Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

is this the worst and most self-absorbed piece of journalism ever written? (most amusing)

453 replies

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 13/12/2006 23:12

Without a word of a lie, this was printed in The Evening Standard the other day after the tornado. A friend of mine has picked it up and thinks it's worth celebrating in all its pompous, un-self-aware, London meeja whore bourgeois pig awfulness. it's not a piss-take. really it isn't.

"My tornado hell. This is to celebrate and remember the excellent article by freelance writer Caroline Phillips from the Evening Standard. When it was printed is irrelevant, the point is to keep it alive forever, long after the last landfill has rotted away, we are all dust, and your children's children's children may revel in the words contained herein." here

OP posts:
DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 14/12/2006 13:01

Greenday - tell me you didn't have respect for the Evening Standard pleeeeeease

Well MY main concern is...

Do you think that film-producer Juliet Levy's parents thought that she had made a suitable match when she settled down with builder Nathan Brown? Imagine the rictus grins at the wedding from the parents of the bride

Honestly if I ever met this woman I would be forced to beat her to a pulp

fatwoman · 14/12/2006 13:07

can we all change our names to our caroline phillips name. purlease. we have been know to play the 2 or 3-word journo description game and we love it (we went on holiday this year with wannabe guru, morgan-stanley banker, ad exec turned housewife, banker's wife and mother-of-2) it would have been so much more fun to do the Phillips versions.

KathyMCMLXXII · 14/12/2006 13:08

OMG. When I first saw this thread I thought you were all being horrid, going on at a poor traumatised woman who had had her house destroyed in the tornado etc etc. Then I read the article.

What is a floating shelf anyway?

Original poster
whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 14/12/2006 13:15

i liked the apartheid thing too, NQC... i'm pretty sure that when the townships were torched they dispossessed blacks were put up in the Soweto Hilton for the night. that, and the thought of the insurance assessor pausing briefly to admire her polished plaster as he packed them off to Claridges... unbelievable.

OP posts:
DeckthehallsLaDiDaDi · 14/12/2006 13:16

A floating shelf is one where you can't see any brackets.

I have a lovely one from Ikea .

bundle · 14/12/2006 13:17

bump for latecomers like me

Original poster
whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 14/12/2006 13:17

IKEA!!!??

Begone, pleb.

OP posts:
EniDeepMidwinter · 14/12/2006 13:18

THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING i HAVE EVER EVER READ

am emailing it to about a million people

I really hope she is stinkingly embarrassed

DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 14/12/2006 13:18

yes
our recording-studio owning record-producer neighbour Digby put some up last week in his house they look lovely.

ruty · 14/12/2006 13:18

it has got to be a spoof. If it isn't the woman needs to have her possessions confiscated and sent to work at the nearest chain gang. A pitiful excuse for a human being. I'm with you moondog on the revolution.

DesperatelyUpset · 14/12/2006 13:20

Don't you think that the fact that she needs to name drop and everything else shows how desperately insecure she is deep down?

I can't see anywhere that she has actually been nasty to anyone else. If she were to read this thread, she would be gutted I suspect.

EniDeepMidwinter · 14/12/2006 13:21

its just so....shaming

the bit about Ciprianis made me snort coffee through my nose

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 14/12/2006 13:22

My DH put up our floaters with his own fair hand. And a few curses. Well I can't actually remember but since he has never been known to do any DIY without serial swearing it is a reasonable assumption.

So he can henceforth be known as Floating-Shelf-iInstalling-Bozza's-DH.

CambridgeeducatedGizmo · 14/12/2006 13:22

Do you think I can live on Caroline's street now? Maybe in Beryls old loft kitchen?

And Fennel, please put me out of my misery re snake leashed draining boards

DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 14/12/2006 13:22

when I am king she will be first against the wall
with her opinions which are of no consequence at all..

(ok queen)

KathyMCMLXXII · 14/12/2006 13:23

My house is full of shelves with visible brackets - I'm so ashamed.

I trust her 11 year old is suitably embarrassed by the claim that her favourite toy is a pink fluffy rabbit.

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 14/12/2006 13:23

Or maybe DH's moniker should be prefixed with "former" because they have been there for years.

DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 14/12/2006 13:23

poor Beryl

I bet she used to work in the local supermarket, she was salt of the earth
then all these cnuts moved into her street, real people moved out and she's stuck with them

UnquietDad · 14/12/2006 13:23

bet she looks like this

Admit it, ladies - for all our faults, a bloke could never, EVER, have written this pile of shit.

EniDeepMidwinter · 14/12/2006 13:24

clementines vomited across the floor

I cant believe I was too chicken shit to write articles

clearly they will pay for any old shite these days

greenday · 14/12/2006 13:25

DDDracula - lol! you're right, I never cared for Evening Standard anyway. Shame on the editor for allowing such crappy piece of journalism.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 14/12/2006 13:26

No, UnquietDad, a bloke would have written an entirely different pile of shit

KathyMCMLXXII · 14/12/2006 13:28

"Don't you think that the fact that she needs to name drop and everything else shows how desperately insecure she is deep down?"

Or was it just
"A need to be recognised when I'd almost been no longer."

Bet she was v proud of that immensely stylish sentence.

Can't get over 'I screamed with grief in the loo.'

ruty · 14/12/2006 13:29

comparing her plight to both the holocaust and apartheid makes me think it has to be a spoof. no one could be that far up their arse, could they?

DesperatelyUpset · 14/12/2006 13:29

They must have just been so thrilled to get an eyewitness view of the event from one of their usual journos.

Shame they didn't proof read it, but there you go.