Parental kindnesses you recall...

[retiredgoth2]

When I was about 10, I'd been out playing with friends. And had had an argument the substance of which escapes me 20 30 ok 37 years later.

Came home in tears. This was unusual. Mum figured she couldn't make things better, but plainly so wanted to.

So she went to the Music Centre and put on a record (I don't recall her ever doing this ever in any other circumstance). It was my Wurzels LP. Which I loved. She was just trying to do something that made me happy..

Anyone else have comparable memories? I really hope in X years my kids will have their own versions...

A disclaimer.

I'm out in Covent Garden, and two drinks down, and inclined to mawkish reminiscence...

This is beautiful. I needed it a bit. Soemtimes when you are skint and tired and the house is a tip, you need a gentle reminder that the small people wont be small forever and its all to be enjoyed, especially the little things.

I have such wonderful memories of my maternal grandparents. My mother had me at 18 and they helped her so much. I remember sleeping over and having a little camp bed besides my nana so we could hold hands at night. Grandad used to make us kites for the garden, and obstacles courses from plant pots and old broom handles. Grandad died very suddenly aged 63, and my poor nana was a widow at 59. it absolutely broke her heart as they were so in love, and life was must getting a little more easy for them after raising five kids on bugger all. My nana was beyond wonderful to me. She nursed me through horrible times at home, first breakup, my first pregnancy. She taught me to knit and sew, and made the best homemade chips ever. She couldnt wait to be a great nana, and the first flowers to arrive at the hospital were from her. Shes 84 now, and in the depths of dementia. I wish i had told her before she got so ill how much she meant to me, and still means to me. She doesnt know me now, or the kids. I wish she could be herself again for just five minutes so i could tell her just how perfect she was.

going for a sob in the garden

I think my DM was kind in her generosity. I can remember her making sure we had tons of clothes and toys as she couldn't afford the big stuff like holidays/days out.

Its made me sad that I can't remember much overt affection from her. My DGP were very loving towards me.

Hmm it has got me thinking I don't have many happy memories of being a teenager.

greenfolder I was also at Westminster Children's hospital for minor surgery around 1981. I distinctly remember the machine in the playroom that dispensed either orange squash or pink milk!

Awwww. Some of these are really lovely.

I have another best Gran story. My Gran lived far away when we were kids and we would go to visit every year. She had sooooo many grandchildren but she would always make you feel like her favourite. Everyone says the same. Don't know HOW she did it. Anyway, when we went to stay there would be loads of people staying at her house so she would set up a little squeaky campbed at the foot of her bed for me and my teddy bear so we could sleep in the same room every night so she "wouldn't be scared of the wind" that was always howling round the house at night. I also vividly remember the shipping forecast playing on the radio as we fell asleep. I miss her so.

My Mum would always sing "All bound for Morning Town many miles away" when she was in a good mood and it was sunny... This is making me cry now. Nice memory though - I had actually forgotten it. She sang that and Puff the Magic Dragon!!! I just remembered that. Not really a parental kindness kind of thing but a nice memory that made me feel happy at the time probably without her even realising.

I really feel for you PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty it must be so hard. Funny how both our Grans did the camp bed thing. She sounds like an amazing lady.

My mum anonymously posted an envelope with money in it at Xmas through my brothers door. He had been made redundant and was worrying. For years he thought his workmates had a whip round. Just typical of her. So many good things I couldn't write them all.
I miss her.

i went to see nkotb for my 11th birthday with my mum. part of the treat was a fancy meal. my mum told me to order whatever i wanted, but there was nothing, i really just wanted beans on toast...so she went to the waiter and then the chef to demand it....still makes me smile

I went on a week's residential activity holiday when I was about 11, and cried with home sickness the whole time. At some point either me or the leaders (I forget which) must have phoned home and told them I was homesick. 2 days later a letter arrived from my dad, didn't tell me he loved me/missed me/it would all be ok/man up etc, it was just a long made up story about how lots of hedgehogs had escaped and blocked the main road in our town and my teddies had got involved in trying to sort out the ensuing chaos. It was exactly the right thing to send me, I had one final cry and was fine for the rest of the week. I found the letter again when I was was sorting through my childhood bedroom, and sobbed like a baby at his kindness and how he'd absolutely hit the spot with how to cheer me up and reassure me.

