Parental kindnesses you recall...

[retiredgoth2]

When I was about 10, I'd been out playing with friends. And had had an argument the substance of which escapes me 20 30 ok 37 years later.

Came home in tears. This was unusual. Mum figured she couldn't make things better, but plainly so wanted to.

So she went to the Music Centre and put on a record (I don't recall her ever doing this ever in any other circumstance). It was my Wurzels LP. Which I loved. She was just trying to do something that made me happy..

Anyone else have comparable memories? I really hope in X years my kids will have their own versions...

A disclaimer.

I'm out in Covent Garden, and two drinks down, and inclined to mawkish reminiscence...

Gosh, this is lovely :) It's also inspiring me to remember all sorts of lovely little things (and big things) that my parents did.

The very first memory I have of a lovely kindness was my mum sitting on the bottom step with me feeding me smarties after I had fallen down the stairs.

I also remember being allowed to come downstairs out of bed once when I was about 6 to watch a documentary about Margot Fontein (sp?). My mum knew I was an insomniac so when she saw it coming on she crept up the stairs and beckoned to me from the landing.

She also used to write little notes to me on a special note pad I had by the bed and left them on the bedroom floor for me to read in the morning. Every night! Sometimes they just said "Night night xx" but sometimes they talked about things that had happened in the day.

Once when we went to collect my dad from the small local airport (he worked away in the week) mum particularly organised that we could see him get off the plane... and it turned out he was wheeling a pink mountain bike. I remember saying to another onlooker, "Well, it is my birthday this weekend!"

I was a lucky child, looking back :)

Loads of memories. Honestly, loads. My parents would still drop everything for my sister and I even now. And we're in our 30s. Ahh this thread...:)

cutteduppear I just looked for a like button for your post your dad sounds incredible :)

More grandparental, but a song came on the radio today that my grandad used to play in the car, and I realised that I could remember the back of his head so clearly, because he drove us everywhere.

My DF has been a phenomenally shit dad in many ways. But a couple of years ago I told him we were having trouble conceiving and he said 'I'm sorry love, it must feel like everyone around you is getting pregnant.'

It's the best response I had from anyone.

Lay in bed crying at this thread, my parents were awful, I don't see my dad now and my mums frail. I can't recall any good memories with them but a couple who I used to babysit for took me under their wing and loved me, I was so pleased the husband got to see me happy and get married before he died of cancer. They were my rock through horrific times and I don't think they will ever know how much they did for me.

My dd is 18 weeks tomorrow, I will make sure she has lovely memories to add onto a thread like this in years to come.

When I was about 8, I apparently stole a sharpener from someone at school (I don't even remember doing it) and my mum was called in (it was a strict private school).

She was so ashamed and went completely apeshit at me. My dad was away on business.

My dad took me to work with him that weekend as he sometimes did. He called me over to sit on his lap, and he gave me a sharpener and said "Do you need this?" I burst out crying - and he just hugged me for ages and didn't say a word, just stroked my hair and told me it was ok.

Other kind memories involving my dad that stand out for me:

I had started a new school and one morning I just didn't want to go in. I cried in the car and begged him not to make me. He took me to a shopping centre, bought me a little present and then we had lunch together. He then took me back to school, came in and spoke to my teacher who looked out for me from then on. Spending that time with him really helped reassure me and gave me strength to face the rest of the day.

I was singing in a junior school production. The day of the performance my mum told me she had to work so she'd not be there. She thought I'd have figured this out by myself. I hadn't and was devestated. Really devestated. I had a main part and I was really good in my head.

I went out onto the stage, and she was there, my mum, shuffling along one of the rows to find a free seat. I sang, and saw her rush out again as I left the stage. God knows how she swung it at work, but she was there and I don't think she ever knew how much I appreciated that.

My Father was a total shit and my Mum let him be which clouds things a bit but I do remember the notes she would leave under our pillows when she was away at university for the day - leaving me with him - and that, once I was old enough to do the short walk alone, she would let me come home from school for lunch just so that we could have some time alone together. I am the eldest of 4 so it was often hard. Every day, she would have made me my favourite sandwiches. I still have a soft spot for Dairylea even now :)

At weekends, I would cycle alone down to my Grandad's shop where I'd spend the day "working" and playing houses in the old flat upstairs. At closing time, he'd get me to mop the floors and then would take me next door to the newsagents to buy a sweet for me and my siblings and an extra one for me as my wages :) I loved that time away from the house and the horrors it often held. I miss my Grandad so much

Oh, ratbagcatbag

Your DD has already has eighteen weeks of love, security and cuddles. What you have done in these crucial first moments has laid the foundation for a good life and many happy times to come

Materially I was okay, but that was just for show. I was adopted and I do think god / the universe knew better than to have given my parents a child. They were toxic individually but horrific together... mellowed since then of course, when I was stronger, and when the grandchildren arrived.

OP, how long have you been back? I haven't seen you for aaaaaages! Enjoy your evening

When I was a surly teenager, my Dad use to get up early to make me toast in bed, so he knew I ate something and then drive my to the train station so I could get to training before school on time. I don't think I even grunted good morning to him!

When I moved to a new city, and feelings a bit crap about things, my Dad sent me £50 in the post with a note saying 'buy yourself some sweet'. It really cheered my up, especially because he must have known things weren't great without me having to say, and he was really anti-sweets growing up to the thought of buying £50 worth was great! My Dad also wrote me letters and use to paint my beloved cat's paw to make a print on the paper. He is not a letter writer or gushy in anyway!

Mum memory, it was just a little thing, but when I was about 9, Mum sat down and did some craft with me, something she had come across in a magazine. It was just me and her, and she wasn't running off to do something else. I can remember at the time wishing it would last forever.

