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Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

780 replies

TastesLikePanda · 18/04/2013 17:30

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 20/04/2013 22:15

That cheeky fecker is still the same, Loveis. I stupidly loaned her my car when she said she was desperate one week. She wasn't desperate, and despite saying otherwise, she returned the car with half a tank of petrol less than when she borrowed it, and landed me with a £150 excess repair bill for a problem she had caused. Supposedly, as I earn more money than her, I can pay for her mistakes. And petrol apparently. She has never apologised or said thank you for the loan.

Liara · 20/04/2013 22:25

We live in a house in the middle of nowhere, on a popular hiking route.

One day a group of about 20 Germans wander into our garden. We go out to meet them, politely inquiring what tf they wanted. They did not speak English, but we eventually understood through gestures that they wanted to come and have their picnic inside the house, because it looked like it was going to rain.

We gestured to them to fuck off, much to their evident annoyance, so they settled to have their picnic under the tree as loudly as they could just outside our gate (again, we live in the middle of nowhere, there are literally 2km of fields all round where they could have picnicked).

I had the last laugh when about half an hour later, just after they had cleared out of our tree the heavens opened and they would have gotten the most enormous drenching you can possibly imagine.

expatinscotland · 20/04/2013 22:31

There is NO way I would loan out my car except to PILs, my folks or my sister/BIL. One time and one time only, SIL asked if her partner could borrow it 'for a week'. WTF? DH can be a mug. Until I reminded him, 'Did X (the partner) ever resit his test?' (we knew he'd been banned), you'd better check your insurance.

That put payed to that. They never asked again.

Loveiswhereitfalls · 20/04/2013 22:34

we gestured at them to fuck off Grin

Tidy the suspense waiting for your update when she found out she wasnt getting the takeaway she demanded but a BBQ instead was excruciatingly good !

FatherSpodoKomodo · 20/04/2013 22:50

DH's cousin once phoned at 11pm. It was an emergency plumbing problem, could he come round right now and sort it?

Their swimming pool heater wasn't working.

DH said no, and he'd see them the next day.

BIL borrowed a lot of money off us, and we've never seen it since. We are really struggling for money and he is constantly jetting off around Europe with whichever woman he is dating, and his son has a room full of consoles, 3DTV, ipads/iphones etc. And he still borrows money off other members of the family who are stupid enough to give it to him. DH gave him the money when I was in hospital having DS, so I wasn't around to sort out repayments/say no etc. Still not quite forgiven him for that.

I was chatting to my mum on the phone once when out of the blue she asked me for my post code. I asked her why she needed it, and she said she was putting me down as a guarantor for a loan!! Err, no way! She is notoriously bad with money. She got in a right huff when I refused. I'm so glad she didn't know my post code, or that would have been a shock when I'd had to pay the loan back after she inevitably got into difficulties!

Luckily I've chosen friends who are lovely, so don't have any cheeky friend stories!

Einsty · 20/04/2013 23:04

Once went on holiday with a sour flat mate. She asked me to pay $2 for a share of the petrol to the airport. Which would have been fine-ish if she had not taken it upon herself to grab the two expensive travel guides I had bought for us to use and write in them. We were off to India and she spent the entire trip bitching and moaning about the beggars ... And then arranged a cash transfer of $1000 in the last days so she c

Einsty · 20/04/2013 23:05

Once went on holiday with a arsey flat mate. She asked me to pay $2 for a share of the petrol to the airport. Which would have been fine-ish if she had not taken it upon herself to grab the two expensive travel guides I had bought for us to use and write in them. No offer to contribute. We were off to India and she spent the entire trip bitching and moaning about the beggars ... And then arranged a cash transfer of $1000 in the last days so she could buy fabric for her hobby. Selfish, sour cah.

Einsty · 20/04/2013 23:06

Sorry for double post

picnicbasketcase · 20/04/2013 23:12

Wow, I thought gooseberry lady was the ultimate cheeky fucker, but the NDN Mexican house thief has left me stunned. Unbelievable.

ErrorError · 20/04/2013 23:18

Okay a few more tales from the bacon snatcher:

Went on holiday with this woman with a few other friends - mistake! We shared a room and there was this big double bed and a tiny rickety camp cot. I volunteered to sleep on the camp cot the first week if we switched for the second, she agreed. After 1st week I asked about the beds again but she got shifty and said it was too much hassle to change over now. Annoyingly, she spent a good portion of every night moaning about how uncomfortable the bed was! Take my death trap then you cow.

