Things that stay with you.

[penfriends]

What random things have struck a chord with you?

Mine is a Postsecret card that said:

"Everyone who knew me before 9/11 think I'm dead"

I read it years ago but I think about that person. Family, parents, siblings.

Just one sentence but it's stayed with me fore years.

Telling ds1 his dad had died suddenly. I have never heard a wail like it.

Phoning my dad at work to tell him my mum had died.

My hv and family support worker telling me how strong I am and that I was their best success "story"

The first time dc4 called me mummy. I didn't think I would be his mum so it made me weep.

Getting the keys to my new home, we had nothing. My hv turned up with a car full of stuff - stools, plates, curtains etc She was amazing

Dc3 school gave me all the leftovers from the Christmas Fete - we had Christmas pudding, biscuits, crackers, decorations, juice, fruit

As many bad people as there are in the world it is surely balanced out by the good and amazing people who go that extra mile for others.

I'm sorry but your son has a large brain tumour.

I'm sorry but the chemo has not worked.

I'm sorry but the radiotherapy has not worked.

We can make him comfortable.

"Mum - if it's bad news you won't leave me will you?" "Never, son, never."

The noise he made as he took his last breath.

The way his hand moved as his life left him.

His brother doing a reading at his funeral.

minmooch I am so so sorry

I've nominated this thread for classics. I've been so emotional reading these posts.

for all of you. People, and life, can be so cruel.

Coming back from holiday overseas, checking FB, and realising a friend of mine had died. His funeral 3 weeks later, where there were so many people there wasn't even any stading room left in the car park. Finding out that he'd killed himself.

DF telling me how much of a natural i was when DS1 was born. I fell pregnant unexpectedly and when i told my parents he said i can't imagine you as a mum.

The look on my mums face when i told her i was expecting a boy- could have lit up a dark room

My Dh when he proposed- said Lolly you drive me insane but your the only person i want to wake up with.

On a sad note when i was a newly qualified nurse i was caring for an elderly man who was alone and had terminal cancer. The pallitive care team thought he might be more comfortable in the pallative care centre which is slightly outside the hospital grounds. We transfered him and i went with him. Myself and one of the nurses who worked there settled him in and then she left the room. I sat down nextto him and said i had to go back to work. He held my hand and said don't ever get old you beautiful young girl. When i lefti cried all the way back to work.

Hi all,

We've had a couple of reports about how lovely this thread is and we've moved it over to classics now.

I was not popular at high school.

My Grannie bought me a pair of beautiful tights.

One the girls who bullied me got down on her hands and knees and used her fingernails to rip my tights apart.

I will always regret not dobbing her in.

Loads, but the one that keeps me awake at night was from a police officer outside my sisters home after she pulled me out saying everything was fine and then stood next to me and radioed to control "Back up required, body blocking the door."

Don't think nice ever cried so much at a thread on MN massive love to you all who have been/are going through such tough times

Mine seems quite petty in comparison and I suppose is both good and bad really ... we were skiing when I was about 12 and I had a MASSIVE crush on the gorgeous Aussie ski instructor, my DM and I were in a bubble lift with him and he turned to me and said "you know what you're pretty" ridiculously long pause during which my face lit up "pretty stupid". I was absolutely crushed and desperate not to show it or cry. My DM wanted to kill him for being so cruel but didn't want to embarrass me so just held my hand. I'll always remember his cruelty and my DM's support so as I said both good and bad!

I was 19 and was going out with my first real boyfriend. His mother was one of those 'I speak my mind' types. In front of a roomful of their family she said I reminded her of a celebrity (I don't!) but we both had pixie haircuts, both very slim.....I said 'oh' (shy, brought up not to be boastful, respect elders and all people in authority!) she then actually snorted laughing and said 'don't think I'm paying you a compliment, I don't think she's good looking!' Everyone laughed, including boyfriend. I'll never forget the humiliation I felt. Never.

