Someone has nicked my username!

[QueenMortificado]

Name changed to this off the back of another thread a few weeks ago where I used the word Mortificado and my previous name had had Queen in it

Today I see someone else is now registered as TheQueenMortificado.

Wtf. It's myyyyy name. Aren't there rules around plagiarism like this???

TQM if you see this come forward and explain yourself!

You'd do well to rein it in dragon, don't want to be mistaken for a feral stray.

Ob - vios - ly I'm not a stray or a muggle HALFbloodPrince

If you wouldn't mind not staring, dragon, only my clothing appears to have disintegrated due to your FERAL firebreathing. If you were that curious about what the other HALF was you could have asked.

I was at my airbnb.

Is there nobody left to execute?

What about my munny?

May as well take the throne TheExecutionerMortificado

Seeing as you are here.

God giveth and all that

JANE, for fuck's sake ANSWER YOUR PHONE.

While you're off shagging my son in fields of gold, the FUCKING DIVINE LORD HAS HANDED THE THRONE TO THE MORONIC HENCHMAN

Moronic henchwoman, please!

Don't forget to add Queen to your username TheExecutionerMortificado. 😂

JAAAAAAAANE

Fucking hell, that's the last time I rely on a hormonal religious brat. Gotta do EVERYTHING myself.

Hope they fare no better than the Buttery Army, Uncle!

Humph that Queen never did tell me 'ow many taters she wanted. Oh well on wiv me song

You may think me job is a dull one
I'm a Greengrocer what is on wheels
But I wouldn't swap with a bloke in the shop
What I serve makes much better meals.
I've learned quite a lot as I push round the street
A-selling the old fashioned way
They tell me they'd miss me if they didn't see me
Coming around every day.

I'm out with me barrow on the streets all day
Hawking me greens about.
Nice cauliflowers
You can't beat ours
You can hear me shout "I'm here girls"
Nice French beans
Curly little greens
And me spuds all nice and brown
And if you boil 'em half an hour
They're like a bowl of flour
And me rhubarb is the best in all the town!

I don't sell no rubbish on me barrow
And I don't serve it in no fancy pack
But they takes what they wants
And they pays when they can
And I don't 'ave 'em bring nothing back.
I know all me customers, their trouble and strife
I know all their 'opes and their fears
I ain't missed a day of me round all me life
I've served 'em for thirty-five years

How Long?
Thirty-Five Years!

I'm out with me barrow on the streets all day
Hawing me greens about.
Nice cauliflowers
You can't beat ours
You can hear me shout "I'm 'ere girls"
Nice french beans
Curly little greens
And me spuds all nice and brown
And if you boil 'em half an hour
They're like a bowl of flour
And me rhubarb is...
Me rhubarb is...
Me rhubarb is the best... in... all... the... town!

Rhubarb!

Ta da!

Admires

I've knocked you up an official coronation painting your majesty

With the children of course. Thinking of them.

Ooh, lovely!

I thought of the children before it was cool.

DEATH TO ALL HIPSTERS!
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!

Charging sounds so much better on vinyl.

Is coffee vegan?

#healthyliving #life #love #energy #onewithnature #spirit #force-feeding #love

Cruel but fair.

I AM the true Pope you episcopal pervert. The "YoungPretender" bit was from my former role, before I was was called to the service of JesusMortificado. The moment I fulfilled my vocation I excommunicated YOU - so you're TOO LATE!

NyahNyahNaNyahNyah ()

As Pontifex Maximus I DOUBLY excommunicate you - and your whisky-knickered consort.

At least she didn't singe your beard off.

GreengrocerMortificado
Have a blessing. Your song has cheered me up a treat - makes a change from:

"Get yer 'nanas an' cabbage 'ere! C'mon darlin' - I'll show yer a luverly bitta cucumber iff'n yer comes round' the backa me barra"

which is what the other greengrocer used to shout.

And while you're on, I'lll have a pound of mixed cruciferous vegetables and a stick of rhubarb.