grandmother, many years ago, said they pierced the ears of the young children to protect their eyes from disease. A strange one I thought

My mum has 'the Google' and 'the Facebook'. She can't understand why I don't see the same things as her on 'the Facebook' no matter how much I try to explain that she sees what her friends post and I see what mine post. For a while she was convinced I didn't like her friend, Judy, because I never commented on any of the hilarious things Judy posts. I have never met Judy, so have no feelings about her either way.

My mum also thinks EastEnders is an accurate depiction of the lives of working class people in London. And that all women in Yorkshire dress like Pauline Prescott. I live in Yorkshire and have tried to tell her that no one does, but apparently that just shows my friends are weird and probably scruffy hippies.

MIL insists that DP was 'dry' at 15 months and that he had the MMR vaccine (in 1963)

That any man interacting/feeding/doing anything for their children is a 'great dad'. You should see Steven with little Eric, he played with him for a good half an hour and then bathed him'

No, my dad was just lazy and uninterested in doing any parenting.

That my curly hair would look better if I would just brush it.

My granny knew she was having a boy 'because that midwife only delivered boys'.

alltouchedout I've got a membership certificate and everything!

Bay my parents did that too! I used to spend hours making it look halfway decent and they'd just say 'It needs a brush' and try to force me before I went out. It used to make me cry!

MonkeyMonk 21 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter my GP actually said to me "Ooh you've got big feet, your pelvis will be big enough!"
I took it with a pinch of salt. And anyway, my feet are only size 6. Hardly massive!!

MonkeyMonk 21 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter my GP actually said to me "Ooh you've got big feet, your pelvis will be big enough!"
I took it with a pinch of salt. And anyway, my feet are only size 6. Hardly massive!!

Dh's nan swore that fil was born 2 months early in 1945,I had no reason to disbelieve her until I found out he weighed 9lb! Also when their 50th wedding anniversary came round I realised it was 7 months before fil's birthday! I can understand why she said if at the time as having a child out of wedlock would be frowned upon but she seemed convinced it was the truth.

An elderly female relative, who had been a nurse, back in the day, told me that you can catch diabetes if you are bitten by a diabetic

I did say to her that she was mixing up vampires and werewolves with diabetics, but, no, she was convinced that diabetes was catching. Ironically I now have Type 1 diabetes, wonder what she'd have said if she'd been around when I was diagnosed.
I've heard lots of the random stuff mentioned here.

• Children having ears pierced and wearing gold earrings to help eyesight
• Not wearing red and green together as it's bad luck (they are the colours of the sidhe/fairies, and wearing them together annoys the
  little people) - lots of unlucky Christmas jumpers then.

• Going out with wet hair will make you deaf and ill.
• Sitting on hard surfaces will give you piles.

"My dad thinks that Brexit was needed to stop people knocking off work early on a friday to go play golf??? Im still confused. Does this really happen?"

Yes, I think it does, but then it would be managers who probably have flexi time. If they're working their hours (and maybe lots of overtime because we have an opt-out from the Working Time Directive), what's the problem?

exbrummie when I was about 8 I got an almighty bollocking off my mum and nan, as I was asking the birthdays and significant dates of my nan's siblings and parents...they said my great gran and grandad (who were alive at the time and present in the room) got married in September 1934 and later said Uncle Geoff was born in March 1935. Unbeknown of the mortal sin of sex before marriage in the 30s at the time, I said "oh so gran was pregnant with Uncle Geoff on her wedding day?".

What followed was like I'd spilled a state secret. Everyone stopped what they were doing; cutlery was dropped and my nan gasped. Great gran shuffled out the room and I got told in no uncertain terms must I never say anything like that ever again.

Took me years to figure out what I'd done wrong

"must take my coat off immediately after entering the house or I won't feel the benefit when I go back outside.

That really is true though! I tell my children the same."

I'm afraid it's not.

On the other hand, I also thought it was illegal to wear a balaclava. Can't find one anywhere anyway.

Oooh complete aside here - CherryChasingDotMuncher did you have your baby? Did you call her Cuntaline?

"she was absolutely adamant that the reason they could not go to this restaurant was because they would be getting above their station. This was said in 2011; not 1911. I have no idea where it came from, or why she wanted to put back social mobility by fifty years."

I would think we all have things like that Cartight. I wouldn't go to watch polo or marry an aristocrat (even if one wanted to marry me) or lots of other things.

"-A cup of tea on a hot day will cool you down"

It can do by making you sweat. They drink tea in India don't they.

KitKat I have been to hospital no fewer than three arsing times thinking g "this is it"...and then contractions have stopped pretty much the moment I step into the labour Ward 😫😫😫 every time! I blame Cuntaline. Bitch I am getting an induction date tomorrow so fingers crossed baby won't be much longer!

People from the Middle East climb up onto the bowl and stand on the toilet seat to use it (I did try to clarify if she meant squat toilets, but no apparently not).

People accustomed to squat toilets do have form for squatting on the toilet seat when first exposed to western toilets - these signs are increasingly common, they're now in all the loos at my very multicultural university. There's a BBC article about them here.

MonkeyMonk and girlandboy - when I was in hospital waiting to be induced with DS2 in 1983, a senior midwife made a tour of the ward with students. She asked every expectant mother their shoe size and if they stated a small size, she said something like, "ooh, you could be in for a rough time/have problems," etc. Really not what they wanted to hear as they were all in the ante-natal ward for some other problem in the first place.

When she left, I was able to put them straight. I have fairly small size 4.5 feet and when I was expecting DS1 I had a lengthy scan because he was lying breech - I was told I had a large, well-shaped pelvis.

No doubt there are still parents peddling myths but I hope midwives aren't.

Mil: -if you wear green it makes you die (tho apparently it suits me and I should wear it more often) angry

A lot of older woman believe Green to be unlucky. My mum would insist that anyone in the family buying a new car should not buy a green one. Mind you, she would not let dad get a yellow car as they are 'common' and insisted in him getting a white one. Dad and I took immense enjoyment in pointing out ALL the 'not common at all' white cars!

Mum also used to tell me not to eat cakes when they are hot as they will give you a tummy ache. I replied thank goodness we never eat sponge puddings then! (we did!)

An elderly female relative, who had been a nurse, back in the day, told me that you can catch diabetes if you are bitten by a diabetic

That is brilliant! So I am a rabid diabetic am I? Cool, I have power!!!!