Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

£100 is extremely generous.

Though that's kind of not the point, as even if you gave nothing a polite thanks would be expected.

Don't mind too much if it turns out the happy couple have singled you out for special grabby treatment. Sounds like she's decided you are an heiress of a substantial fortune that she wants a slice of... Yuck. Such unpleasant behaviour.

Tell everyone! Everyone deserves to know what a grabby cow she is.

Placemarking in a slightly shameless way, but not as shameless as gabby, grabby bride...

What a cheeky bitch! The gall of some people. I was over the moon when we got £50 as a gift from one person for our wedding I thought it was very extravagant!

I would send them an invoice for the £100, saying their lack of grace and manners was not what you expected from them, given the generosity of your gift, so you would like to readjust the amount given.

"I am sorry to read this, I didn't know you had a specific amount in mind. How much were you looking for, out of interest?"

Please please send this.

Is this the groom, on the left?

Cancel the cheque if you can, and send them a message telling them to get fucked! Or if you are a bit more polite than me, cancel the cheque then send them a message telling them you are donating the amount to a charity of your choice instead x

cancel the cheque. simple.

OP, I am on utter tenterhooks here. I feel I have invested a prizeworthy poem Far Too Much in this thread, and I need to know how such brass-neckery exists! It's like one of those graphs where you have to exclude the outlying plots when you come to analyse your data, because they are so ridiculously far away from where the neat line needs to go. Basically this level of behaviour statistically should not exist!

Loving the idea of stringing them along to find out how much they WOULD have considered sufficient - then displaying as publicly as possible what grabby arses they are!

cancel the cheque. simple.

Except the op has said about eleventy billion times that the cheque has already been cashed.

Op just cancel the cheque

Ha ha ha

Ooh, a new thought from me....

Have you considered cancelling the cheque?

Do you have Monopoly in the house? I think I'd send them a couple of Monopoly tenners.

Cancel the cheque first, of course.

In all seriousness, I wonder if the message was meant for someone else if only you received it, and they are now too mortified to reply having realised that from your reply to them.

I wonder if the OP cancelled the cheque? Sorry, I'm a sheep. Baa.

The encashment of our cheque signals acceptance of our gift. I'm sorry if you feel the sum was insufficient, but our offer and your acceptance of £100 concludes this contract. We feel it was more than generous for the nature of our acquaintance.

Have a wonderful marriage, you greedy bastards.

Or... for something completely different...
OP, cancel the cheque you could.

I'm totally shocked.

I would respond: "Thank you kindly for acknowledging our donation. In light of your response, I certainly would like to make an adjustment to our gift. We would gladly accept a full refund upon receipt of your outrageous message of 'thanks'. Please send a cheque."

There's you bloody adjustment. Never heard the like.

Lure her into a honey trap!
Email saying actually I feel you're right I'm so lucky with my inheritance that I would like to give you some more money to help you start your married lives together. Then arrange a meet up to hand over a bag of cash. Which will contain potato peelings. (Lighthearted)
On a serious note I can empathise. My DH lost his parents suddenly and has inherited. Sadly my family is acting differently now as they are making assumptions about our financial choices. I wish they didn't know.

I LOVE the idea of asking for a refund, now you realise quite how rude and ungrateful a person she is

In what kind of messed up alternate universe is the warmth expressed at a wedding given a monetary value?

OP, you really don't need these people as friends if this is the way they intent to live their lives - knowing the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Sorry, haven't read all the replies... but I expect you ARE the only one who has had this request, given that you are (presumably) the only recent recipient of an inheritance?

Therefore the recipient of an invitation

btw just cancel the cheque what a good idea - nobody's thought of that yet. gah.

What I find amazing is. Did they honestly in their heart of heart's believe whilst well firstly deciding to send the email, writing the email, and then sending the email, that. You were going to say. Oh here you go. Here's another £300. Did they honestly think that you're that much of a soft touch.
Mind you the crazy part is. Yes they did.