Strangest complaint you've ever received

[bdbfan]

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

Our IT department were complained about en masse because they said they were unable to fix a kettle. The strange thing is, the IT bod in question had been a little sarcastic.

IT: We can't fix your kettle
User: But it's electric. That's what you do, right?
IT: So is Bob's pacemaker but if anything went wrong with it, we'd sooner he saw a heart surgeon than come down to IT

The complaint was still that all IT refuse to do their jobs, rather than the sarcasm.

I once had someone write in and complain that I'd hung up on them during an awkward work conversation about regulatory stuff where I was delivering a message they really didn't want to hear.

They'd got pissed off and hung up on me.

Also, this is third hand but I assure you it happened: someone made a formal complaint to a nursery when they collected their child and found a piece of dry penne pasta clutched in their hand. They said the nursery was being reckless allowing children to do craft activities with dangerously sharp pasta shapes.

I work in a complaints department and have had loads of bonkers stuff over the years.

We had a customer complain we had changed the registration of his car to our name. Why he thinks we would do this I don't know. Despite us and the dvla confirming this never happened he won't believe us and thinks we are in cahoots with them.

A customer once told me my mother was a cunt because I couldn't put him through to someone who had gone home for the day.

Recently had someone complain that a member of my team was unprofessional because they wouldn't transfer his call to someone who was on the phone. When i asked how he expected to be transferred to someone who was already on another call he said he understood that but shouldn't have been told no. He then wanted to speak to a director so he could make them feel how he felt.

I used to work in a call centre for a mobile network, once in a heavy storm one of our base stations had been damaged, when I told one customer this he demanded the engineer be sent up to fix it immediately. When I explained it was considered too dangerous for the engineer to climb a mast in high winds, he said the engineer knew he'd have to face danger and risk his life when he took the job so should still be sent up! He told me he had a urgent call to make, when I pointed out he could make the urgent call from the phone he was using to speak to me he swore and slammed the phone down.

Had a complaint because we weren't open. At 3am.

Because drilling holes into the walls was making a mess. - Errrr...yeah.

Because the plaster was still wet when he touched it - the wall wasn't even finished.

Because the lights weren't working...well no. You can't rewire a house when it's LIVE and they weren't even living in it.

Because the drill was too noisy - not a lot we can do about that.

Because another electrician 15 years before hand had put in a dodgy socket...we'd been in business 6 months at that point.

Because we didn't use the existing wires that were already in the walls - the job was a rewire...because the wiring hadn't been touched in 40 years.

Because we called when we were going to be 1/2 hour late to a job thanks to a puncture.

Working in a cardiology department I took a phone call, apparently any fool could see the appointment we had sent out was for the day after his birthday.

I started a new teaching job, the previous teacher had been ill for some time so I had to do her marking. I pointed out one assignment was plagarised and put the web page it had been cut and pasted from. Apparently this was me being racist. I had never met the student. The student's name was something like John Smith so not typical of any particular ethnic group and anyway, they had cheated.

Cafe, have had complaints on the same day that the cappuccino was either 'all froth and no coffee' or 'not a proper cappuccino because there was too much coffee and not enough froth.' The second from the boss who was something of a wanker a coffee aficionado and obviously didn't believe that the customer knew best.

In a bar, 'There's cabbage in my salad.' It was from a pre-bagged salad mix (controversial) and was a bit of chunk red lettuce .

I love these! Anyone else feel a bit sorry for the poster who originally said people complained cos the films are too loud?!

(whilst thinking yes some films are indeed played too loud)

working as a retail manager I was serving a customer at the till point. member of staff asked for help merchandising, I said just let me finish with customer i'll be right over. She stormed off the shop floor into my managers office and complained I wasn't giving her enough support

I've also had to deal with a customer who was furious I wouldn't refund an item of clothing that was too big for her baby as she had washed it. My suggestion of keeping it till he grew into it was ridiculous apparently, and every one knows clothes should be washed before you even show them to a baby. She stormed out of the shop saying she would NEVER shop with us again.

I work in an opticians and frequently get shouted at by patients who aren't entitled to NHS sight tests but think they should be. One particularly lovely lady shouted at me all the way through her son's eye test because he wasn't entitled to an NHS one (he was 17 and not in ft education). Apparently he's too young to claim other benefits so it should be covered by the NHS, I explained we don't make the rules, just follow them but she just kept on and on. I told her to write to her mp in the end I think.

One of my colleagues had a written complaint once; the patient had dropped her contact lens in the bin and my colleague wouldn't let her fish it out and put it in her eye!

doublelife- maybe my ears have become desensitised to the noise

I would have seen her point if it was a guns and cars action movie but it wasn't it was 'my sisters keeper' haha

I work in a pet shop.

The two most ridiculous things I can think of [at the moment] are:

1. There is a dog in the office. Yes. He's my dog. You didn't even realise he was there until I walked by with him so he could have a wee.

