Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

[TonytheFish]

20 years later, this still makes me wonder why I was such an odd child!

I was a bit shy granted, but still...

In 2nd year seniors, start of the new school year, new art class and teacher, everyone gets in and sits down at new desks, I was the last one in...and my spot at the table had no chair!

So, did I mention to the teacher that there was no chair! nope.

What I did, was sort of crouch down, into some fake sitting position and stay there for the entire double period! Pretending to sit! As if no one would notice...!

It is this sort of thing, that means I will never ever attend a school reunion!

[LilysSummerBreeze]

My neighbours kid was weird too. Shes six years younger than me and is relatively normal now but a few things I remember her doing as a child;

Glueing all her mums light swithes into the on position. This was hilarious. I heard her mum shouting "what the fuck" from my bedroom.

She used to tell me stories about freddie kruger in the bath with a duck on his head.

When she was 11 she took a dislike to her sisters boyfriend. Admittedly he was a bit of a twat. But she properly hated him. He tried to start a play fight with her one day and she said "as if youd get me on the floor" stood up. Dropped him with a lunh and kicked him in the balls as he went down and calmly left the room.

Her kitten shit behind something and he told her and she insisted it hadnt. When she discovered the shit she picked it up and threw it in his face.

She hid in a cupboard for six hours. Her mum had the police out. They were NOT impressed when they heard giggles and found her in there under the laundry.

She cut her fringe off completely and then walked around like kenny from south park for months.

Her lovebird escaped so she sent the other one to find it!

[LilysSummerBreeze]

Punch not lunh even!

[GoodZingWenceslass]

covered my hair in mayo to make it "healthier"

I washed it several times afterwards but my hair stank for days. bleurgh

[chancer2014]

We used to chew up bits of toilet roll, leave them on the bedroom windowsill to dry lovely and hard. We'd wait for ages until a bald man passed by the house. Then, furtively slide one of the long, hollow Wendy House sticks out of the window and blow hard. We got really good at hitting our targets. And very fast at ducking out of sight when the poor sod turned around, wondering wtf was that?!

[TinkerTailorSoldierSpy]

attemped to pierce a fellow boarders ears one night when we were about 12... Without her permission. She had said she wanted it done but was too scared, so thought I could just numb her ear when she was asleep then jam a needle through without her knowing... She screamed the place down (obviously) and I told matron that I was sleep walking. And they believed me. Because who would be that insane to do that whilst awake?

[Nodney]

I once invited about ten friends to a "cinema evening" in my bedroom because my dad had given me the old VHS video player and I was excited. I wrote out tickets too. I didn't think to tell my parents until they each rolled up with their ticket. My bedroom was a tiny box room 5 foot square!

[Undertone]

A friend and I begged off sports day once and spent the time hiding in the bushes smelling (sticking noses right inside and inhaling with some force) the insides of dozens of used party poppers to see if it made us high. Actually it made us sick.

I decided one day at primary school (probably about age 6 or 7) we were going to have an American football tournament. I held up a home made poster in the playground for the whole of lunchtime to advertise it, and after lunch I made all my class get into their PE kits until the teacher came in and asked what the hell was going on. So cringe: I had to explain while just in my pants because I was in the process of getting changed too. Btw I know nothing about American football.

This will out me if anyone on here was at my school: for years a friend was obsessed with a male character in a bbc costume drama: Ioan Gruffudd in Tom Jones. She initiated a 'correspondence network' where we all wrote 18th-century style letters to each other (using 'old' looking paper, fake wax seals, calligraphy pens - but also making do with foolscap and biro if the message was URGENT) - all the letters were about were accusing each other of crushes on the male teachers and trying to start rumours that one of use was pregnant. This went on for MONTHS. I have a shoebox full of the letters still. They are totally mad. I never even watched Tom Jones. We were all 14 at the time.

So many more.

[Puddingsandpiglets]

Ghostbusters had not long been out. I emptied a bottle of green bubble bath over all the furniture in dsis room, and pretended it had been slimed. Incredibly my mum knew it was me, probably tipped of by the fact that a) it stank of pine b) slimer didn't exist and c) I'd been playing ghostbusters for weeks

[dingdongdonna]

Sooo many of these...

