AIBU to think that comprehension just isn't a strong point with some people.

[AngelsOnHigh]

I've noticed this quite a lot over the time I have on MN.

Referring to a recent thread re early retirement. The poster quite clearly stated that DH wanted to retire in 14 months (when mortgage paid) and wanted her to retire at the same time. She is 10 years his junior and works part time.

OK, first answer was "So he wants you both to retire in early forties"

Second response "Can you change to part time work"

I can understand this if we were 10 pages into the thread because we don't all have time to read all responses, but come on, the first two responses?

OP: I'm worried DC is being bullied at school

Responses:

• I can't believe that stealth boast, your DC goes to school

-How did you get a school place? You've deprived someone else more deserving -Have you considered home educating? You just need to be able to give up work, it's really easy -Teachers work long hours and can't be expected to deal with issues like that, don't be so entitled!

springlamb would HAVE.

Apologies, I haven't read the rest of the thread, but I think OP was winding us up.

Reported.

The DC's are playing COD a board game, DH is watching porn the test match and I'm on mumsnet with the dog at my feet.

Spat gin all over my keyboard!

Op have you considered giving the old folks some pom bears? It may help.

I showed the OP to my husband and he says this should in classics. Natch.

I have a glut too OP. I'm making chutney with it and giving it as Christmas gifts. Just pop a bit of seasonal ribbon round the neck of the jar with a handwritten brown tag... looks fab!

My mil kissed my baby today. Fucking controlling bitch.

I suspect she has also purchased a breast pump, for herself.

Hope you are okay OP? xxx

awaiting further salacious updates

Go NC.

With your entire family.

And eveyone else you know.

I haven't read the whole thread because clearly I am the only person who had the vision to suggest that you shop at Lidl even though the thread is 10 pages long, the op has already explained there is no Lidl in 50 miles and she doesn't drive.

Oh my god I just spat wine all over my keyboard and woke the baby and the dog that lives 3 streets away. This is the funniest thread I have ever read in my life ever

Yes you are very u to be asking about putting your heating on in September. Some people cannot afford central hearing. Why would you make them feel bad? Is that a stealth boast about central heating? Well? Is it?

Any update OP?

Has Any Fucker been along yet?

YABU to post this in AIBU. Someone from knitting will be along soon with better advice than me though.

Why are you wasting time asking a bunch of randoms on the internet? Take him to A&E now!

He's telling you who he is. Listen.

I have a huge spot. Shall I squeeze it or leave it?

Is it in your T Zone?

Reported.

That's a massive red flag OP. Get out now, while you still can.

NO! NOT SAUSAGES! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL THEM ALL?!