This sobbing fit that this thread set off has carried on through the day, i think its been a bit cathartic. My aunts and mum get so upset when we visit nan that i suck it up and be strong for everyone else.

This thread really reinforces to me how good relationships are built with children through love and the little things, and not through all the telling off and stuff. My mum did lots of smacking and telling off, and it wasn't nice at all. But she also loved/loves us with all her heart and it's that, and her ability to show it, that has kept the relationship going even when I have had real difficulties with her. I do love her very much.

One of my earliest memories is of being sick in the night, and my mum getting me up and giving me a shower, and then giving me one of those sweets in the shape of a prawn and another sweet in the shape of a banana, and then climbing into her bed and going back to sleep. I was rarely sick as a child and hated it so it stands out.

My dad - we used to see him every Sunday - pretending we had to go home and didn't have time for McDonald's, knowing full well we knew he was driving to McDonald's anyway, then driving all sorts of random ways to get there to put us off the scent. Not every week, obviously, but enough times for it to be a silly standing joke!

My mum always taking us to the beach or out for picnics. We had no money, so she would make up this massive cool box and lug it for a good couple of miles along the clifftops as we walked to the beach. And the picnic would always be awesome.

Homemade soup and crusty bread on Saturday afternoons.

All the many, many hours my poor mum spent, having worked all day, as a single parent, with no car, taking me on buses to ballet classes she had got a cheap deal on, and could hardly ever actually pay for, because the ballet teacher took pity on us. We'd be out for hours after school and she and my brother would have to sit through not one but two ballet classes in a church hall before we traipsed back to the bus stop in all weathers to get home. And sometimes we'd go to Poppins and have beans/spaghetti hoops on toast for tea. She did the same for my brother with football and rugby.

Lots of other things, but these stand out.

When my parents split up and me, my sister and my mum moved into our own little house. Mum used to get us all together at least once a week (or when required) for a 'Snug-a-hug' where we would all share a good cuddle and it was a safe place to talk about anything we were worried or scared about. My mum is amazing.

Love this thread x

My Dad left for work at 5 am for work. Got home 8 pm. My Mum always got up to make his breakfast. In the Winter she would always put our mittens .gloves scarves etc in the grill! to make them warm for us.I could write a book about all the wonderful things my parents did. They have both been dead for years but I think about them every single day and I am tearing up as I write this. Love you Mum and Dad.

The naff sign Mum's Taxi (which we never actually had BTW) was made for my mum. She would give us lifts everywhere with no grumbles at all. She'd get up at silly o'clock in the morning and take us to airports, drive halfway across the county to house sit all day for big furniture deliveries, drop off forgotten items including my passport, pick us up at midnight when she'd dropped us off at the pub when we were underage. She'll do anything for anyone like that and I plan on being the same with my kids. As a comparison, we had a meeting at our wedding venue at 10am on a Sunday morning which would have meant leaving our house at 9am. My ILs would practically have passed our road on their way to get there but when we asked for a lift so we could chat about the plans on the way they said no they couldn't really as they couldn't guarantee they would make it on time as it was a bit early and they didn't think we should be late but it was OK for them to be?? So they actually didn't end up coming but my mum did on her own as my dad was out playing golf and she had to drive almost as far. She regularly comes over an hours drive to see my DD but my ILs won't drive 10 minutes to see her. My DH sees my parent's example and wants our family to be like them rather than his family. I think if you want to bring your kids up as you were brought up that's the best compliment you can give to your parents. Oh and my dad always taking us to the sweet shop for us him to get sweets! Damn my sweet tooth!

My wonderful dad went out in the pitch black, with only a torch, to find Mr Snuggles (4 inch high dog) who I had left in a haystack in the middle of a campsite when camping in Tenby :). Bless him, he found him

When my goldfish died my mum cuddled up on the sofa with me and told me all about fish heaven, bless her

None of my own but love this thread

Love this thread.

I have loads but will only write three.