At about age 11 the next door neighbour's daughter and I had a delusion that we would make loads of money by sticking a CD player out of the window towards our street and blaring out Aqua's album "Aquarium" and then charging people to come and have an aerobics class in the street, taught by two pre-teens.

Around the same age, I was convinced that I was going to form a duo pop group with my best friend. I'd decided we were going to be called Dynamite and even practised signing my name for pictures and Smash Hits style autographs as "Donna, Dynamite x" Never told friend this!

I once wrote a letter to Smash Hits asking them why Hanson's hair was so girly. Though I don't think I really understood the postal system because I didn't put it in an envelope or put a stamp on it. the postman must have laughed a LOT.

For most of my childhood, I was a complete tomboy - wouldn't wear a skirt or a dress at all. Think it stemmed from my mothers desire to force me and my younger sister to dress the same in our early years. Anyway... one day I decided that I would prefer to be more girly and the way in which I would do this was to curl my hair. I got one of those giant round brushes that you use to blowdry hair and promptly curled a large section of the front of my hair round it. It got stuck and my nan had to cut it out, leaving e with the most ridiculous tiny portion of fringe on the right side for about 6 months.

Could go on all day...

[TedAndLola]

Pages and pages ago, somebody asked if anybody else pretended to be pregnant in late primary school. I went a step further, and tried to impress the new girl in Year 6 (we were 10) by claiming I'd had a baby which had been given up for adoption.

The only problem was, the girls then started asking me what sex was like. Was I vague? Oh no. I could give very specific details, thanks to an innocent feature on BBC News a few years before. The news story was, I think, about freezing sperm. I was listening to it but not watching. When I did look up at the screen, the image was of a chef stirring a pot of leeks. OBVIOUSLY it had moved onto the next feature, but for many years I thought that sperm looked like leeks.

So there's me telling a group of fascinated ten year olds that my boyfriend put his thing in me and a "long green vegetable" shot out and made a baby.

I just thank the stars that none of them told their parents or a teacher, I can't imagine the embarrassment.

[VixxFace]

Pmsl @ giving your baby up for adoption. I actually giggled.

[Fadingmemory]

I did puppet shows too and once stapled my finger when invited to my older cousin's office. Waving to CrazyOldCatLady. Result! Lot of blood and lots of attention!

[flowerpowerspiceknicks]

These are brilliant - Laughed so much, can't believe I only discovered mumsnet a few weeks ago. I remember sticking my finger in a light bulb socket just to see what it felt like..it hurt. Also I ate my dads entire box of 'special' fudge he,d received for his birthday and left him a little note inside saying thankyou from the 'sweet tooth fairy' ...he went ballistic and surprisingly knew it was me straight away

[MalletsMallet]

This thread got me into trouble last night! I was silent laughing and making the bed shake so much it woke DP

I was a complete weirdo growing up.

YY to making perfume by putting rose petals in water. Also, me and DSis used to save orange peels and put them in the airing cupboard to dry. Once they were rock solid we would paint them with nail varnish and try to sell them as jewellery.

Age 12 I decided I wanted a fringe so cut one in. The only problem was I'd forgotten that fringes start from the top of your head, I just brushed down a thin layer at the front and snipped it resulting in a 2cm long strip of hair framing my face! I looked ridiculous and racking my brains I came up with a clever plan...I shaved the front of my head I have very dark hair so was left with blue/grey stubble in a circle on top of my forehead!! DD has recently done the same (12) because she wanted to get rid of some bum-fluff....obviously great minds think alike!!

After starting my periods, again aged 12, I felt too embarrassed to put any soiled knickers in the wash so I hid them in the back of my drawer. One day I was coming back home from the shops and noticed things hanging from my neighbours tree. As I got closer I noticed it was all of my dirty knickers My sister and her friend had found them and were merrily throwing them out the window onto the tree IN BROAD DAYLIGHT! I was so embarrassed and they refused to collect them so they just hung there all day until the poor neighbours got home. Luckily we did not witness the removal of the knickers, they were just gone when we checked after tea. Those poor people

Me and my best friend (aged around 7) used to mix wild berries and dog poo together and take it in turn sniffing the foul concoction, I have no idea why we liked doing this. Also we would collect any white dog poo we found like it was a rare treasure and hoard it in a den we had made in a hedge.

