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I am everything you hate about people on the internet. I am here to help.

751 replies

Blacklight · 12/02/2015 21:26

I am male, mid 20's and grew up with this technology.
Wondering what something means?
Wondering how to do something?
Wondering how your kids did something?
Wondering if you should let your kids do something?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Lweji · 17/02/2015 15:06

Apparently not.

I may need to go deeper undercover.

I am everything you hate about people on the internet. I am here to help.
00100001 · 17/02/2015 15:35

I'm losing all hope in a rescue from blacklight

He's abandoned us ???

Opopanax · 17/02/2015 16:55

I have been enlightened about the other site confusion. Binary is correct. There is no other site.

Blacklight · 15/03/2015 23:21

In the interest of full disclosure.

^1. Do you regret posting on Mumsnet and what made you do that in the first place. I’m quite sure there are many people who could use and would appreciate your help, but Mumsnet is famously a den of lions and, as you found out, they take great joy in eating people alive.

  1. Tell me as little or as much as you like about yourself (work, married, single, kids, the basics). Like I said, if you don’t want to use your name I am happy to just say that you wish to remain anonymous.
  2. Do you accept any of the criticism those women threw at you or were you just naïve in offering help to these people?
  3. Did you have any experience of Mumsnet before this incident?
  4. Anything else you want to tell me. My column is generally light-hearted so perhaps there might be an anecdote or something that’s happened since this that would be amusing.
  5. Are you staying away from Mumsnet from now on and why do you use that particular site in the first place?

That’s about it. I am hugely looking forward to your response. My deadline is about 3pm.

Simmy Richman
Associate editor/columnist
The Independent on Sunday^

---------------

  1. No I don't regret it, the consequences of what I have written amount to exactly zero. As I stated in the thread itself; it's all just text on a screen and there was no harm done by simply scrolling past the amusing, but off topic, replies.
  2. I have a roughly middle to higher management job working in some capacity for the government. Single. Because of my job I move around quite frequently so I'd rather not have the additional stresses of a relationship. I have had a serious relationship before now but found the amount of travelling I was doing to keep it alive was unmanageable. No kids. 3 Bed detached with a ford focus in the drive.
  3. A fairly loaded question here, which I'd like to dispel. I re-read the OP now and see my original intent is not obvious at all, and so obscure the alternatives given by others didn't really cover it. I have a twitter account on which I follow all the major news agencies and every couple of days I'll skim through reading the articles that catch my eye. I can't for the life of me remember the stories but I had recently read a few articles in which parenting forums were discussed along with the general culture of the internet. In one of these articles MN was specifically mentioned along with a number of statements I know to be false (again regrettably I can't remember the origin of these articles).
My intention was more for parents, somewhat specifically mothers, to be able to ask direct questions of someone who is involved in what is considered the more "shifty" culture on the web. More aimed at the websites that do not particularly appeal to their demographic; and I'd specifically like to rule out porn as being encapsulated in that criterion. The only part of the OP that even closely eludes to this is that I stated I am male and mid-twenties. Ironically the only detail that people took notice of! So far as the responses went, I had no idea the thread would take the direction it did, or become so infamous. I posted my post and minimised the window for about half an hour to return to approximately ten pages of replies. The majority of which in some way stating my qualifications were invalid as they have enough of a knowledge-base amongst the current sites residents. I've no doubt between them they have much higher certification so far as programming languages, networking, site design etc etc are concerned. I have no qualifications in the field whatsoever. Again, that wasn't really what I had intended the thread to be about. My biggest surprise actually was just how much they read into my statement that I was male. Post after post of "I'm qualified with this, but I'm not a man." I got the point pretty quickly so far as that one went. Nothing to actually contribute but more than happy to set aside the couple of minutes to post "I'm better than you." There were a couple of fun questions / comments thrown in there I enjoyed responding to, so the experience in it's entirety wasn't negative.
  1. None whatsoever. I have heard of it before, but never visited.
  2. Sadly. No.
  3. I'll keep an eye on the thread but the PM's asking me for my expert male help will go unanswered. I don't think I have a reason to stay to be honest. I mostly blame myself but my thread didn't exactly stay on the rails. Thankfully the internet is a wonderful place unlike the real world. If you're looking at something you don't like you have two things you can do. Keep looking at it, or just click that little red X and forget it ever existed.