Remembered some about my mom - she was always looking out for us and I remember cutting my head open running into another child when I was about 5. She got called from work to pick me up and my friend's mom was all in a panic. My mom was so no-nonsense, scooped me up and took me to the health centre at the mine to get stitched up. I remember feeling so secure being looked after by her.

Also, when I was a teenager I used to go out clubbing. My mom was always clear that she didn't like it but she would rather I tell her about it and that if there was any sort of problem she would come and pick me up no matter what time and that I wouldn't get in trouble. I now realise she must have been worried sick what I was getting up to but wanted to make sure I would ask for help if I needed it.

I also remember sitting on my grandad's knee whilst he would tell us stories. He was a massive farmer with a neck as thick as a tree trunk and a very hot temper, but he would sit patiently with his two young grand-daughters as we asked endless questions about the farm. He was so kind and gentle with us - I miss him.

sometimes I would get told off and would go and sob on the stairs. Mum would always come and sit on the stairs with me, put her arm around me and say 'cheer up chicken'. Always made me feel happy and loved. I do similar to my children

My mum used to sing "good morning, good morning" to us.

My dad used to open the curtains and leave a cup of tea by my bed, telling me softly it was time to get up.

My dad used to leave any book he thought I might like to read propped open on my teddy bear's lap.

My mum used to bake a cake, and my dad would lay a coal fire, then buy all the Sunday papers in winter. We'd sit by the fire and read and eat cake. It was a lovely Sunday ritual.

My sister and I once queued for hours and hours to get tickets for Rod Stewart. (I'm old ) The line was cut off about three people ahead of us and we came home really upset. Next day my mum waved an envelope at us. She'd applied to buy tickets by post and hadn't told us in case she didn't get any, but she did. I still remember how happy she was and how over joyed we were. Great concert.

My mum used to get up really early before my A levels and dictate chunks of French novels to me so I could practise my dictation writing, which wasn't very good. Because of this I learned loads of new vocab that came up in the exams and ended up with an A.

awwww, this thread's making me feel all squiggly inside! I have had wine though

oh and my sister used to sing Hey Jude and play her guitar to me at bedtime. She was 16 years older than me. I still love that song

My grandparents always used to send me and my sister little notes and my grandma would write on one side and my gramps on the other and when we went on holiday we got a little note with a present or some spending money, I wish I had kept those notes now, I loved getting them they made me smile and laugh. I miss them so much but am so lucky to have had them.

Can this thread go in classics so we all can hunt it out when in need of cheering up and some luffly stories?

For one term in the last year of high school, we went to an outdoor activity centre for PE once a week. The school minibus passed directly by my house on the way back to school so I would hop out, and usually bring a mate or two with me. My mum would make us all soup and buttered toast and sit us all in front of the fire to warm up. By about week three, I was arriving home with about 7 friends, and she fed them all and listened to all our chat before dropping most of them home in her car.

My dad has never been the most caring or sensitive man, but one thing he did for me as a young teenager over thirty years ago has always stayed with me as a great memory.

I used to cycle the three miles to school every day. One afternoon there was a terrible thunderstorm & I was terrified to cycle home in case I got struck by lightning. I was wandering around in tears alone in the school corridor when everyone else had gone home, with no idea what on earth to do. This was in the days before mobile phones, and I was too shy to go to the school office.

Suddenly, out of nowhere my dad appeared in the school corridor. He'd realised I'd be scared & come to find me. Instead of his car he'd borrowed a van from work so he could put my bike in the back, & he took me home.

Thanks Dad!

Such a lovely thread!

My Mum was widowed when I was young and we really struggled for money. She had to work all hours and was so tired. But she used to go to charity shops after work and scour them for books that she thought my sister and I would like. Somehow she managed to get me the whole St Clares and Malory Towers series (though not in the correct order ) and loads of others - she knew my tastes so well. I remember how great it was to have lots of 'new' books to read, when we didn't really have a lot else.

I just think of how long she must have had to search to get those books. She still buys me books now! She's wonderful. Both my children are into books so I hope to do the same thing for them.

my mum also came to look after me aged 38 and redundant and having a minor breakdown. Took me out for walks and lunch. Then came to look after me 6 months later when I was 5 months pregnant and had suspected swine flu. She even sat in the bathroom while I showered in case I passed out. She is lovely

My dad used to take me for bike rides on our own, just me and him time. His work used to take him away a lot, and every time he was in a foreign city, he would buy me a little doll in national costume to add to my collection. He used to make up stories at bedtime, which I preferred to being read to out of a book. We used to play duets on the piano and he would play his guitar while I would sing.

It's especially sad now as he has been diagnosed with dementia at only 69, and he is deteriorating ever so fast :(

And I've remembered a good one - when I was 20 and studying at university over the easter holidays, I was alone in the student house we rented, as everyone else was home for the holidays. One night burglars broke in when I was alone in bed. It was utterly terrifying, but they went when I got up and shouted that there was someone in the house and I was calling the police. I phoned my dad and he drove 200 miles to come and secure the window they had broken to get in.

When I was 18 I had my first serious boyfriend, who turned out to be a very damaged and unstable boy, who caused me a lot of pain and heartache. After I finally finished with him, he stalked me for a while, turning up at work, or breaking in to my car and leaving flowers, that sort of thing. I was scared and intimidated by him.

I only found out about 10 years later, that he also put a letter though the door every single morning for over 3 months. My mum got up at 6am every single morning to wait for the letter to drop onto the mat and then she would destroy it.

I think it showed so much intelligence that she never told me or confronted him either - she just silently protected me from him.