Parental kindnesses you recall...

[retiredgoth2]

When I was about 10, I'd been out playing with friends. And had had an argument the substance of which escapes me 20 30 ok 37 years later.

Came home in tears. This was unusual. Mum figured she couldn't make things better, but plainly so wanted to.

So she went to the Music Centre and put on a record (I don't recall her ever doing this ever in any other circumstance). It was my Wurzels LP. Which I loved. She was just trying to do something that made me happy..

Anyone else have comparable memories? I really hope in X years my kids will have their own versions...

A disclaimer.

I'm out in Covent Garden, and two drinks down, and inclined to mawkish reminiscence...

My dad drank Pepsi (I don't like it)all summer so that I could collect the pink ring pulls to get a free Spice Girls CD. I didn't find out until a few years after that he really hates Pepsi too.

It might sound really silly, but it means a lot to me.

Thinking about this in the heat wave - my dad used to splash rubbing alcohol on my back when he tucked me in on sweltering summer nights. Felt glorious. Cold winter nights I'd get a warm slate between the covers before I got tucked in so it was comfy and warm. Really little things, but felt so cared for.

My mum used to pretend she believed me when I said I could sleep with my eyes open and would sit and sing me lullabies even though she'd been at work all day and must have had things to do and been knackered (single parent). She also let me sleep in her bed on Friday nights so we could cuddle and chat and giggle. She died 27 years ago today, when I was a horrible teenager and she wasn't much older than I am now .

This lovely thread has made me cry.

I'm 51 and my parents would have been 86.

I could write a book-nay a bible-of all the absolutely wonderful things they did for us.
I thought I was being over romantic about it but I recently had a school friend to stay, and when my teenage sons were being disparaging to me she said 'your mum had the most amazing parents ever' -and then went on to say nice things about me but I shan't write them.

We had so much less materially than ours have but I don't remember wanting for anything except a pony, and a swimming pool in our huge and flower filled garden. The latter was the only thing that my parents loved anywhere nearly as much as us or each other.

My father sent me a wedding anniversary card on our first saying' I'll never forget how much I enjoyed your wedding' which he had paid £10000 for. And just before she died very suddenly, my mother sent me a card after a late night phone call when DH had walked out and DS had just had an explosive nappy saying 'my darling wonderful girl, all 3 of you are doing something new and it will take time for all of you to get used to it'. And signed it saying how wonderful I was again. The last thing she ever sent me.

I miss them all the time: 17 yrs and 9 years after Mum and Dad died respectively.

Oh yes, forgot I was 3rd out of 4 so the wedding comment was v special

I don't know if this is a 'thing,' but my parents have never given up on me. Ever. They get extremely protective (even now) about my mental illnesses. I never had a normal childhood because of how debilitating they are. The teen years were hell for them, the hormones and useless doctors, all the medicine switching made me a error to live with, plus my DB being horrifically bullied at high school for being ASP.

To this day DP tell me virtually daily (they live close, we phone a lot) how much I've improved (I haven't) how proud they are of me, how they wouldn't want me any other way etc etc.

On one memorable occasion my flitty, tiny, birdlike mother with her fragile disposition caught my ex boyfriend calling me a cunt. (15 years old) She turned purple, reached up about three feet, twisted his ear, dragged him down the stairs while he screamed in pain and literally threw him outside. Never said a word. Then just came and held me.

My Dad has the onset of dementia now but he will always be my hero even though I don't always recognise what that terrible cruel illness is turning him into. This thread is making me cry because it makes it all too clear what a wonderful special man we are losing and it's difficult to bear tbh.

When I was little and poorly he would always come home at lunchtime and bring me an orange ice lolly.
He made me the most fantastic Wendy house, I woke up one Christmas morning and looked outside and there it was.
When I left home and moved away he wrote me lovely letters, not really long ones but more notes, and they cheered me up so much when I received them, I've stil got them in my treasure box. I realise now that they were his way of telling me he missed me and was thinking about me.
He was my spider-catcher!

There are so many things more that I could write but I can't see the keyboard properly now......

