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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

668 replies

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 20:30

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up Sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
marcopront · 16/06/2013 04:42

Best of luck for today.

TotallyBursar · 16/06/2013 05:39

Good luck for today. I hope it goes well and the nerves don't hold either of you back.

Will await any update you feel you want to share.
Thanks

Featherbag · 16/06/2013 08:33

What an amazing thread, hope the sun's shining where you are OP and that your visit is everything you hoped for!

ohballs2013 · 16/06/2013 08:44

wow. just wow.

Jux · 16/06/2013 09:59

D luck today. Hope it goes well and you have fun.

ajandjjmum · 16/06/2013 10:51

Just read this thread, and it's given me a little bit of Father's Day back, having lost my own Dad 10 years ago.

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend, and that it's the start of a new phase of family life for you.

marriednotdead · 16/06/2013 12:40

Good luck for today, so pleased for you Flowers

HorryIsUpduffed · 16/06/2013 14:06

Having a lovely Father's Day sob over this thread. Well done MN and MM for having the courage to get started at all. Hope everything goes brilliantly today.

FruOla · 16/06/2013 16:40

Hoping your reunion went well, Missy.

MissMarplesBloomers · 16/06/2013 18:08

Lovely day in Lincolnshire to set up the reunion, hope it went well MM!!

MrGeresHamster · 16/06/2013 18:34

Hope today went well, looking forward to an update x.

LindyHemming · 16/06/2013 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyWearer · 16/06/2013 21:36
WafflyVersatile · 16/06/2013 23:12

Only just found this thread. Amazing story. I hope you've had a lovely day.

HoneyandRum · 17/06/2013 06:48

A fantastic outcome and I hope Missy you will come and tell us your first impressions and how your Father's Day went! So very happy and delighted for you.

MissMarplesBloomers · 17/06/2013 23:03

I would think Missy is lying down in a darkened room today after all the excitements of the last few weeks!

Grin
KnittedC · 18/06/2013 20:00

Wow, just read through this, what a completely lovely and heartwarming thread. It's things like this that really restore your faith in human kindness, all these MNers pitching in to help and look at such a wonderful outcome.

Really so pleased for you Missy Smile

NorksAreMessy · 18/06/2013 22:55

Popping back to see how you got on.
I love MumsNet :)

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 18/06/2013 23:53

Aw, Missy please come back Smile

lessemin · 20/06/2013 21:46

Hope everything went ok Missy.

RedundantExpat · 21/06/2013 13:27

I imagine you are still processing everything you heard on the weekend. Hope you can give us a little update sometime.

MacMac123 · 21/06/2013 20:58

Where is Missy?!

Footle · 23/06/2013 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UpTheFRIGGinDuff · 23/06/2013 19:53

This is incredible
I haven't read this thread for a week,then popped on it to catch up,hoping you may have found a relative or two....but bloody hell,I didn't expect this!

I hope this weekend went well. Flowers

MissMarplesBloomers · 23/06/2013 22:18

I tihnk Missy is having some time out of MN to get her head round it all.

MM - hope you're OK. xx