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This forum is the home of Mumsnet classic threads.

Mumsnet classics

I think my neighbours have stolen my towel

131 replies

DaleyBump · 14/09/2013 21:05

Things have been going missing from our washing line for a while. I think. There are gaps on the washing line sometimes when I go to bring my washing in but I can never remember what I've hung up so I just assume that I've just left a gap by accident.

DP has just gone to bring in our washing which consisted of a whole load of baby clothes and one towel. That's all. It was DP's favourite towel, a great big brown affair (sad, I know). It was definitely hung up but has now mysteriously disappeared from the line.

The line is shared by 4 flats (us included). I'm pretty sure it was one of our neighbours as it's an enclosed garden with no access from outside and a security door, but how the hell do I go about getting it back?!

OP posts:

Report

ZingWantsCake · 15/09/2013 00:01

daley feel free to link the one about the dog and the curry and all the licking!

ZingWantsCake · 15/09/2013 00:01

daley feel free to link the one about the dog and the curry and all the licking!

ZingWantsCake · 15/09/2013 00:01

daley feel free to link the one about the dog and the curry and all the licking!

DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 00:02

This one Zing? you seemed quite insistent

OP posts:

MagzFarqharson · 15/09/2013 00:03

ZingWantsCake · 15/09/2013 00:03

FUuuuuuuCK!

my phone is craizey!

sorry about that!

DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 00:04

Give it a lick

OP posts:

MagzFarqharson · 15/09/2013 00:05

OP, have you felt free to link the one about the dog and the curry and all the licking!

Are you ok?

DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 00:05

I'll blink once for yes, twice for no

OP posts:

ZingWantsCake · 15/09/2013 00:08

Magz

I'm shaking with laughter at your last comment!

MagzFarqharson · 15/09/2013 00:20

Thanks Zing, makes it all worthwhile!

PedantMarina · 15/09/2013 00:24

Look, OP, I know that you're slightly mollified by the return of the towel, and sidetracked by the discussions of jizz socks and spiter snuff porn, but I'm afraid you have to face up to some hard facts, sorry to be the one to tell you:

Your [D(hah!)]H is an inveterate gambler.

He lost the towel to some loan sharks (that's what happened to Geoffrey Chaucer in Knight's Tale - it's in a film, so it must be true).

The fact that he was able to convince them that it was his favourite towel, rather than DC's, tells you all than you need to know about his immense acting skills, and that he's probably even now lying to you about how he didn't see it when he was taking the washing in.

Oorrrrr, oooh, just thinking about this now - have you recently had what seemed to be a guilt-ridden text from somebody purporting to be the OW? Why did you ignore that?!?!? Perhaps she stole the towel and then (after your [D(hah!)]H paid her (or the syndicate) off royally (please do check the DC's university trust funds...) the towel was returned.

Seriously, for all sorts of reasons EVERY ONE OF which, LTB! Run! Now! Stopping only to collect your 600 count Egyptian Cotton sheets and whatever naice ham you have in the fridge. Oh, and your DCs, if they can walk themselves - you can't drop the sheets or the ham for them, of course.

DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 00:29

Oh god. Pendant, it all makes sense now. Thank you for opening my eyes. Why did I have to ignore that text?! The Egyptian Cotton sheets are currently, crustily, residing down DP's side of the bed so I'll just have to let them go

My DC is currently squatting in my uterus so that's taken care of. It means I have my hands free for the ham.

I am truly thankful that you have made me see what a bastard my "D"P is. Thank you.

OP posts:

PedantMarina · 15/09/2013 00:53

Run! And come to ours (and bring the ham).

We live in South Essex. Text us when you're near.

PedantMarina · 15/09/2013 00:54

But we'll leave the door ajar anyway.

MagzFarqharson · 15/09/2013 00:55

Pedant she can't run, she's v, v preg. You'll have to go and pick her up.

DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 00:58

I think you mean waddle slowly

OP posts:

PedantMarina · 15/09/2013 01:03

OK, I've had about 1.5 bottled of wine, but here I go. Hope you don't mind me pyjamas.

On the upside, we've got some naice smoked salmon for breakfast tomorrow, and live down the street from a naice bagel shop. Oh, and DP can cook a Full English like nobodywho's a southerner and wants to have functioning arteries's business...

PedantMarina · 15/09/2013 01:05

Damn, if I can't even get a simple MN strikeout right, maybe I shouldn't be driving pregnant women around...

OP, call me tomorrow! after, like, noon

WafflyVersatile · 15/09/2013 01:07

Is it definitely the same towel? It might be your neighbour borrowed it, killed it then performed a switcheroo in the hopes you wouldn't notice?

Also, as there were not enough things to worry about now I have to worry about twat death spiders.

PedantMarina · 15/09/2013 11:04

Oh, waffly, don't be silly! They never could replace the towel in time: all the towel shops would have been closed.

WafflyVersatile · 15/09/2013 11:14

Check the papers for local towel shop break ins.

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DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 15:09

I got up this morning to find him wearing the Big Brown Affair like a cape. Please send help.

OP posts:

DaleyBump · 15/09/2013 15:10

Oh noooo! Classics! DP's spider snuff shame has been immortalised!

OP posts:

ZingWantsCake · 15/09/2013 16:37

congrats Daley!

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