[MalletsMallet]

One Christmas Dsis and I found a tin of quality street at the bottom of DM's wardrobe. We ate the whole lot then panicked about what we had done. We decided it would be a good thing to fill the empty tin with our dirty underwear then carefully sellotape the lid back on so it still looked sealed and place it back in the wardrobe. Needless to say DM was 'quite upset' when she opened them on christmas eve

[ampersandand]

When I was about 10, I was too scared to go to the bathroom for a wee one night so I weed into my bin. DM was not impressed.

Around the same age me and a friend decided we should make fake dog poo out of mud and we placed the 'poos' all over the road and pavements. Her mum came out and made us clear it up and called us disgusting!

[TheDietStartsTomorrow]

My parents bought a huge box of expensive gift cards... I cant remember the occasion but when bored one day, I opened them all up and wrote 'to TheDiet from TheDiet' on about 70 of them. I didn't even get creative and use various names...I wrote all of them to me from me. My parents were so upset and surprised I'd do something so daft and wasteful that they couldn't find it in themselves to even tell me off.

[Pastaface]

I used to ring sexline from the school payphone on a weekly basis. Every time, I would order a pizza with a 'big sausage' on it in a terrible broad scottish accent. They never did see the funny side...

[Dodagank]

I was so well behaved throughout school that I only ever got told off less than a handful of times. So god knows why I did this. I was around 8 years old and was running around the school playing field with my coat tied round my shoulders, pretending to be a superhero. I then spotted a piece of wood next to some dog poo and for some strange reason I thought it would be a great idea to use the wood to flip the poo up into the air. And I found more poo so I flipped that one even higher. I kept going and going until a flying turd fell into a girls lap as she was sat cross legged on the grass. Still mortified now!

[Thankyoumrspatterson]

This made me cry with laughter!

[flightywoman]

Possibly my favourite thread!

The poetry. Oh GOD, the terrible terrible poetry that I was convinced was deep and meaningful. Well, of course I did, I was 15.

I started a diary when I was 15 and still have it. I don't write it very often if at all, but at times I was an avid scribbler and it's all still there. I would share but it is so wincingly bad I don't think I can!

When I was junior school a bunch of us decided to hide in a stationery cupboard for the whole lesson. Don't know why. We got the rest of the class to make noises every so often so we could move about a bit. I have no idea whether our teacher knew or not.

I played sevens - a ball game - against the wall underneath a broken bit of guttering and got drenched. On purpose. No idea why.

I sent a card from holiday to a boy I liked, with I love you written on it. In LATIN. Lord, I nearly died of embarrassment about that.

And oh my goodness, I remember when I was about 7 or 8 me and my friends were convinced we were all pregnant (WTAF?!) and that if you held your breath you could hear the baby's heartbeat.

I also got 'married' when I was 7, to a boy who lived a few doors down from us, his sister performed the ceremony and I had a little silver ring my dad had given me. That was quite bizarre.

[peanutbutterobsessed]

Oh god I have so many. I was a seriously weird child.

When I was in year 6 of primary school I convinced a group of my classmates to take part in a Spice Girls concert for charity. This involved us dressing up as the eponymous Spice Girls and dancing/miming along to a medley of their songs, as well as doing sketches and generally pratting about. For some reason all the adults in our lives thought this was genuinely a brilliant idea - my mum hired a dance teacher for a morning to teach us some routines, and when we took the idea to the head teacher, he CANCELLED AN AFTERNOON OF LESSONS in order for us to perform in front of the entire school! At the end, we then all left the hall wearing sunglasses and paid a few of the younger kids to ask us for our autographs

Ended up raising the princely sum of £52 for Mozambique

Once when I was about 4 or 5, I went round with my mum's nail scissors and cut v-shaped holes in anything I could find. This included curtains, her dressing gown, several of her tops and one of my dad's expensive suits When my mum asked why I'd done it, I said "I wanted to know what it felt like"

I also used to boss all my next door neighbours around (they were all younger than me) and make them watch me poo in the bushes in the field opposite our houses. I'm still friends with one of them and I often wonder why she put up with me for so long!

Also, when my mum was little (about 3 or 4) she had an imaginary friend called Oncrust. To this day, no one has any idea why or where she got the name from