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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

668 replies

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 20:30

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up Sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 10/06/2013 19:22

Ah bless.... Fathers Day

75 cousins Shock Grin

Elefant1 · 10/06/2013 19:25

Brilliant news Smile

LemonPeculiarJones · 10/06/2013 19:26

Oh my GOD! Have been following this thread but had no idea you would find your family so quickly - Shock - so pleased for you!!!

How amazing. Do come back and tell us all about it, if you want to of course!

Flowers
WingDefence · 10/06/2013 19:27

Hurrah - so chuffed for you! Wine

HawaiianSunset12 · 10/06/2013 19:27

Oh my goodness how bloody wonderful!!!!!

I wish my dad (and his family) gave a fuck about me Sad

YoniMatopoeia · 10/06/2013 19:31

How wonderful for you missy.

And well done to all the MN ers who helped.

BoreOfWhabylon · 10/06/2013 19:35

Oh MissyMoo I am so pleased for you! Am tearing up here.

Well done, viperz! Thanks

LindyHemming · 10/06/2013 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 20:00

I have put the old pictures of my Dad, Aunties and Granny and Grandad on my profile if anyone wants to see them. The least I can do is share them with you lovely lot so you can see who it is we have been looking at records of for the past week and a half Grin Grin Grin

OP posts:
IsotopeMe · 10/06/2013 20:00

What an amazing thread! So pleased for you!

lateSeptember1964 · 10/06/2013 20:03

Really pleased and delighted for you. Will continue to watch with interest, so keep us updated. Is he in Bassingham?

zipzap · 10/06/2013 20:03

What wonderful exciting news!! Wish there was a [bottle of champagne] to toast you and your newly discovered family with.

Make sure when you go to meet your dad, cousin and others that you take a well charged camera with you, with plenty of space for pictures. And amongst all the other photos, take a mug shot style photo of everybody individually, holding a sheet of paper with their name written on so that when you are looking at them in a week or month or year's time, you'll be able to figure out who everyone is. Also get them to write anything and everything about themselves on the sheet and keep them as a permanent reminder. Everything from the practical names, numbers, email, addresses, their little bit of the family tree (if there are 75 cousins, then with wives, kids and maybe grandkids, numbers of new people to meet are going to rocket!) to silly details like their favourite food, most watched film, song used for their first dance at their wedding etc).

BoreOfWhabylon · 10/06/2013 20:07

Lovely pictures MissyMoo! And how gorgeous you and the DCs are!

FriskyHenderson · 10/06/2013 20:12

Did you tell them about this thread? now's the time to ask MNTowers to retrospectively name change you before your new relatives ask about your beaver of steel

StillInBigKnickers · 10/06/2013 20:16

Good luck with things from here :)

cakesonatrain · 10/06/2013 20:19

Oh wow, what fabulous news!
Hope it goes well when you meet everyone.

shinyrobot · 10/06/2013 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 10/06/2013 20:22

OMGOMGOMG!
I started reading this just as you posted that you'd found your Dad.
I have been smiling, tearing up, smiling more and very, very excited ever since. In spite of rude interruptions from DH and DS who, FFS, expect their supper cooked!
I've been thinking it should go in Classics since about half way through but obviously see why that would have drawbacks.
I do think it would be a massive shame for your story here to disappear MissyMoo, maybe there could be a synopsis in Classics.
I hope your reunion with your family is fabulous, you sound wonderful, and positive, in spite of the considerable sadness you've been subjected to.

At the risk of being a bit nauseating, I actually feel privileged to have witnessed this development of events.
And how cool is it that you are part Mohawk! Envy Grin

Lots of love and luck to you sweetheart, and I bet you're glad you posted in the first place!

PS. I prefer the BeaverofSteel bit of your name. Is there a back story? Grin

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 20:29

He isn't in B now, but he isn't far away though.

Zipzap thats good advice. I can barely remember my DCs names most of the time so I stand no chance with 75 cousins and 8 Aunties and and Uncle and my Dad Grin Grin Grin

Thank you Bore Blush I forgot I put those pictures on, I was obviously going through a phase of posing and dragged my dc along with me haha.

I didn't actually consider my beaver of steel Grin I should probably have name changed before this, I was worried that I wouldn't seem genuine if I posted under a new name looking for someone.

Just for the record (in case any of my new found relatives discover thread) my username is down to a comment made to me just after I had my son. A random elderly lady asked me how much he weighed when we were out shopping, I told her he was 9lb 2oz, she then asked if I had stitches Shock so I told her I didn't and she said 'Gee whizz love, you must have a beaver of steel' then just wandered off. I thought it was really funny so put it as my username. Its not quite so funny now I have to try and portray myself as respectable haha.

OP posts:
BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 10/06/2013 20:33

Oh sod respectable Grin

GoofyIsACow · 10/06/2013 20:43

Wow! Amazing thread, i hope they are all you wish for Missy :)

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 20:45

My cousin just messaged me, he went to see my Dad, forgot to take my number with him though, he was shocked when he found out that I had been in touch, but really happy, he nearly keeled over when my cousin told him he had 4 more grandchildren Grin my cousin is popping back again in the morning with my number and he is going to call me then. Its going to be a long, long night.

Have I said cousin enough since I found him haha?

I really need a bigger face to fit this smile onto you know Grin Grin Grin

I don't really mind if this gets kept, I will ask the other people who are named when I speak to them (next weekend, did I mention?) and it shows what amazing people MNers are, this has literally changed my life forever. I have a family again solely down to MN, I would never have found him if it wasn't for this thread.

OP posts:
longjane · 10/06/2013 20:51

WOW WOW WOW

so glad you have found really really really pleased for you

hope you get the answers you need

take a copy of this thread for them before it goes

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jux · 10/06/2013 20:57

Just read your thread, Missy. How exciting, so pleased for you.

It's threads like this that make me love MN.

Thanks
LayMizzRarb · 10/06/2013 21:02

I got to the end of this thread after reading it in one go. I am in tears - just in time for Father's Day!
Good luck - I wish you very happiness! XX