Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

668 replies

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 20:30

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up Sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
muchostinky · 11/06/2013 20:50

Wow! Congratulations!

The power of Mumsnet Grin

LentilAsAnything · 11/06/2013 21:28

Wow! Huge congratulations, what an awesome outcome! Best of luck with everything. Keep us posted with it all!

LaVitaBellissima · 11/06/2013 21:36

Just wonderful Thanks

Liara · 11/06/2013 21:41
Grin

So, so happy for you.

Theselittlelightsofmine · 11/06/2013 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rindercella · 12/06/2013 00:04

Missy, this is incredible. I am so happy for you. I have been blubbing my eyes out for the last two pages. God alone knows what you must have been like! Grin

It is most definitely The Best Thread Ever.

QuintessentialOldDear · 12/06/2013 00:14
Smile

Wow. And Wow. Lovely!

MissMarplesBloomers · 12/06/2013 06:34

Morning MissyMoo!

Still grinning? Grin

HawaiianSunset12 · 12/06/2013 08:51

Aww I'm glad you have spoken to him and it's all going well.

My own father walked out when I was 3 years old and has had zero contact since that day (parents divorced 21 years tomorrow). When I was in my late teens I tracked his nieces down (my cousins) and they told me he had no interest in meeting me, and even now a few years later I still occasionally try but apparently it would cause problems with his new wife and clearly she is far more important to him than his 2 children are.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 12/06/2013 09:03

Morning MissMarple yes I am still alternating between grinning and crying Grin the lovely people on this thread are setting me off crying again. For the first day in about 15 years I'm not going to wear mascara, I looked like a snotty panda all day yesterday Grin

Today I am getting my Dads Fathers day present ready. I am going to pop out and buy a photo album and fill it with my wedding photos and pictures of the kids over the years. I hope he likes it.

Thank you all for your kindness it really does mean so much to me. And I promise I will let you all know how it goes next weekend.

Thanks Wine Brew to you all xx

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 12/06/2013 09:07

I'm so sorry to read that Hawiian Sad I don't understand how a parent can do that, I have actually had a lot of people sharing similar stories with me over these past couple of weeks. I'm not sure if there is a thread for support, I haven't seen one, it may be an idea for someone to start one.

OP posts:
SixPackWellies · 12/06/2013 09:18

That will be a lovely Fathers day gift, MissyMoo

longjane · 12/06/2013 09:24

still happy for you missymoo xxxx

hawalian have you though of looking at the bigger family grandma grandad aunts and uncles

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 12/06/2013 10:16

This is still making me smile too!

Perfect present Missy, it'll be really good fun doing it too.

MarthasHarbour · 12/06/2013 10:21

aww missymoo what an amazing fathers day gift!

blows-DH's M&S pyjamas out the water! Grin

SilverSixpence · 12/06/2013 10:27

What a lovely thread! So pleased for you OP Grin

SandyMumsnet · 12/06/2013 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theboutiquemummy · 12/06/2013 12:51

Parish records

SandyMumsnet · 12/06/2013 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MickeyMouseHasGrownUpACow · 12/06/2013 13:07

Congratulations MissyMoo! Best thread ever!

YoniMitchell · 12/06/2013 14:04

Nice one Missy & MN - this thread is MN at its best Grin

Enjoy Sunday, Missy!

cq · 12/06/2013 16:04

Congratulations MissyMoo - how wonderful for you - and for your DC's to have a brand new grandad!!!! What do they think of it all?!

Mrdarcyswife · 12/06/2013 18:09

Just read this thread in one sitting!!!

Soooo pleased for you MissyMoo.

quietbatperson · 12/06/2013 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SauceForTheGander · 12/06/2013 19:12

Covered in goose bumps!

So happy for you and well done everyone!