You daft apeth

[Kasterborous]

No, not you but I heard this phrase yesterday and haven't heard it for ages. We used to say it when anyone had done something daft, but in a lighthearted way.

Another old favourite is 'crosspatch' as in 'don't be a crosspatch' when someone is being -well - cross.

If we left lights switched on in empty rooms, my Dad would go round turning them off and chanting "have mercy on the man who pays the bills!"

Paul O'Grady came out with a classic on the Telly yesterday "Leaky as a glass blower's arse"

bracket means nose.

We also used to say "It gets right up my bracket"

rhyming slang perhaps? Bracket and . . . urm . . .

Spotty Muldoon isn't from the Goon Show is it? Or am I confusing it with the Dreaded Lurgy?

Pardon Mrs Harden, there's a pig in your back garden!

Who's "she", the cat's mother? (when you referred to a woman as she, rather than her name)

Cheese please, Louise.

Shut up and give your arse a chance!

You give my arse headache.

Couldn't catch a pig in an alley (bow-legged person)

Fur coat, no knickers.

What's that, scotch mist?! (or chopped liver, for variation!) - i use this A LOT with my son who can never find anything!

Oh yes 'cheese please Louise' we say that to DD a lot!

My MIL always says 'upsy Daisy, downs a buttercup' if DD falls over.

Red hat, no knickers!
No better than she ought to be!
A sandwich short of a picnic!

Anyone know why my mum called a hat a kaydee?
She is long since dead so I cant ask but her dad was a docker in Southampton, her mum jewish and when GP died the family moved so nan could work in Woolwich arsenal.
Could be yiddish, army or naval slang. Probably spelt wrong but I've googles and cant find anything.....

KD (used to be) Khaki Drill, a pale brown cotton fabric used by the Army. So surplus stores sold e.g. KD shorts ( left over from service in North Africa or other hot dry places)

"Rabbit" is from "Rabbit and Pork" (talk)
In London (perhaps elsewhere) butchers in poor districts didn't carry beef or mutton from farms, but cheap local meat, and there were Rabbit and Pork butchers.

My grandad used to say 'I'll go to our house' rather than to the foot of our stairs.
I love these sayings, I'm from Yorkshire, and use lots of them. It's my cultural heritage!

Useful as a chocolate fire guard/teapot

Built like a brick shit house

daft as a brush/box of frogs

..thanks OP will be obsessing about this now

I'd forgotten about 'built like a brick shit house' love that one

DH says 'mad as a box of frogs', I'd never heard it until then.

Like your nn thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter is it from Father Ted? I'm the OP by the way, I name changed.

I heard a new word from my Yorkshire grandma this weekend & thought of this thread

DS2 (4 yo & healthy weight) eats whenever he can, he's always on the lookout for crisps/biscuits/sweets/chocolates that I don't tend to have at home but Yorkshire Grandma has them in ceramic bowls dotted around the surfaces. So he asked for some crisps & had a couple, then he had a peanut or 2, then he had 2 biscuits then he asked for some chocolate & YG turned to me with a startled look & said 'blimey, he's a little grompher isn't he!'

What a great word! & it describes him perfectly! It can also be used as a verb eg he is gromphing all the Roses!

PMSL at these. My mum also used to go on about 'the wild woman of Borneo' and 'you're like a fart in a colander', thought they were figments of her imagination!

Also: 'you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fireplace' (why men do the dirty with ugly women...) and 'she'd say anything but her prayers' (for liars/women of ill repute).

From colleagues: 'it's like knitting fog!' (when something/someone was exasperating) and 'I could eat a buttered frog' (when very hungry).

Like herding cats - impossible task

Anyone else ever heard this expression that my mum used to say:
‘Mother’s leg in half a stocking’ ?