is this the worst and most self-absorbed piece of journalism ever written? (most amusing)

[whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney]

Without a word of a lie, this was printed in The Evening Standard the other day after the tornado. A friend of mine has picked it up and thinks it's worth celebrating in all its pompous, un-self-aware, London meeja whore bourgeois pig awfulness. it's not a piss-take. really it isn't.

"My tornado hell. This is to celebrate and remember the excellent article by freelance writer Caroline Phillips from the Evening Standard. When it was printed is irrelevant, the point is to keep it alive forever, long after the last landfill has rotted away, we are all dust, and your children's children's children may revel in the words contained herein." here

oh yes

blokes would have been

Fuck me I was in the shed when a bloody great tornado ripped the roof off.

Sharon from next door (her with the great tits) screamed so I comforted her while managing a sneak down her t-shirt

Then I though sod this and went to the pub for a few nerve-steadying pints. By the time I got home the wife had everything in hand, dinner on the table. Not such a bad day really.

DingDongDraculaOnHigh - pmsl

Steady on , Dracula, didn't anyone tell you - only UnquietDad is allowed to make snidey sexist digs

PMSL Dracula.

I just dug the piece out of recycling. (It made me snort on Tues, thanks for the reminder, I must leave it out for DH.)
There'a a very styled pic of CP, pre-disaster, with kids and Douschka, simpering in the 'family room with its offwhite walls, stainless steel and sage-green stone surfaces', and in front of this group there's Adrian, doing a yogic-headstand. (Really.)
Then the 'after' shot. CP, grim-faced, in Tornado Chic, front of a kitchen counter, with a bit of broken glass on it. Oddly, all the lights seem to be working.

OMIGOD!! Adrian doing a yogic-headstand!!!!! The plot thickens in murky stinky goop. You'll have to scan it for us to see.
And Doushka ... what a name for a dog!!!

WTF is/are Ciprianis?

reminds me of douche-bag

it's a restaurant

Please do a scan, I have to see the yogic headstand. Just when you think it can't get any funnier.

I like your blokes' version. Although i think we'd have been more concerned about the CD collection.

"A monstrous cloud of black smoke that spread the width of two three-storey houses and towered above them 200 feet away across our gardens was angrily blasting branches, missiles, bricks and branches into the air. With sudden terror, I realised that the "smoke" was moving towards me"

Do you think she may have been watching too much "Lost"?

OK - Snake lashing here, about half way down. (googled with much trepidation, I have to say). And we used to make drainingn boards etc at guide camp too.

Unquiet Dad - pmsl. She is Echo.

And a bit of me is sooooooo envious that she got paid to write this drivel. I write incredible drivel. Does the Standard pay me, huh?

I particularly loved the way she passes over a newborn baby, a toddler, a bloke with schizophrenia, and so on because her effing sanctuary has been destroyed.

The Inferiority Complex can only be described as a sanctuary in the most technical, refugee-camp sense of the word.

i feel the same way, motherinferior... i am surveying the wreckage of my 'career' in light of the London Tornado...

if you google caroline phillips and tornado you can see that she wasn't lying about having spoken to every news organisation in the country. there's a photo of her on the bbc one. i've tried a link but it's not working. she's blonde and pritty, natch.

Beryl is my favourite character. When this is made into a film I want her played by Julie Walters, I think. With Hugh Grant as Useless Adrian.

desperatelyupset, the copy that's linked has been typed out by someone else I think rather than being copied and pasted (hence the spelling mistakes)

So what is the consensus? Real or piss-take? I mean I am with everyone who says surely it cannot be real but then again some people are incredibly self-absorbed. But do they have to be put in print?

Actually unquietdad it reads remarkably like a man trying to take off a woman of that type.

That's not a post-tornado pic, now, is it. Curiously reminiscent of Queen Mum poses.

It is real! It was in the Standard. Numerous people read it there. The Standard would not publish a satire on people who had lost their homes. And it is exactly the same as all her other journalism. And her side return extension was a bit spoiled.

mmm given how many interviews she gave, I can only imagine the first thing she thought of when her roof disappeared was the earning potential!

To be fair, she may have given the interview to Reuters or someone who then put it out for other news agencies to pick up.

It is one of the most embarrassing things I've ever read. I've never seen anything like this even in America. . . though you'd think I would have because the materialism & self-indulgence feels sort of American. But no: this is in its own category.

And to be even fairer, I might just have considered writing about it myself had that happened to me.