Strangest complaint you've ever received

[bdbfan]

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

I have had classics from neighbours in all the three places I have lived in London and this spans more than 30 years.

Flat: The middle aged lady who lived two floors above me complained that I came home after she had gone to bed sometimes and my front door opening and closing disturbed her. The lady one floor above was fine. This was a London flat near a main road btw not a rural cottage in the middle of a field.

House 1: I lived at x number and started getting letters for the "neighbours" who lived at x number in the next road (our gardens backed onto each other). I used to hand deliver the letters the day they arrived with a little note. They came round very irate because the dh was self employed and my post man was delivering their letters to my house not theirs and what was I going to do about it. I remember dh finding this so hilarious he couldn't come to the door to help me out.

House 2: Our neighbours who are now late 80's complained when we moved in 20 or so years ago because I hung the washing out on Sundays. This was not Godly. They are dear souls and we look after them a bit now and 20 years ago rather than upset them, DH had a special trellis built around the umbrella line and grew climbing plants up it so as not to offend them.

The first was eccentric the second we think were bonkers and the third were/are (increasingly so) just old and set in their ways. We are moving on Friday and they are very sad and I will continue to make sure they are OK.

Ive often had the complaint that I let their children get nits, maybe they thought I kept them in the cupboard in the classroom?

I work in housing. A lady complained that every Saturday morning a group of dads would come outside and play with their children on the grass outside her house. This was noisy and inconsiderate I told her I thought it sounded lovely

There have been a few issues with a neighbour over the years, not with us personally but with other houses nearby. The best complaint was a letter threatening legal action against the people who lived behind her, because she claimed that their cats were sitting on her fence and wearing it out.

I got in trouble whilst working in a supermarket for smiling too much. Apparently, you shouldn't smile at customers as you don't know what they are going through.
As a teacher, I usually gave out reading for a Tuesday but because there was a holiday, I set it for the Wednesday. Parent complained that they couldn't do this as we were already past Wednesday. I tried to point out there would be a Wednesday next week too. She wasn't happy.
Parent who insisted that their child was removed from all religious aspects of school, wrote a letter complaining their daughter should be Mary in the Nativity as she was going to be a star one day.
Parent complained that I shouldn't be teaching the children about health and well being because I was so fat. I was 7 months pregnant, having previously been a size 10.

I called the fire brigade after seeing smoke coming out of my downstairs neighbours window - he was out. He complained to the landlord as the FB kicked his door in and broke the lock. It turned out to be a pan left on the cooker but I had no way of knowing it was relatively minor.

My ex told me recently that my "biggest problem" is that I am too nice!

I'm so glad he told me that because it clears up my wondering why he cheated on me with a grotty tart!

Who'd have thought that being kind, loving and supportive to your partner would result in them complaining that you are too nice! I really must be horrible to my next partner in the hope he won't sleep around!

dramajustfollowsme- hope you told the cheeky cow you were heavily pregnant!

I had a client who a week after I did her nails rang me to complain about a 'gap'. I go to see her and the gap is the re-growth at the cuticle area..... I explain, re-do (for free) and another week on get another call complaining about 'the gap'...... I explain (again) that nails grow continuously, make the analogy to having your hair coloured and how you get re-growth at the roots, and she basically accuses me of swindling her out of money by her needing me back on a regular basis......

She couldn't/wouldn't get it!!

killpeppa, I'm afraid I don't find your one strange either. I've been to the cinema a couple of times in recent years and found it far too loud. One local cinema in particular is ridiculous. I won't go there anymore as it was physically uncomfortable.

i once had a complaint leveled at me that the cup of tea was tea and not coffee.i went away confused and confuddled

I ran a training course recently.

The trainees were a mixed group from Asia and the Middle East, and my team who all helped with the course are from the UK, China and Belgium. The delegates were asked for feedback, which was generally very positive.

But I was roundly ticked off by one delegate for reading my presentation - in a session that was actually given by someone else. And the 2 team members from China were criticised for imperfect English. Both speak excellent, very clear English.

My friend works in a library and was telling me about an odd phone call she'd answered.

A lady had been in the library with her daughter and 1 year old granddaughter and she wanted to complain because the little reading hidey hole/tower had been removed from the children's library. She also wasn't happy about there being no toys for her baby granddaughter to play with as last time they'd visited there had been a small selection of soft toys/cubes etc which her granddaughter had played with. There was nothing for the baby to do and there had been other people in the library with their children and they were wandering aimlessly as there was nothing for the children to do.

My friend apologised, explained for hygiene reasons that toys had been removed the tower thing had gone to another library but there were colouring sheets available for children etc.

Lady still wasn't happy, turned out that she would arrive by train from another town and as the library was next to the station she'd meet her dd there so they could chat and the baby could play and not bother them. But now there was nothing for the baby to do and why didn't they provide more toys?

My friend explained that as they were a library they didn't have to provide toys explained story telling times etc but said she found it very hard not to be rude and just say "Well you could try reading her a book seeing as it's a library? or go to a playpark?"

