The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

[daughterofafarmer]

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

There's all sorts at picadilly circus!

Here's one from me. I was hopping off a train and chappy on platform is hesitating so asks 'where's this one going?'. I saoid 'Chigwell'. 'No,' he says, 'its Chingford'

I may have got the two muddled up, but I definately told him the made-up place in East London from Birds of a Feather with an actual place in East London (I may as well have said Atlantis).

"I didn't know they had mountains in Spain!" said by a friend as we were flying over the Pyrenees on our way to Torremolinos.

My sister was complimented on speaking good english in the states when she said that she was from scotland. This was the same trip when someone said 'oh you live on Birmingham? We have a Birmingham too. Was yours named after ours then?' Ditto Cairo. It didn't go down well when she was in the office and asked for a rubber.

NB I am sure some brits say just as dumb things to americans when they visit!

"My sister thinks that Scotland is south of Manchester, and will not be persuaded otherwise. By anyone or anything." Not even by an actual map, HairyPotter?? That is real dedication on her part!!

"A horrified and very audible wail from a certain nameless friend Alison, on a school trip to Romeo and Juliet:

'No! Don't do it! She's not dead!'

The cast had some difficulty carrying on after that.

This made me laugh out loud, Kitties - and I have a horrible cold at the moment, so I needed cheering up - thank you!

Nicname, I got that one too.

"You're from Noo Zeealand? Gosh, you speak really good English"

Yeah, like a native mate

I worked as a waitress in a posh hotel in the UK that catered for a lot of US visitors doing the grand tour.

A room full of people eating using only one hand, with the other arm down by their side did look very much like a strange contagious paralysis had afflicted the room.

DB, ex boyfriend and me discussing celebrities we didn't know we're gay- DB shocked to find out Freddie Mercury was (he leads a very sheltered life...)

DM who had been sat there quietly reading enters the conversation at this point -
'Freddie Mercury? Yes he even DIED of gayness'

I lived in the US for a year. How did I never notice this one handed eating business?

nicename neither Chigwell nor Chingford are "made up".

Er nicename Chigwell does exist! It's a few miles from Chingford, on the Central line.

My mum:
"When I was expecting your brother, it was when they were giving thalidomide for morning sickness. He's lucky I didn't need it else he'd be running around with no arms and no legs now"

Haha Chigwell does exist. My aunt lives there.

So they both exist? Real places? Oops there go my Pearly Credentials. I only lived in the east end for about ten years...

Some of these are hilarious.

Although until recently I thought Tina Turner was a man in drag

Thank you Chrome. I feel somewhat better now.

The perils of being a precocious reader and working words out for oneself

Yes. This.

Nicename being from Wales even I know there is a Chigwell and Chingford but would like to point out it's Chigley that is a made up name as in Trumpton and Camberwick Green (not to be confused with Camberwell)

to revert to the original premise of this thread

Discovered yesterday that my very sane, very lovely friend's husband queued for 2 days (and nights) for .... wait for it ......

a nursery school place.

Yes, admissions started at 9am Monday, he queued from Saturday morning. Since he was not alone (there were other crazy parents ) the nursery stayed opened and they all slept there too. Beyond bonkers. A nursery school.

Mind you, I also discovered that if I want to enrol at the local swimming pool for lessons, the queue starts at 4am when they open the year's bookings .... Properly bonkers.

'women who scream in childbirth should be ashamed, how embarrassing'

From my lovely, childfree so far, friend

I queued from about 7am to get DS into swimming lessons With a 4/5 month old baby (DS) in my arms

To be fair, he is now a brilliant swimmer (I only wanted him not to almost drown like I did when young) and a parent at school was complaining to me just last week that lessons at that pool (the only one close by) are impossible to get into and he'd been trying for 3 terms now to get her a place!! If you start with the baby class you get first dibs when it comes time to moving up and getting siblings in so it was worth it in the end.

aNutAboveTheBreast Loving your friends, especially the "drop baby on the floor" one.

"Happy Holocaust" though - good god

With a username like that, JesusInTheCabbageVan, should you have put good God?.

Now Camberwell I know (only because I went to art school there!). Please tell me Lima, Peru (where Paddington is from) is real!

JesusInTheCabbageVan, yours is one of my most favourite MN nicknames

(psst, nicename - Lima is real, but Paddington Bear isn't )