1. I wouldn't sell a customer a coupler (which is a lead extention to allow you to walk 2 dogs off one lead) for one dog. They complained because I suggested they just buy a lead if they were only ever walking one dog with it.

IrisWild - I was a supervisor, I'd have been a pretty crap one to let staff (especially not fully trained ones) go ahead and make rather big, time consuming mistakes. especially when it was on days when I was in charge and any jobs not done were on my head

My mother used to work in a popular bakery known for their sausage rolls. They had a customer complaining about wasps. The manager explained that they do all they can but unfortunately it didn't help much. The customer demanded they put a notice up. The manager - tongue firmly in cheek - said he didn't think that would work because he wasn't sure if wasps could read...

My MIL was a librarian. She had someone complain about all the half blank pages in books being a waste of paper.

I had someone demand to know why I had swapped the green ride on tractor that was up on display on the back wall for a red one. She insisted it was red the week before and would not believe me when I said it had always been green. She actually said "well how would YOU know?" Erm... because it was me who put it up there, it's me that spends every bloody day here.

I'm so glad I only temp now...

ooooh, I had a great plagiary one.

Parent: 'I can't believe you're suggesting ds plagiarised his coursework. That's a very serious allegation. I think I should terminate this conversation & speak to the Head about your attitude.'
Me: 'That's fine, Mrs Fruitcake - I've already spoken to him, so he'll know what it's in connection with.'
Parent: 'Well, it's ridiculous. I work for a University you know. What plagiarism detecting software have you actually used, hmmm?'
Me: 'Google.'
Parent: 'GOOGLE!'
Me: 'Yes - it's by AA Gill. It was in the Sunday Times magazine. Your ds tells me he was so pleased with his work, he uploaded it to his blog & Gill obviously plagiarised him.'
Parent : '& can you prove that's not the case?'
Me: 'I'm reasonably confident that it isn't, unless your ds also does time travel...he'd have been seven when the article was originally published...'

This is I don't work with the public, I'd have decked someone by now!

These are great

This is why

I too would happily have told a lot of these people they they were in fact morons. Has anyone tried this technique ?

I wish I could remember half the people I had the misfortune of having to deal with when I worked. One particularly nasty customer that springs to mind is one who demanded a particular type of car for a test drive and flew into a rage when we said it wasn't available, because we didn't have every variation of every model in stock. That would be hundreds of thousands of pounds of cars sitting around, devaluing with every second, in case someone one day wanted to drive one.

We managed to locate one at another site and my colleague offered to go and collect it and give it a quick rinse off when he got it back. Customer went apoplectic again because the car wasn't sparkling clean. Well he damn well knew it had just been driven over so wasn't going to be showroom condition!

He actually threw the keys on the floor! My colleague asked the mans wife very politely if she could pick them up as he had a bad back and she did!

And we had another one who demanded any loan car he liked when his was in for its service, and he'd have that one there thank you very much. Well, no, you won't actually, because that belongs to another customer.

I will try and think of some more. What is it with some people when they have to deal with staff? Why do they turn into utter cunts?

I once had a customer request a refund for an item that was too small for her child. I asked to see receipt, all was fine so I waited for the item. And waited. Eventually I asked to see it. Her dd was wearing it. She couldn't understand why I couldn't exchange something that had been worn all day and was clearly covered in food stains. Struggled not to laugh that time.

Also had a customer ring and tell me that the shop next door played Spanish sounding "hold" music and she wanted it to be something more English. I asked her what she wanted me to do about it and she said she just wanted to make me aware and hung up on me! Bizarre.

Working in an opticians, someone complained that a colleague had shouted from one end of the practice about how to fill out an NHS form and they were embarrassed by this, assured them it didn't happen as had all worked there years and knew how to fill the form out, he stormed out. 10 minutes later he came back to apologise as it was in fact not us but a competitor across the road. (We had stood and watched him in there in between times)
Anothet one involved a locum working over several practices put his initals on orders so we knew it was him, initals MAD. Had a complaint that he was calling the pstient mad.

can this thread be moved out of chat so we don't lose it after 90 days?

The private hospital I worked in, and for some reason patients needing pacemakers

I'm an NHS patient, I don't want to be seen in a private hospital.

(even though it is the same cardiologist and local NHS cath lab is being refurbished, which is why the work is being outsourced).

You don't have any parking? But that's what we pay for. (never mind you will not be driving the day you have a pacemaker fitted)

I'm not being admitted if you only have a twin room, I always have my own room. (sorry no single rooms available, and you do NEED a pacemaker)

They put me in a room with a German (that was a written complaint to the hospital)

.

The new tenant of my mother's flat has just complained that it takes 2 flushes for his poo to go down.
Now I know what he means, someflushes are a bit weak but I don't think I would complain to letting agency and landlord re: this!
He has also complained that he can see scaffolding on opposite building, my dad had to be restrained from saying what did you expect Hanging Gardens of Babylon?!