Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

is this the worst and most self-absorbed piece of journalism ever written? (most amusing)

453 replies

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 13/12/2006 23:12

Without a word of a lie, this was printed in The Evening Standard the other day after the tornado. A friend of mine has picked it up and thinks it's worth celebrating in all its pompous, un-self-aware, London meeja whore bourgeois pig awfulness. it's not a piss-take. really it isn't.

"My tornado hell. This is to celebrate and remember the excellent article by freelance writer Caroline Phillips from the Evening Standard. When it was printed is irrelevant, the point is to keep it alive forever, long after the last landfill has rotted away, we are all dust, and your children's children's children may revel in the words contained herein." here

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/12/2006 16:24

Headed someplace warm, Caroline?

Don't forget the suncream. You don't want to add to your stress w/a nasty burn and the increased possibility of skin cancer.

UnquietDad · 14/12/2006 16:25

I do hope you are going somewhere nice where only people who work as Steiner teachers,yogic teachers and fundraisers for the Conservative party would go.

Camping again?
Don't forget to take the nanny.

choosyfloosy · 14/12/2006 16:25

Not quite, expat. she judges carpets.

UnquietDad · 14/12/2006 16:27

"The panel comprised internationally renowned interior designers Nina Campbell and Cath Kidston; actress and property expert Fiona Fullerton; Brian Viner, columnist with The Independent; Sir Nicholas Lloyd, former editor of the Daily Express; John Duncan, chairman of the Carpet Foundation and Paul Phillips of Sunniva Carpeting."

Since when did Fiona Fullerton get promoted to "property expert" from "bit part actress with fantastic norks"?

CarolinePhillips · 14/12/2006 16:28

Why are you all being so cruel? I wouldn't berate you if you lost your homes. I feel that my family has suffered enough through all this. Douschka and Happy have had to be tranquilised at the kennels, they are so frightened.

foxtrottothefestivegrotto · 14/12/2006 16:28

It would be a nice gesture to take Beryl with you on holiday, non?

bakedpotato · 14/12/2006 16:28

it's only taken me all afternoon but you should be able to see 'before' and 'after' here

expatinscotland · 14/12/2006 16:28

Oh, where was Happy then?

UnquietDad · 14/12/2006 16:29

Put newspaper down on the floor if you do take Beryl.

NotQuiteCockney · 14/12/2006 16:30

I have decided to believe CarolinePhillips is real. She's nearly as much fun as ScrummyMummy or whatever her name is (where is she anyway?).

CarolinePhillips · 14/12/2006 16:31

We don't know where he was, only that when he returned he began the process of mending my daughters' broken hearts. Before he went to the cat and dog temporary accomodation.

CarolinePhillips · 14/12/2006 16:32

Oh I really don't believe it. You are putting up copies of the article now. Is there no end to your inhumanity?

taylormama · 14/12/2006 16:34

bakedpotato - truly that has made my year - that hideous rictus grin that CP is sporting as she watches her beloved Adrian doing his Yogic headstand has made me vomit my clemtines over the kitchen floor ....

foxtrottothefestivegrotto · 14/12/2006 16:34

Do Claridges not permit pets then?
Well done baked potato - i am a little concerned that the fruit bowl seems to have its full complement of clemetines though...

ediemcreedie · 14/12/2006 16:35

She is rather fat.

taylormama · 14/12/2006 16:35

clementines ...

UnquietDad · 14/12/2006 16:35

I wonder what this will do for Kensal Rise property prices? They might have all sorts being able to afford to move in. People without insurance, freshly-painted doors, nannies or TV producer friends. It will be ghastly.

CarolinePhillips · 14/12/2006 16:35

I wouldn't even eat a baked potato, never mind converse online with one. My nutritionist (who also attends to Elizabeth Hurley, since you ask) tells me that they promote bloating and of little value. Again, why are you behaving like this to me, a fellow mother?

taylormama · 14/12/2006 16:36

liz hurley would never play a fat person in a film - didn't she say once she would kill herself if she was as "fat" as marilyn monroe - Unquietdad - a cast re-think is required please

DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 14/12/2006 16:38

can i just be a little dull and point out that things like calling people fat have landed us in hot water before...

tortoiseBells · 14/12/2006 16:39

What was with the scientology/tornado bit at the end? Tell me she wasn't implying that because there was a tornado there in the fifties, the scientologists summoned it, so she'll have to leave to avoid further 'apocalypses' by the scientologists....!!!!!!

foxtrottothefestivegrotto · 14/12/2006 16:40

i hope the clementines (ta taylormama!) had leaves a la last night's nigella, otherwise they don't deserve to be called christmas clementines, they are just bog standard ones.

CarolinePhillips · 14/12/2006 16:41

Are you a Scientologist, taylormama? That would explain a lot.

taylormama · 14/12/2006 16:42

yes CP i am - me and Tom Cruise are best friends

bakedpotato · 14/12/2006 16:42

Even E. Hurley would look a bit bulky in four jumpers.
I'm sure CP's are very expensive ones, too.