Someone has nicked my username!

[QueenMortificado]

Name changed to this off the back of another thread a few weeks ago where I used the word Mortificado and my previous name had had Queen in it

Today I see someone else is now registered as TheQueenMortificado.

Wtf. It's myyyyy name. Aren't there rules around plagiarism like this???

TQM if you see this come forward and explain yourself!

Dunno, is McDonalds coffee vegan?

Isn't all coffee vegan until you make it into cappuccino?

Technically Kopi Luwak is a byproduct of animals so not vegan. But I don't think McDonalds serve it?

I'd have thought civet shit was a perfect fit with the rest of their 'cuisine'.

UncleMortificaodo

I am here. I don't know why you keep banging on about "answer your phone". All my worldly goods were confiscated by... er... yes .. you... when you forced me into this position of being your pawn.

To be honest, I do fucking fancy Guilford. He is HOT. What are you going to do about it?

I have siphoned all munnies via your Nigerian bank account

but frankly I fear my days are numbered

Fuckinell. You're still all here. Mummy!

Where the fuck were you when your hipster brethren invaded?

Look over there, they've built a granola bar.

The kings and queens all seem to have gone, no stamina. Make your move, LJ, the Prince is too wet to offer resistance

Meow

I lost my Mortificado

Did someone mention munny?

YoungPretender, dead?
Oh, I'm not standing for this. She barbequed the best rats. And her garden furniture was far and away the highest quality I've ever drank communion whisky at.

I have decided to go into exile. I've been thinking about it.

I've got control of the Papal vestments, the Papal coffers have been emptied and the Munnies are now in a numbered account in the Cayman Islands, I am up to the gills with barbecued rat and confitted dragon eggs and fancy a nice bit of Toblerone (the white one.)

I an therefore signing the Papacy with immediate effect, packing up my new garden furniture and the remaining cases of MortificadoPapalSingleMalt, and boarding a dirigible to Switzerland.

So long suckers, and thanks for all the fish!

*resigning, not signing

The MortificadoAutocorrect is even worse than the usual one.

By the way - those cruciferous vegetables were delicious, GreengrocerMortificado, and have the added advantage of providing enough gas to power my dirigible.

God - it's fab here in the Alps, and the stress of no longer being PapalYoungPretenderMortificado has fell from my shoulder with the first bite of Toblerone.

As I sit here admiring my Munnies and caressing my Papal Vestments, with my feet up on my garden furniture, I cannot but think of you all still scrabbling for the crown and the Pontificate in my absence.

I found a small dragon secreted in my underwear when I opened my case - I've decided to keep it as a pet - it's a bonny little thing, and I've already trained it to flame all of these bleedin' cuckoo clocks that are popping out all over the sodding place! This is solar the only disadvantage to Switzerland (oh - except for the Bankers - you can't throw a brick without hitting someone from the International Money Commission here. Brick throwing has become my new hobby. It's a lot of fun - better than trying to dg your way out of an oubliette with a pair of eyebrow tweezers.)

*so far - not solar

It seems that everywhere one goes, MortificadoAutocorrect follows. It isn't a branch of the MortificadoInquuisition, is it?

Dear dad

Thanks again for coming to graduation, what a great day, sorry again for getting a bit tiddled on the strawberries and champers.

I got the job! From Monday morning I'm going to be a Boeing 747! It's very exciting, if a bit unnerving, still some practicalities to sort out (clearly) but overall I'm looking forward to it.

Never did see that Mortificado Inquisition after waiting up so long, I suppose expecting them did them off.

Anyway - I'm off now, I'll see you at Christmas.

Love to you, the biological parents, and all remaining strands of royalty

xxxxx

I thought of leaving the thread before everyone else did.

Am I now anointed Queen of not much?

Hmmm!

Hey kid (#soproud!) all the best with the new job. I would guess you will find yourself especially valued on routes afflicted by bird-strike, just added fuel for you!

Congratulations GraduateDragonOfMortificado.

Even though I am relaxing on an Alp with three different types of Toblerone (enjoying it with my new besties - a couple of guys called Adolf Hilter and Heinrich Hillmer - they seem pleasant enough chaps, but a bit obsessed with maps and uniforms), I still take an interest in the lives of what used to be the Sheep of My Flock.

I knew you would do good! There is a congratulatory Bat-Flavoured Toblerone With Crispy Cat Bits on its way to you.

Flappy is very excited to learn how far a dragon can go in the world, and I'm sure it is an incentive to I'm to stick in at his education!

*him, not I'm dammitt!!!

Hmph, we haven't forgotten about you scoffing the eggs, you think a bit of toblerone makes it all ok? Especially if its the new more gap than chocolate shape.

As to 'Flappy' (what sort of name is that for a noble beast?), well good luck with that. Remember he hasn't had the benefit of a magic amulet, so while you may have a bit more of the cute scamp stage to enjoy, you've got years of grumpy teenager to come. Check the details of your household insurance, and don't even think of living in a picturesque wooden Swiss chalet - theres a reason why dragon owners tend to live in solid stone castles.

i have seen another sallybowles on here asweĺl

Oh... are we going to decamp(oddly inapt term in this context maybe) to prewar Berlin?