Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a2138616-Oh-do-I-have-a-new-low-in-wedding-poems-for-you

This one.....

Wtaf?

I'd 'draw' a 'cheque' on a piece of scrap paper and send it to her. The more childlike and scribbley the better. Make it for £10,000.

In other news- teafortoads I thought I was the only person who ever said fuck me sideways!!

.... Back to the thread now...

Just in case

THE OP HAS ALREADY SAID TWICE THAT THE CHEQUE HAS BEEN CASHED!

I'm blatantly place marking and the advice to cancel the cheque is getting on my tits.

What do you do?
Ignore.
Then,
a) cancel the cheque (I honestly think I would in your shoes).
You can put it down to the lack of warmth you felt in their reply.
b) send them some monopoly money notes or a toy cheque

Fucking hell, what a nerve of some people. They need a wake up call.
Please, please Puzzle do not send any more money. If you do then you will prove you're the soft touch they believe you to be.

You did request a read receipt didn't you?!

Yes I did, and yes she's read it ... no reply though

I've also spoken to a couple of people I considered the most likely recipients of the same email (I made the excuse of wanting to know if she'll be at tomorrow's event, though I know she won't). One said they've not heard from her since the wedding and the other mentioned they saw her only this week, but didn't say anything else and seemed fine

I'm now getting paranoid that it really is just me who received it

Send her two nice crisp £500 notes from your monopoly set!!!!

Apologies, xpost re: the cashed cheque.
Pity

we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day

Did you sleep with the groom?

What does it even mean? The more friendlier you are in greeting them the more you should pay?

Is there a scale? A handshake and a peck on the cheek equates to how much?

If you doing your arms around the bride do you pay more?

It's ridiculous!

As for In view of your own position, that is completely bad form and stupendously crass! The only position you would be in after reading that utter guff is frozen still with your mouth slack jawed and wide open!

I cannot believe anyone would be such an ignoramus!

The word ghastly sums her up perfectly!

Beat ourself - pointless though as people are not reading the whole thread before They post.

That's beyond cheeky!! Urghhh

BeYourself..

I'm from an era where giving money or asking for money was deemed vulgar.

Op, you should have stuck to some nice bone China!

I would have been tempted to ask her how much she was expecting!! I'm getting married in November and cannot imagine ever sending something like this afterwards!!!

This bride is more than ghastly. She's vulgar....

Sorry if this has already been mentioned but the email was definitely for you wasn't it?!

Tate that's brilliant!

OP, thinking about things, it's possible the other people have received an email, but are themselves worried they are the only ones who've received this request so haven't said anything in case you hadn't received one. If you get where I'm heading.

I think it's absolutely horrible. I would be a mixture of catastrophic angry and hurt.

Don't be paranoid OP, she will be like this with others I am sure

I would print the email and show it to your friends. I would also name and shame her on Facebook. Cheeky bint.

Send the greedy rude ungrateful bint a pair of duelling pistols with a note stating, "One of you will thank me later."

Many years ago, in another country, MIL was asked to give a donation (of any amount at all) towards a plasma TV for a couple who were already living together and had all the basics they needed. Against our advice, MIL gave the happy couple a coffee pot as she objected to giving money, it not being a tradition in her culture. The married couple graciously thanked her for the coffee pot. That's all.

Outrageous. I would be ashamed if my daughter did that. Your gift was more than generous. They are very rude. Manners maketh (wo)man,

Liberatedwine

I'd get a load of bed sheets and spray paint them with

I GAVE GREEDY MCGREEDY £100 AS A WEDDING GIFT AND THE UNGRATEFUL COW ASKED FOR MORE!

and hang them all over town!

Or hire one of those triangle billboards to tow around the area with a picture of the bride and the message as above!

I'm absolutely gobsmacked. I'd of replied,

"Hello, Thank you for inviting me. I am glad you had a nice wedding day as after all getting married to the one you love and celebrating with friends and family is the main purpose of the day (not receiving cash) However, are you seriously implying 100 pounds from a single, ex colleague, isn't a decent gift? Did you mean to be so cheeky? If yes, wow! You can fuck right off you cheeky, money grabbing bint. I hope you have a long, happy marriage. Don't contact me again"