This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

Good point. But she thinks her dad was born in 1936, so 'Canadian grandad' would have been here before WW2.

I'm loving the history aspect of this, and the chronologies :) You lot are brilliant!

Interestingly, I had a bit of a google today and the surname B is a name that crops up amongst Native Canadians on certain reservations - particularly in the Kahnawake Mohawk Territory. So the story about B's father being half Canadian Indian might be true.

The 1946 B's' father was called B according to BMD records.

My Granny had an older half-brother who was the product of a fling with an 'American soldier'. There was about 9 years between them & she was born in '33 which places foreign military personnel in the country between the wars! Therefore there could potentially have been a baby born to a Canadian air force man in the UK in 1936!

I knew my family's scandal would come in handy one day!

Hi everyone.

Sorry I haven't been on since lunch time, my head was buzzing with numbers and names and dates and I needed a few hours to regroup.

Since my regrouping I have realised I am an idiot who jumps to conclusions.

It is possible that my Dad is 1946 B, I think I assumed it was 1936 B because I heard my Dad was around 10 years older than my Mother and then somehow convinced myself I saw it on a record somewhere, I've checked them all again and it could be either one, what would I do without you lot keeping me in check, I'm so keen and emotionally attached I am running ahead of myself sometimes.

I am going to order my Dads marriage certificate from before he met my Mother and both of the birth certificates on pay day friday so I should hopefully get them in the next couple of weeks, and then I can keep myself right because I will have the information in front of me.

I have ruled out 8 B's on 192 now so its always possible that one of the three I couldn't get hold of may pick up their phones tomorrow and say 'Yes I'm your Dad' although doubtful.

Thank you for linking all the stuff about the Canadian Air Force its really interesting and it is a huge possibility that my 'Grandad' got to lincolnshire through the Air Force. I had never thought about it before I sort of assumed he met my 'Grandma' and fell in love and she came from Lincolnshire but it wouldn't have been so easy to travel back then so that was another stupid assumption of mine.

I still haven't heard back from the paper, the WI, or my potential brother or sister yet so I'm still hoping that something will turn up with them.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to help me find my family and coming up with such brilliant ideas and leads for me to go on, I could never have got this far without you all I am astounded and amazed that so many strangers care enough to go out of their way to help me so much (and astounded that MissMarple is even still speaking to me with all my garbled and excited messages to her).

Every story (and family scandle jojo ) link, piece of information, message of support, idea of somewhere to look and person who has taken the time to scout about online and try and come up with something for me has made me so grateful to be part of such a fabulous network of people and I really can't thank all of you enough.

Not sure if this has been posted already but I found the Canadian archives to be quite helpful when I was looking for a WW1 soldier.

clarebella
where do you B's father name from which web site ?
the
RCAF did send men in ww1 but not its self

there are 3 Bs honored in ww2 according to web site fruola said

yes of course there were planes ww1 but this was very early in flying game and i don't think they would have flown from Lincoln to france

really we need the people with local knowledge of the area to say who was station round there in ww1/ ww2
was there a canada base
or
hospital

Good luck OP- my mum tracked down my dads dad and his family with very little info so it can be done. Birth and death records are key!

just checking in -evening lovely Vipers all!

Missy Takes a lot more than your garbling to put me off my sherry m'dear.

I think the thing to remember is there are a lot of crossed wires & false leads in genealogy I understand, so although it's easy to get excited & hopeful sometimes its a long slog to get there.

Lots of bits of the jigsaw which may or may not turn into a bigger picture.

I was where MM is now a few years ago but as someone who was found.

My sister & I had started a rough family tree on Genes Reunited and subsequently were contacted by a chap who was researching his cousins family tree.

He was understandably cautious and very mindful that it might not be welcome news but he thought his cousin was related to my mum.

Turns out they were half sisters! So at the age of 62, thinking she was alone in the world Mum had a ready made sister, they met, got on like a house on fire,and keep in regular contact.

Another reason for my interest!

OP i couldnt let this thread go without sending you good luck vibes. it is good to take a step back and give yourself a few days, as you say before jumping to conclusions.

I did something similar a few years ago, i read in a local history book about our village that a man - lets call him John Smith - was hanged for murder, me and my family were shocked that our family could have such a history, as we were determined that John Smith was my mums grandad. I got in touch with a local historian who informed me that the man who was hanged was actually - John Smyth, the history books got the name slightly wrong. So we were all looking in the wrong direction.

However i am wishing you tons and tons of good luck. I think you will find him, certainly with MissMarple ^^ up there!!

Oh and i absolutely agree with MaryZ and wonder if this thread should be moved to Off The Beaten Track? That means it is not googleable, it doesnt take away the main concerns that Mary has raised but does keep names off the internet.

Hello OP

not sure if anybody has said this yet but if you are buying certificates it can be cheaper if you have the page and vol number of the record. Also set up an account with GRO and it is cheaper than buying from ancestry and other sites that do it for you. More leg work, but a good deal cheaper.
So sorry for your losses, and hope you find your family.
I am adopted and found my original family through ancestry, completely by chance after many years of searching.
You have a fair bit of information, something will turn up.
Good luck

longjane I got 1946 B's mother's maiden name (M) from his birth record on FreeBMD and then looked on the same website for a marriage between a B and a M in the same civil reg district and found it in 1940. It looks to be the right couple as they got married in 1940 and proceeded to have 7 children in the birth records from 1942-1956. B is the third child born.

Was thinking the same myself Martha earlier then forgot to mention it to MM.

Good idea.

Well, I appear to have been most unproductive this evening - work to do, read this instead!

Just placemarking wishing you luck, OP.

Also, really interesting what you said about not being too hung up about 'his version' of things. It may not be of any great significance to you, but just the actual raising of the subject (and his response to it) could give you a good measure of the man as/when/if you find him. He sounds a bit of a ... rascal ... whereas you come across as quite lovely, so I hope things work out well for you :)

I've only just seen this thread. How exciting! Best of luck, Missy.

Just finished reading the thread, got everything crossed that one of the bits of information leeds you to the right person

Ooh you've made progress since I last posted!

Continued good luck. :)

MN is awesome!

arhh clarabellabunting i had been doing that search but got no where on ancestry or free BMD

so as they got married in 1940 and if he was canadian then according to the web about RCAF then he more that likely was in the RAF as at that time they were training men in canada and sending them over here .
off to do some more searching

fantastic thread....

I really hope you get to find your dad Missy.

www.vcn.bc.ca/~jeffrey1/tribute.htm

there is is B on this site

i think the local paper might be interested in your grandfather story as it might be a bit different
and have you asked the paper if there are any stories about your father now you know his real name

Best of luck Missy.

Goof luck Missy!

Hope you find your family members soon

Hi, I've just seen this thread and don't have any suggestions, I'm useless genealogy but have my fingers crossed for you!

well there are 2 people on genes reunited that have B 1945 in there tree one of whom name has already been mention up the thread

so 2 people are looking for family

and a different person has a B 1920 canada?
(1920 would be my guess as his age)
on genes reunited

hope these come to some thing

have to get on with my day now

i have not contacted these people on genes reunited