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Original poster

You daft apeth

416 replies

Kasterborous · 30/10/2013 08:50

No, not you but I heard this phrase yesterday and haven't heard it for ages. We used to say it when anyone had done something daft, but in a lighthearted way.

Another old favourite is 'crosspatch' as in 'don't be a crosspatch' when someone is being -well - cross.

OP posts:
CuttedUpPear · 31/10/2013 01:43

Ah I love the 'daft apath' phrase.
I used to get called it all the time when I was little (in Brum).

I used to think it was somehow monkey-related (as in ape).
It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I worked it out Blush

GemmaTeller · 31/10/2013 08:31

1944girl
We used to say '...must have had a long paper round' referring to someone who looked haggard or older than their years.

DH says 'I could murder a cup of tea and have strong words with its brother'

pearlgirl · 31/10/2013 08:37

Just reading the title made me think of my dad and smile - he used to say it all the time affectionately- if he was cross then we were blithering idiots.

YerDaftApeth · 31/10/2013 09:24

Calling someone 'mouldiwarp' but I'm reading a book at the moment around King Henry VIII reign and there is other theory that calls him the mouldwarp I think it was mouldwarp not got my book on hand to check but it's something very like that. So wonder if that's were it comes from.

BalloonSlayer · 31/10/2013 09:41

I just LOVE DH says 'I could murder a cup of tea and have strong words with its brother'

Grin Grin Grin

Knotter · 31/10/2013 10:54

'It's a bit black over Bill's mother's' - always wondered about the origin of this! My Mum used this and her Mum, also Wreck of the Hesperus and Wild woman of Borneo. Also my Mum always calls bad drivers 'merchants' - what's this merchant doing? (Cockney - merchant banker = wanker!)

LemonMousse · 31/10/2013 12:15

If anyone asked my Gran how old she was she'd say "I'm as old as me little finger and a little bit older than me teeth"

diddl · 31/10/2013 12:28

As old as my tongue & a little bit older than my teeth we used to say.

Also, a friend of my dad's-him & her both slim-"you can't fatten a thoroughbred"

stubbornstains · 31/10/2013 12:37

Going to see a man about a dog: I remember my mum saying this when I was about 6, and being devastated when I got back from school not to find a puppy Sad.

I want to know if there is a euphemism for the sexual act that could possibly be more romantic than....

Banging away like a shithouse door on a Grimsby trawler Grin

KissesBreakingWave · 31/10/2013 13:46

I could bite the arse out of a low-flyin' duck. Me belly thinks me throat's cut.

DatsunCogs · 31/10/2013 14:04

Love this thread! My Nan used to say 'you're as artful as a wagonload of monkeys'. I still try to use it!

KissesBreakingWave · 31/10/2013 14:26

Was she implying you're as daft as a hat full of arseholes?

DatsunCogs · 31/10/2013 14:44

She mainly used it when I cheated at monopoly...
My mum says 'sweet Fanny Adams' when she means 'nothing at all'

hollyisalovelyname · 31/10/2013 15:21

When a child is the image of his/ her Mum 'like she spat him/ her out of her mouth'
'Well she didn't lick it off the ground' - her Mum/ Dad/ Family behaved the same way.
'Wouldn't give you the steam off his p*ss' - a very mean person.
' a right gobaluuter'' - an eejit

Doinmummy · 31/10/2013 15:34

My dad says ' Money and fair words' when you ask him how much something cost.

Also 'looks like the cats died' if trousers are too short.

Up 'ere for thinking (tap head) down 'ere for dancing' (point to feet)

TheConstantLurker · 31/10/2013 16:01

Scone-faced, doughy and slightly gormless.
Sweety wifie, a gossip with a sickly sweet way about her.
Arse like the back end of a bus.
Targe, a naughty, spirited child.

babe2be · 31/10/2013 16:05

My mum and Nan said these types of things all the time! Wow, this thread takes me back.
'If xyz stuck their head in an oven would you'? - i.e. would you copy everything xyz does even if it's stupid?
Having a chinwag - having a talk/natter
'I'll give you something to cry about in a minute' - if they thought you were crying needlessly
Up the wooden hill to bedfordshire - said to us to as we were going upstairs to bed
'A little bird told me' - a way of someone telling you that they know about xyz
'a word in your shell like' - a word in your ear, i.e. can I have a word
'look like you've/i've been dragged through a hedge backwards' - look a mess
goes like billy-o/like the clappers - go quickly

babe2be · 31/10/2013 16:32

ooh just thought of some more
'sod that for a game of soldiers' - i.e no way am I doing that!
'Scotch mist' - in answer to a question such as 'what's that'?

YerDaftApeth · 31/10/2013 16:45

Oh yes to the 'if xyz' but it was if they 'jumped of a cliff' with us.

Orangeanddemons · 31/10/2013 16:58

You've got rice to come....meaning what you want will never happen
As much use as a handbrake in a canoe...useless person
Was tha born in a barn.....kindly shut the door
Them that asks don't get, and them that don't ask don't want...always said to me when I wanted an ice cream

Orangeanddemons · 31/10/2013 17:00

Also

Fair clemmed and spitting feathers for thirsty

babe2be · 31/10/2013 17:07

YerDaft - It seemed to be interchangeable with the cliff saying too (you saying that has just reminded me), half the time it was the oven and half the time it was the cliff :)

onetiredmummy · 31/10/2013 18:38

Sweet Fanny Adams - isn't that the polite version of sweet fuck all? As in nothing.

Sweet F A also used.

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes · 31/10/2013 19:20

Sweet Fanny Adams was a real person, a young girl, murdered by a local man in Hampshire and dismembered. Her name became slang for stew, and then gradually assumed the meaning we know of worthless, nothing at all.

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes · 31/10/2013 19:22

This was about 150 years ago BTW.