Confiding in my mum that I was struggling balancing mental illness and being a single mother. Told me maybe I should have gotten an abortion. Then got to watch a while later as sister struggled with being a mum too and was whisked off to my mums, babysat for, helped to rest etc. Asked my mum about it once, denied both ever happened.

Getting a call from my sister that Dad wasn't right and going round to find him in a terrible state. Delirious, unsteady, clearly unwell.

Having to bite my tongue to hear that he'd been worsening over the last couple of days but those that lived with him hadn't noticed it for what it was.

Taking Dad to the hospital and watching him being treated for the superficial symptoms knowing in my heart that something more sinister was to blame.

Sitting with my DDad at every appointment when he got bad news.
It's cancer.
The chemo hasn't worked.
It's too life-threatening to risk operating
Being called round to a family meeting for him to share that he'd had a prognosis of a few months.
You can have radiotherapy to shrink it palliatively.
The cancer is in his bones.
And now it's blocking his bowel and he has 'hours to days' left.

The memory of the sound and the feel of him sobbing while we held him when he had each step of bad news.

And the sight of him in his bed during that last week. Sitting in a horrible limbo knowing that he was slipping away and we wanted to hold on tight to him, but that really he needed to be allowed to slip away to limit his pain and discomfort.

The sight of him after he'd gone.

And the sight of his coffin at the funeral.

Also, though, the many fabulous memories I have of him being a wonderful Dad and the way that many many of his and our friends remember him as being such a funny and great man.

(Sorry, long)

One thing I will always remember is a girl in my year 11 class at school saying "I don't see the point in being upset with the way I look, it's my face and I'm going to have it for life, and I get on with it"

The girl won't even remember saying it, but her confidence and the bold truth of it really resonated with my as an incredibly insecure 13yo and still does. Whenever I'm looking in the mirror feeling 2 feet tall, I remember her and those words.

two things from when I split up with my ex.

I had caught him in bed with a young girl apparently he got her pregnant and she gave birth just after GCSEs. He was 24 It was our bed, In our house that we'd just bought.

We argued. I'll never forget the words 'you got so fat no man will ever want to fuck you'. I'd put on weight, but I was only a size 12. That was the start to my weight problems - DH loves me as I am, and if I'm honest, my weight gain was probably a lot to do with a massive fuck you to the ex.

The second thing. I hadn't told anyone in work. One day I was sitting at my desk, and I didn't realise it but tears were leaking down my cheeks. Next thing I know, there's a cup of tea next to my mouse mat. The lovely, lovely chap who sat the other side of our little partition had put it there, and stared intensely at his monitor for the next hour instead of risking catching my eye. It was an office where we all went to the kitchen for tea breaks and made our own. Nobody ever made a brew for anyone else. And neither of us ever mentioned it again. Just that acknowledgement from someone, without prying, made me feel a million times better that day. I'm sure he'll never know how grateful I was

I got pregnant by my abusive boyfriend at uni and decided to keep the baby. My mum was furious. My granny said 'you've taken all the joy out of her first grandchild'.

(I meant to say year 9 class - it's been a looong time!)

stardust I hope all has worked out well for you and your DC

I love that one Cwtchy ! Good way to look at things.

The Flaming Lips

"Do you realise, that everyone you know, someday will die"

And at a beloved uncle's funeral, his son stood up to give the eulogy. He started

"you didn't think they'd come dad"

the church was packed. I don't know why it was so powerful but he had just summed up the modesty and love everyone had for him so perfectly.

Thank you Cwtchy, it has - she's grown up now, I went on to meet my lovely dh and we have 4 more children. X

After my cancer diagnosis, my DH said, 'I want us to grow old together'.
to all of you.

I have a positive one.

Sitting in a restaurant with my 4 children and DP and an elderly couple sitting next to us came up at the end of the meal and said,

"Your a beautiful family and the love you have for your children shines from your eyes and they return it straight back with the genuine love in their smiles."

I think I may have wept at the table, I am always so paranoid that people are judging us for being young parents with lots of children that this warmed me to my core.