I am missing my mum desperately today, this thread has made me cry remembering all the lovely things she did for me. I was lucky enough to be able to tell her what a great mum she had been and how I hoped I could be the same mother to my DS.

Thank you, I really needed to shed a few tears tonight.

My dad was in the RAF and was often away on night exercises. I always used to miss him but when he'd come home in the mornings he'd stop off at the NAAFI shop on the base and buy me Tuc cheese crackers with cheesy filling and an individually wrapped slice of fruit cake. I always looked forward to these small treats, and even now when I see them, they remind me of him and those early mornings.

Mine were not the greatest parents, but they certainly tried hard. For my 9th birthday I announced that I didn't want a party, but a treasure hunt. My Dad devised one with clues for two teams that went all over our small town and ended up with the discovery of 'treasure ' (Fake gold bangles and chocolate coins) hidden in a tree in the local park, followed by ice cream sundaes for all in a cafe. We NEVER went to cafe! It was so much fun, and the talk of all my friends for ages. I don't think it cost any more than a normal party or birthday treat but it's the time and effort he must have put in to thinking up all those rhyming clues that made it so special. I ought to say thank you actually!

We didn't have much money growing up. My mum would knit dolly clothes for us to play with but she would take her time and make a set and put it in a shoe box. They were the best presents. I think how she must have knitted in the evenings or when I was at school so it would be a surprise.

My nan used to save the card inserts from packets if tights as she knew I liked drawing on them..

My mum wasn't very good with crying but my dad would always get a cold flannel to put over my eyes.

Feeling sad and thinking I want to be kinder to mine. I just seem to tell them off or give instructions. :(

ladymariner what a horrible thing to see your dear Dad fading :( UnmumsnettyHugs to you. I'm sure your love and devotion will always get through to him no matter what. xxx
quickquick me too - missing my Dad and feeling so grateful for having him for so long. Gone but never forgotten x

Thankyou madmomma , your hugs are much appreciated xxxxx

When I had a temperature, she's wipe my forehead with a face cloth and turn the pillow over to the cool side and made sure there were no wrinkles.

She took on my chemistry teacher who had kicked me out of her class for no reason, she was just a nutjob when everyone including the principal was afraid of her.

My mam's the best and I love her.

My parents went scrimped and saved to send my DB and I to private school and then supported us through university, and scarcely blinked when after a decent 12 year career I was made redundant and announced I was going back to college to retrain and was going to work in the entertainment field in an area that pays badly and is ridiculously hard work. This year I've earned enough to support myself, but they've been there every step of the way when I couldn't.

Plus, they're endearingly bonkers. I read the thread about weird things your PILs do, and whilst some of the things listed were scarily off-the-wall, a lot are things my DM and DF do, and I love them for it.

They have a wonderful capacity for being silly, and sometimes it's lovely when we all get the giggles, the sort where you can't talk, your eyes water and you have to sit down for a bit.

We used to go on holiday to a little caravan in a field on the Atlantic coast in a very out of the way and undiscovered area. Most evenings we bought freshly caught mackerel at a little pier and the following morning mum would take out the Kosangas cylinder and the big cast iron pan she used to bring, gut the fish and throw the scraps far away to the other end of the field for the neighbourhood cats to feast on. Then she would fry the fish at a little distance form the caravan, and we sometimes had leftover potatoes from the last night's dinner too. (We always brought a bucket of new potatoes from the garden at home). I will never forget how delicious those breakfasts were. Mum never had any -- she hated fish with a passion and the smell of them made her gag.

1981 I was 4 almost 5.
We'd just had an extension to our house at huge cost. My mum and dad had a bathroom fitted fully tiled with a bath AND a shower cubicle it was beautiful and their 1980's dream bathroom. All colored suite and matching tiles.

My dad is a post war baby, he was very strict. Kind but strict, had lots of post war ideas on child rearing. My parents had a no nonsense attitude. I was a late baby with siblings 11 and 8 yrs older than I.