If there's anything you'd like me to expand further on, or just clarify, feel free to e-mail me back. And so far as my full identity is concerned I'd rather only half my name known.

Mr White

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 02/09/2016 13:09

10 IF POSTER = MANSPLAINER THEN CLS
20 GOTO 10

So sad I missed this thread at the time. What on earth was he thinking???

I especially liked the bit where he carefully explained Instagram and GPS for everyone. Grin

PS My new book about the Internet and child privacy is out in November. Maybe he might like to read that for some tips.

PikachuSayBoo · 02/09/2016 13:16

Did The Independent actually run an article on this?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 02/09/2016 14:06

Pikachu it's a couple of paragraphs at the bottom of this article:
www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/wed-like-to-take-you-home-with-usthe-truth-behind-the-beatles-sgt-pepper-cover-shoot-10061884.html

GiddyOnZackHunt · 02/09/2016 14:08

I do wonder if there were any PMs requesting his expert help.

coughingbean · 02/09/2016 14:16

Did binary ever escape?!

PikachuSayBoo · 02/09/2016 14:27

Thanks Giddy.

I actually wish he'd come back and explain Reddit!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 02/09/2016 15:30

Have a look at this:
www.digitaltrends.com/social-media/reddit-101/
It's a bit like a wiki of news with up and down voting.

AverageGayLad · 02/09/2016 15:39

As an 18 year old lad who grew up with newer technology than you did I'm sure I'm fine Grin

00100001 · 02/09/2016 21:31

The toys took over, I had to move house in the end to escape Grin

Squeegle · 12/11/2016 09:35

boffinmum, what is you book called. I really need some help with locking down some of the over 18 type sites for my 12 year old DS on his phone and laptop. He's much more internet savvy than me so he undoes anything I put on - e.g. Metacert, norton family.

Greengirl3803 · 27/09/2017 21:21

Hi - I need to stop DD downloading new apps onto her phone without my permission- is there any software I can put on her phone to help me?

KinkyFruits · 28/09/2017 01:57

If you actually want responses, try starting a new thread rather than reviving a zombie from aeons ago.

KinkyFruits · 28/09/2017 01:58

To be fair, it is a fabulously funny one. But still.

WoeIsMee · 05/05/2020 14:13

The responses to this still have me howling 😂

Pinklewinkle · 05/02/2021 10:24

Sorry took so long to comment, just skinning a mammoth for my hirsute hub's tea, he's off out in the cave clearing tinkering with something he calls a "wheel".....?

TableFlowerss · 05/02/2021 10:40

ZOMBIE THREAD from 6 years ago....

Cailleach1 · 03/03/2021 23:02

@Blacklight Thankfully the internet is a wonderful place unlike the real world.

What a sad sentence. I hope you (and everyone else) do get to enjoy some of the wonderful things living in this world has to offer. Also realise that we do not have a lease on life so we should start enjoying it here and now, while we can. Even little things and interactions can bring much joy.

Cailleach1 · 03/03/2021 23:03

Gah!

Blades2 · 27/03/2025 18:59

Oh yay, a kind hearted young man has come to explain everything to us.
That’s just what we needed!

EmpressOfJurisfiction · 27/03/2025 19:36

@Blades2, did you notice that this thread is 10 years old? He’s a bit less young now.

NotVeryFunny · 27/03/2025 21:33

Blacklight · 12/02/2015 22:33

@TheFirstOfHerName

Sure

I love how someone purporting to be the font of all internet knowledge, doesn’t seem to know how to use the quote function on MN. Your answers are pointless as no one knows what you are replying to without scrolling back through all the posts to find the one (or more) by that name. If you are going to pretend to be an expert, then at least show you know how to use the site you are on.

PS I was using computers before you were born, I’ve grown up with them and know how to use them and the internet. Why do you assume you need to come on here to mansplain the internet to the MN demographic you obviously have in your head (presumably ancient Luddites?).