You daft apeth

[Kasterborous]

No, not you but I heard this phrase yesterday and haven't heard it for ages. We used to say it when anyone had done something daft, but in a lighthearted way.

Another old favourite is 'crosspatch' as in 'don't be a crosspatch' when someone is being -well - cross.

MrsDV

'It fits where it touches' - basically means it's too small. On a child they've just outgrown it, but on an adult can also mean it's 'tarty' (ie too short/too much boobage on show!). Context is everything!

'She's no better than she ought to be' - basically means either 'it's what you'd expect from the likes of her' or 'she's not as 'posh' as she would like to think she is'

I think a good 80% of them were used when I was a child and I probably use 75% of them now Though I have to say it has been so long since I have heard the ones relating to Arabs I'd forgotten about them - they sound pretty shocking these days!

I tell DS to "Think on" periodically!

"well I'll go to the foot of our stairs", it's been a while since I've heard many of the above. I don't get up north much any more and miss hearing "mithering" and "skrieking" (sp?). I was at my friends' house recently and had good cause to say to their 22yo DD, "Trunky wanna bun?" My mates near pissed themselves while DD looked at us like we were from space. I thought it was still commonly used but apparently not among our yoof.

So many of these are familiar esp. 'The wind'll change' if you were making a face, 'born in a barn', 'guts for garters' . What about 'don't know you're born' if you complained about something. 'Better out than in' if you farted. 'He who smelt it dealt it' if you said someone else had farted (no honestly we weren't obsessed)

My mum had an odd one which I insist on continuing for my children....

"You know what thought did; thought he had shit himself and he hadn't"

I may substitute poo for shit and I have no real concept of the logic behind it, but I love it and like to carry it on

I use dragged through a hedge backwards all the time too.

Daft apeth is a popular one in this house too.

I'll go t'foot of our stairs was one of my mum's. Along with mither and missle (damp fine rain). She swore with the expression 'rats and barnacles'(outed myself here). My gran used 'doings' when she couldn't remember the word- like whatsit or thingumy.
my dc are called ratbags and I've just rediscovered the word wally. We also use pickle as a minor problem or jam as in 'are you in a pickle?' All around the wrekin is a fabulous expression although I heard it more when living near Stoke on trent than living in Shropshire.

Dd uses 'I aren't' which again I first came across in stoke. Similarly the Stoke going to places. They never go to places in the potteries. They go shop, go town, go school... but they ado list'lways go up Hanley. This is why I now have a '

Moggins for breasts
Kecks for trousers
Shimmy for t shirt
Someone is mithered here too (Yorkshire mother). If you don't know the pronunciation its mythered. With a y not an i.

Insults are:

Ratbum
Poodleface

Daft wassock. DP called DS1 a daft wassock & he just stared at him uncomprehendingly

Knockers for boobs you don't here much nowadays.

HEAR ffs.

Are you from North Wales sazzle82? I recognise everything you have said. My cousins say nai and they're from Holywell. I say 'seen your arse' all the time and get blank looks in Yorkshire. My mum always says 'stop moidering me' DH always repeats it in a New York accent.

Loving these , so many I'd forgotten about

We used to have 'choke up chicken - you might find a gold watch'.

Other sayings by my father included - 'black as the ace of spades', 'open your lugholes' (if we weren't listening). My dad used to wake me up in the morning with the expression, 'can't sleep here Jack. Town hall steps'. God knows where that came from (could have been when he ran away from home and slept rough during the war).

There are loads more that I can't remember or repeat for fear of arrest

Diddi - we had 'rushing around like a fart in a colander', too. Never heard it anywhere else.

Also, when an aunt, better off than the rest of the family, found a necklace in a bag of potatoes, "The Devil shits on the biggest muckheap." The connection between dirt and money, 'filthy lucre', is almost Dickensian.

Kippers and curtains - style over substance. You had curtains so it looked as if you were a cut above, but lived on kippers, which were cheap eats.

Wally reminded me that you don't hear jessie anymore either. If me or my brothers made an (unnecessary) fuss as kids we'd be called "you big girls blouse" by our dad. Boobs? A mate of mine when in our 20's called them "scrunch cushions". Don't think that was a 'saying' though,,, just him.

When someone was cheating at a game we used to say 'you cheating Arab' pronounced A-rab. , certainly wouldn't use that one anymore.

Chipping - round our way 'she's no better than she ought to be' was a lot more bosom-hoicking than 'she thinks she's posh but she isn't' - it was basically calling someone a tart without actually saying it. I am sure that my mother would refer to Miley Cyrus and assorted scantily-clad slebs as being 'no better than she ought to be'

Gie ma heid peace - 'will everyone just shut up for a minute!'. Funnily enough I use this a lot these days.

Their cat ran up our entry.......When talking about a family who were related but not closely.

He/she's got a face like a slapped arse.......not very happy.

You could ride bare arsed to China on that...When a knife or scissors were not very sharp.

Mutton dressed as lamb....Mother trying to dress/look like her teenage daughter and failing.

Queer as a nine bob (shilling) note......There was no such thing as a nine bob note. It was a 10 shilling note.

Apples where there's orchards. When someone better off won anything.

Blood and sand. Said instead of bloody hell.

Don't get many of them to the lb. Meaning someone had big boobs usually.

Bread rolls are breadcakes.
Teacakes are sweet with currants in.
Baps are boobs!

My grandad used to say 'down the bamboo shoot' to get us to eat up.

Spice means sweets.

Pog means your seat.

Gloryhole is a pantry or cupboard inside and coalhole is an outdoor shed or building.

SDTG my grandmother used to say skybluepink with a finny haddy border .

I called DD a "giddy kipper' just the other day TigerTrumpet

YY to spice for sweets 'gis a spice'

Someone upthread mentioned Berk.... rhyming slang for cunt. (Berkshire Hunt) I prefer berk, and am going to do my utmost to single handedly restore it's popularity! :)

My gran used to use pooseyfrumpture, as in "Mrs Smith was round yesterday, with all her pooseyfrumpture" (Mrs Smith was a bit of a Hyacinth Bucket type) so pooseyfrumpture meant, I imagine, assumed airs and graces.

I strongly suspect my gran made the word up, as I have never, ever, heard another soul say it outside of my family.

Keith I used to call people berks as a child! Had no idea until I just read your post what it meant! It was a playground insult.

Swings & roundabouts - you go up & down & you go round & round

No use to man nor beast - still use it!

Sky blue pink with yellow dots on

you look like a bag o' muck tied up ugly.