Well, the bathroom was complete, bar the accessories. I remember dad spending Saturday painstakingly marking out the drill holes for the towel rail. He was no DIY god so it took ages. I remember watching the holes being drilled and plastic plugs inserted and the faux Crome towel rail attached. I watched and then was told ' now you MUST not swing on that. It LOOKS like it will hold you but it won't it will break, don't swing alright?' To which I duely agreed.

Approximately 30 mins later I found myself in bathroom alone and YES I swung! I thought 'hey they'll never know....' CRACK!!!!!!!!!!

Well I nearly died, time stopped, my blood stopped. My dad came in and saw and said...'it's ok, you just wanted to try didnt you?' He hugged me,calmly got his tools and started again a few cm from where he'd put it originally. Mum never mentioned the polyfila-ed extra holes to me.

I think I was more amazed by his calmness and forgiveness and no I never swung on the faux crome towel rail again

This thread has made me really happy that people have had such lovely parents and sad because I never really had it, sometimes I worry that I go a little over the top making memories for my dd, but this has reassured me

Earliest memory- I was 5 in Westminster Childrens Hospital for heart surgery. There was an IRA bomb scare and the hospital was evacuated. I can remember being on the pavement outside in a nightie and a blanket.and suddenly there was my Dad! He had come all the way from work in North London and bypassed whatever police there. It was like he was a Super Hero!

I am sobbing at this thread.

My parents have always been extremely loving and thoughtful and I can honestly say that I've been spoiled with their kindness and feel so lucky. If I can be half as good a parent as them, then I will die happy. I am on a mission to make as many happy memories for my children as they have given me.

One that really sticks in my mind though...

On my birthday (can't exactly remember which one, maybe 10th) I was woken up by my new cassette alarm clock playing 'The right stuff' by New kids on the block. I thought it was the coolest thing ever- even better though they had decorated my room with Banners and balloons. I felt like the luckiest girl ever. They went to such an effort for me.

Even now, I am still dazzled by their dedication and love for me at the age of 33. My mum remembers every little thing I say that I need in passing and then before I know it, it arrives in the post or she brings with her on her next visit. Cupboards get filled quietly while she is here looking after my kids. She wants no big thanks or fuss.

They are doing it again for their grandchildren now too.

My mum used to sing to me at bedtime and stay with me until I was almost asleep - am just about phasing that out with DD now - she's nearly 9!

My dad worked his backside off so mum could stay at home with me until I went to high school, so it was always weekends and holidays that were our fun time.

Their house backs onto the South Downs and we used to get up really early on a Sunday morning and go for a long walk, the stop at the Happy Eater for egg on toast and hot chocolate on the way home. When I was smaller it was a trip to the paper shop, sweets and the park, and when I was a baby he used to come home from an early shift and we had an afternoon nap together (back in the day when no-one batted an eyelid at babies sleeping on their parents chests on the sofa).

Just remembered my mum buying me the new Kylie cassette when I was poorly with tonsilitis once.

She always used to do me a 'goody bag' when we went on holiday with sweets, pens, colouring/puzzle book, comic etc. I used to love those almost more than the actual holidays.

This is making me weep, what a beautiful thread.

One Christmas eve my dad put on a santa hat and walked behind a hedge while my mum called my sisters to the window to look at 'Father Christmas' (sisters probs aged about 3 and 5). They were beside themselves with excitement.

My dad has always been self-employed and used to run a large company, have his own PA etc. I'll never forget how he always made it clear to me that we could interrupt any appointment or meeting if we needed him for anything at all. It meant the world to me that he would leave his clients just because I wanted to talk to him.

I am married now and live about 4 hours away from my parents, but even now when DH and I go to visit my mum will stock the fridge with all our favourite foods, DH's favourite beer etc. Whenever they visit they always fill our fridge and cupboards, take us out for meals etc.

My dad always used to make us little gifts when we were younger; painted rocks, seashell necklaces, books with holes cut in them for storing our 'treasures'

Dad used to act out stories and plays before we went to bed at night.

I am going to write them a card with all of these lovely memories in - thanks for the prompt.

My mother has been a rock to all of her seven children. We still go to her for advice and comfort. Earlier this year when it was bitterly cold, I was staying with her. When I went to bed I found she had put a hot water bottle in it. She's 89!