I am everything you hate about people on the internet. I am here to help.

[Blacklight]

I am male, mid 20's and grew up with this technology.
Wondering what something means?
Wondering how to do something?
Wondering how your kids did something?
Wondering if you should let your kids do something?

Ugh, you can't stop me from hoovering with my Dyson.

Poor little fella. All he was expecting was a lot of women exclaiming 'a fresh one! Come, let us rub our virtual maternal breasts upon him!' And he got this

Fucking hilarious

He didn't genuinely want to help, ilovereading. He posted a link to a cyber bullying page with a comment something like "All that you hate on the Internet is YOU. Thanks for participating." He wound us up on purpose and we were meant to react with hand-wringing horror at the Big Reveal

(sorry posted too soon)
Big Reveal of our evil bullying natures.

He'll appear on the buzzfeed comments, soon.

Or maybe he's already there

Loving this thread - another vote for it to go in classics.

Now I do think you've all been very mean to this nice young man.

I came here hoping that he would be able to help me with this darn-dangled t'interweb thingy, because without a penis I can't plug it in, and you've all gone and bullied him away.

I have got some good tips though

hands you an internet

I actually weirdly enjoy dysonoovering. It's... I want to say 'therapeutic', but I think I mean 'necessary'.

Ah, there's someone on Buzzfeed suggesting that maybe the OP didn't realise he was being patronising because "a lot of people who work in IT are on the autism spectrum as well".

Googling on Bing!

Wowzers. Language development is amazing.

I, too, Hoover with my Dyson. Like once a month when I'm not busy eating cake or whatever.

Well that's just insulting to people with ASDs...my DS has AS, we've had some great discussions about sexism and IT and how it can lead to things like gamergate.

Now my DS does think he's superior to many people, but not because he has a penis, but because he values rationality over anything else and that OP was not rational.

I dyson with my Hoover

Whether the OP is on the spectrum or had diabetes or a cat hair allergy makes no difference to how condescending his first post was.

I know. Trust me, there are offended people chez Tilly.

We'd all learnt not to be that patronising on the internet by accident well before our "mid-twenties".

I once met the "Chief Envisioner" of Bing.

I tried Bing out as a homepage, and I couldn't stand its search quality after becoming accustomed to Google.

Chief envisioner? Rofl, imagine having that on your business cards...

He matched his truly poncetastic job title. Jeans, sports jacket, ponytail, trendy glasses.

During his conference presentation someone I cannot possibly comment who started a twitter conversation about the total lack of images of women in his snazzy, bouncy PowerPoint. The man was not best pleased that his vision of the future of technology was reduced to a conversation about what a sexist wanker he was.

I want to be 'Chief Envisioner'!

Sounds fab.
I even have a pony tail too

you are all so advanced

can I still use these?

Hi Empress, didn't know about that link, so sadly it looks as if OP hasn't made enough progress to deserve my sympathy after all.

Wow, Dad, that onion icon thing is worth knowing about. Now THAT'S some useful new (to me) info that's come out of all this.

Googling on Bing!

I remember the term googled being discouraged (that bridge is truly and well passed) in Newscientist because Google would sue.

I do have a question about buying a laptop

Honestly I do...where is best to post it?

Pretty please