Place marking ... This is a good read!

Two parents attending their child's nativity. We asked for a voluntary contribution towards a panto trip that followed. They said they thought the nativity wasn't good enough and asked for their £1 refund!!!

Subcontractor was at clients house to survey, asked permission to use toilet (survey took hour plus) and client said ok. Then phoned in a howling rage about it. Embarrassed, humiliated and disgusted at the lack of professionalism apparently. Eh............he is a human being too and if you didn't want him to use your toilet then why not decline his request?

Worked on an information line for the UKTV channels. A woman rang up to complain about the Two Fat Ladies because when they were making stock they had said to strain it through a sieve, a muslin or a stocking. I said it was probably a joke. Caller told me she has a food hygiene cert and this was not a laughing matter. Told me I should not allow such programmes to be made. I explained we didn't make the programme but showed old shows as repeats. Despite this she insisted that I get the Two Fat Ladies to film a piece saying don't strain stock through a stocking. She hung up when I said this wasn't possible as one of them was dead.

I had a jog which involved going round door to door. I was told off once, for ringing the door bell too loudly.

I've been screamed at for pouring the 'wrong' wine... Nope your dh ordered for you when you were in the loo and got it wrong. Duck salad was too 'ducky'. 'Seared' tuna steak wasn't cooked through. A dish named 'fillet garni', so steak with a garnish was served to a guest who didn't know what garni meant (I had already explained when taking the order as she was convinced garni was some sort of exotic animal). Steak arrives and surprise surprise, she isn't happy. Her steak doesn't taste right, it tastes like garni, not beef. She was most put out that I made her pay for it anyway! I also received a complaint for dealing with a complaint by asking, very politely, what could I do to rectify the situation and make them happy...apparently I made them feel put on the spot and uncomfortable and they didn't actually know what they wanted me to do. From what I remember they were a table arriving at 10pm on a Saturday night and were most put out that we'd sold out of our specials (dinner service starts at 6 pm) and they'd been looking forward to the specials all week ( they are updated twice daily so no way of knowing what they would be in advance). Nutters

Marking place because I've had so many I think I might just come back and post them here as I get them in my current job.

Has everybody seen notalwaysright.com/ ?

I should add I don't think I'm particularly rubbish at my job and complaint worthy or anything, I just happen to have worked for a long time in customer/client facing roles with "challenging" client groups..!

Returning from a 2 day weekend residential to other end of country with 90 year 7s...

Parent: 'Why are you back early?'
Me: 'The motorway was clear, so we made good time - we gave you an estimated return time on the letter, & said we'd get the kids to text if it was going to be earlier or later...'
Parent: 'Well, our Lauren didn't text me.'
Me: 'Oh - didn't she?'
Parent: 'No. She says her phone was out of charge.'
Me: 'Oh dear. Didn't she bring a charger? I did ring school & get them to send an automated message saying we'd be back half an hour early, though, sorry you didn't get that either...'
Parent: 'I did get that. It said 4pm & the letter you sent last week said 4.30, so I was waiting to hear from our Lauren.'
Me: 'Erm. That was sort of the point of the autotext, to let you know...oh never mind. Just as well we eventually managed to get through to you, eh.'
Parent: 'Yes, well. Lauren's had to stand here in the rain for an hour waiting for me now.'
Me: 'Lauren & I have had to do that, yes.'
Parent: 'You should probably make sure you know what you're doing, before you take another trip. Lauren says the food was rubbish, by the way'.
Lauren: '...no I didn't!...Thanks for the trip, miss'
Me: 'You're welcome, Lauren...'

brilliant thread!

Another vote for it being perfectly true that some cinemas set the volume far too high - some films are ruinned by this.

I also think that (back on page 1, two examples) colleagues who complain about someone butting in on a job they have under control are correct - even if a colleague could do with some help it is rude to butt in without checking that your help is welcome - you may have misunderstood.

drama I think we had that parent here on AIBU - a huge ranty thread from a woman disgusted that her DC was excluded from the nativity play because she had insisted on withdrawing them from religious stuff - would not accept that she was being U.

Mine:

• as a fundraiser I would, no more than once a year, send out an appeal letter to people who had a connection with the organisation. We always removed anyone from the mail list who asked to be, no quibble. Each year we would get an anonymous letter back from someone demanding that we stop bombarding them with begging letters - but as they never said who they were we were unable to comply.

Iris, that thread was utterly hilarious, wasn't it?! IIRC, someone else jumped in backing-up the OP (although there were mutterings it was the OP sock-puppeting) saying that Christmas and Easter weren't religious festivals, so the OP's DC should be allowed to be in the Nativity play

Worked for an outsourced that handled an account for an ethical clothes / goods provider. We received a letter of complaint that there were no red headed models in the (very small) catalogue. The catalogue was sent along with the letter with the models circled saying things like "no red here"