My parents woke my DB and I one night and got us out of bed as it had been snowing and they knew the snow would melt by morning. We had an amazing hour playing in the snow with a street snow ball fight followed by hot buttered toast and hot chocolate. My friend across the street's parents wouldn't allow her to join in which made my parents even cooler.

My dad worked many evenings and weekends as a heating engineer. To ensure family time we'd all go with him and have a picnic outside whatever boiler house he was working in then go to a local swing park or something.

Sometimes they'd stop the car in a lay-by on the way home from the weekly shop and we'd have a picnic there. My mum kept a butter knife in the glove compartment specifically for that purpose.

So many happy memories. I know I'm lucky to have had such a good childhood. DH had similar and we've trying hard for our DC.

At my 21st birthday party the theme was a shipwreck party, I was the island princess and the guests all "came as you were when the ship went down". My father dressed up extremely convincingly as the island queen (in a bikini and grass skirt) and convinced a number of people he was my mad old auntie.

My dad worked on the railway and worked shifts - every other thursday he would collect me from school, take me on the train to margate, where his depot was and we would go to dreamland and i would go on the "up and down horses" I still get a lump in my throat whenever i see a merrygoround :) My mum used to work at the bowling alley as a cleaner, i was allowed to polish the score sheets which were plastic sheets that would effectively be put on a OHP - i love the smell of mr sheen. My dad wouldn't go to the town without buying me something, no matter how small. There was a shop in the town that sold brittains farm characters, i was allowed to buy one a week, always horses, i so wanted a horse but we couldnt afford it so i had to make do with riding on my dads back around the living room.

Everytime I grazed my knee I had to have giggle cream on it, aka pink germolene, always stopped the tears and made me smile

My parents separated when we I was seven, and divorced soon after. It was acrimonious at first, but after that my DM hid all that from us, even though I suspect my DF wasn't generous with maintenance payments and flaunted his GFs. As we grew up she made damn sure that we had fair contact with him and that they were civil during events that were important to us.

Many years later they are actually great friends and we have the benefit of younger brothers and sisters, and three wonderful sets of GPs for our DCs.

I think I,ve been guilty of just remembering all the bad things but this thread has just reminded me how good my mum and dad were in their own way! As a child all my friends wanted my mum and dad to be theirs. Some stand out memories...

Dad singing nursery rhymes to us every night before bed
Mum making dinners in the shape of a face
Mum making me a lighthouse out of two toilet rolls for a school project - I was really upset as I had no idea how I was going to do it and she just went into the kitchen without saying anything and came out half an hour later with this feat of magnificence (she wasn't arty so this was a big thing for her!)
The way they both welcomed my friend into our home ALL THE TIME as a teenager knowing she had a shitty home life (and at the time we just moaned as we thought it would be 'so cool' if she was in care and had to go to a children's home )
Dad bringing me and two of my new friends a Chinese for dinner in our second week at uni cos he knew I hated the hall food ( he died two weeks later and it makes me so sad to think of all we,ve missed out on)

My nana did so many lovely things for me I can hardly pick out one or two. When I was a young adult living with her I got paid on a Friday and was skint by Tuesday. Every week when it got to Tuesday she would lend me a fiver; I'd pay her back the following Friday - on and on it went, we hardly knew whose fiver it was in the end.

When I was at Uni about 200 miles from home and was being ignored by everyone else my nana was worried about me and got the bus down herself just to make sure I was okay.

PaleHousewife. I'm sorry about your nana. she sounds truly lovely. You are doing a very good thing by being strong and holding it together for your mum & aunties. It must be very hard.

When I was about 6 or 7 I dreamt I had a pair of green patent shoes with little heels and a bow on the front. When I woke in the morning I looked around the room frantically searching for them to wear to a friends party later that day.
When I realised that they were just a dream I cried and cried.

My dad kept me off school that day and we trailed round all the shoe shops to find the next best thing. I found a pair of black patent shoes with a little heel and a gold bow on the front and a detachable ankle strap. It made me so so happy!

My parents took my dd on holiday a couple of years ago. My dd was 6 and she fell in love with a pair of gold Spanish dancing shoes in a shop window. She only had 5 euros spending money left. My df insisted on putting the rest of the money towards them... Some 60 euros! This also made her so so happy.