She didn't want to pay for half of the hotel's rate for daily air conditioning (and I couldn't afford the whole rate myself), so we left the balcony door open when we were in the room, but at night she complained about the noise and bugs so we sweltered in 40 degree heat because of her stinginess.

Same holiday, all inclusive. All sat by the pool, and whenever one of us got up to get a drink from the pool bar we politely offered to get the others something. She was the first to request drinks ("oh get me 2, one for later") but when she went to the bar she never offered (a minor irritation you may think, but it was constant, we all noticed.) Next time I went up I got a drink in either hand and as I walked into her view, cheerfully took a sip from both glasses with 2 straws. 5 mins later she got up huffily saying "I suppose I'll get a drink then!" 1-0 ErrorError!

She also tried to weasel out of paying when I reminded everyone that we owed one friend some Euros for the hotel transfer. The rest of us sat calculating while she remained totally silent and pretended to be engrossed on her phone. I still don't know if she paid.

Other things include:

Borrowing a massive stack of books from me and never returning them, found out later she had lent them to someone else and they hadn't returned them to her.

Overstaying her welcome so many times that she knew when tea time was, and following that, turned up at teatime knowing she'd be offered some (am way too polite) then fucking off afterwards. When I finally cottoned on I was being used as a restaurant, she turned up one day and I purposefully didn't have tea ready or any inclination of preparing anything. She eventually left at 11pm and I was starving but I was finally getting through. I randomised teatime after that.

Asked to come and visit my new kittens, she lived not far away so said she would walk down. I said fine. She brought her dog, a v hyperactive terrier! I didn't want it frightening my kittens but she insisted it would be fine. She was already coming in the porch so I had to hastily round up my kittens into another room. I should have put my foot down but was put on the spot and didn't know how else to react.

On a night out, mysteriously disappeared before her round was due, came back and when I said it was her turn, she "thought we weren't doing rounds", even though 2 others of us had already done ours. She then waited til near then end of the night when most people had gone home, bought 1 of the group a drink. a £1.50 shot.

That's not even half of it but I don't want to hijack the thread. Still mostly peeved about the bacon thievery though! Phew that was cathartic! Grin

bonnieslilsister · 21/04/2013 00:05

Love this thread!

My MIL came to visit when we were just back from honeymoon. I didn't know her very well in those days. She randomly produced a wall paper boarder from her bag and asked us if we liked it.

When she had left and it was night time we went up to the top floor to bed and the boarder was pasted on the wall in the corridor!

I can't believe it was never mentioned by us to her ever. I have grown up a lot since then and anyway I'm divorced from that mad family Grin

JackieTheFart · 21/04/2013 00:14

You know what, I thought the OPs story was the worst of the worst - then I read Mexican house thief story! Wow - I never knew people could be such shitbags.

I can't think of any more annoying than my friend in high school constantly borrowing clothes and returning them weeks later having clearing been worn to death and never washed. She was a bit of a minger though.

QuintessentialOHara · 21/04/2013 00:22

Dhs friend came to visit us in Norway with his children. We had a miniholiday staying in rented apartments for a skiing weekend, which we paid for as they were our guests. We paid for evening out eating pizza, and lunch during skiing the following day. They borrowed our car for the duration and caused damage worth £600 which he did not feel right about chipping in for, as "it was an old car" (sure, but the undercarriage would not have been ripped off had he not decided going offroading with it!) I had borrowed mums car for us. At home, I did all the shopping and all the cooking. When they left he told me "Btw, I bought a frozen pizza the other day, and I am leaving it in the freezer, it was £3, I hope you dont find me cheeky to ask you for cash to cover it". Shock

I did manage to say "Oh good, you want to do this now? I have the receipts for all the groceries the last two weeks right here ...."

Einsty · 21/04/2013 00:25

Jesus H Christ. I merrily popped in to recount one memory of miserable holiday with tightwad without reading full thread. Have had to massively revise my own definition of cheekiness, to take into account stealth bridesmaids and Mexican house thieves. I have not lived.

Crocodilehunter · 21/04/2013 02:07

I have loads of these but most recent was Mother's Day it was my first ever Mother's Day as a mum, my DP bought me some lovely cupcakes, we were getting ready to do the rounds to the GMs and DP says "we're taking some of these round for my mum aren't we, I feel really bad we haven't got her anything"
We got nothing for my DM either due to new baby, new house, maternity pay etc the bastard I would have shared anyway but that's not the point the fucking fucker
When I mentioned it he just said 'oh get over it' and laughed, like i said the fucking fucker Angry Grin

TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 07:14

Quint, what did he say about that?! What a freeloader!

Crocodilehunter - I'm not seeing the cheekiness in your story. What am I missing?

TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 07:17

On the subject of holiday though, I went away quite recently with a friend for a short break, and she paid for nothing food wise while we were there. Took herself off on day trips that I couldn't afford (because I was paying for our food, you selfish cow!). We had deliberately set ourselves a budget for the break, and she evidently decided that I could fund her essentials so she could go do fun stuff without going outside of budget. She does have form for this, but that stunned me full stop. She still has not offered to pay. I limit my time around her now.

onefewernow · 21/04/2013 08:17

My ex nanny had asked me for a couple of boxes of Brio when she became pregnant. I said probably, Ds would have grown out if it by then.

She moved house to another town and rang one day to visit " if would be lovely to see the kids etc".

On the day, she arrived, and with her H, and the children had made done cakes for her visit. I let them in, and went to the kitchen to make drinks. When I got back to the room we used as a playroom, she had just finished emptying the second box into a bin liner. She said " oh, I won't stop for a drink thanks, we are all over town busy today, "

She handed her H the bag, headed for the door, and was gone in less than five minutes!

onefewernow · 21/04/2013 08:22

Another one.

A neighbours childminder suddenly stopped work and she asked if ours would help her out after school a couple of days a week. Her daughter was friends with our dd so we said yes. She used us for two whole terms, and never paid a penny towards it, or even got our nanny or us a card as thank you. During the summer holiday, I was having a planned Caesarian so asked her if she would have our daughter from 8-4 so H could attend. She refused on the basis that " she wasn't clear what her plans were yet over the summer, as they intended to take a lot of day trips".

EccentricElastic · 21/04/2013 08:59

Mine happened about 30 years ago, but still pops into my head now and again if I need reminding of how to say no to anyone.

A friend and myself booked a seaside cottage for a weeks break. We were both single parents each of a young boy -hers was 6, mine 9 Yo at the time.
I drove us all the way there which made me quite tired, so the next day I was looking forward to a lazy day. but no, she sulked because SHE wanted to go off for the day, so even though my legs were killing me and i didn't feel too good but couldn't quite put my finger on it, I got back in the driving seat and out we went (I didn't realise at that time I was suffering from fibromyalgia as I hadn't been diagnosed then). Anyway, long day out, early to bed for me. Next morning, woke to see my face looking rather lopsided and stranger than usual (found out later I'd had a mild stroke) and had a grotty headache, but when I mentioned this I just got 'oh, have some coffee you'll be ok....there's a lovely place I want to go to today', so again I had to drive (she couldn't).
Following day, I put my foot down and insisted on a lazy day for me - the boys were happy on the beach where we could see them - so she went off for another sulk (after telling me that I was a pain, and just another nail in her coffin that she could do without). Three hours later her boyfriend turned up (she'd phoned him with a tale of woe) and before I could stop her they went off for the day, leaving her son with me.
They rolled back in at around midnight - obviously merry with alcohol - and went to bed. Soon the cottage was filled first with low groans, rising to ecstatic shrieks etc - you know the thing dontcha! Eventually (5am) I'd had enough....went and knocked on the door and said I was making a cuppa, would they like one to help them sleep? The door was flung open by her, and I was given a mouthful of abuse as to my inconsideration and rudeness, before being slammed back in my face!
By 7.30 am the boys were up full of energy, I was reeling from tiredness, and there was no sign of myf or her bf. So took the boys out after breakfast, came back a couple of hours later, still no sign. As I was getting lunch ready, the unmistakable groaning and squealing was permeating the air once more........

I WAS LIVID!!!!!!
I sat the boys on the patio to eat their lunch ......and then lost it!!!!!

I grabbed a couple of buckets from under the sink, filled them with cold water, walked straight into my friends room and threw both buckets of icy cold water over the pair of them (this was pre politically correct times, you could do things like that then without being shot for it). Whilst they were recovering from that, I grabbed all her stuff, threw it out of the cottage....and them after it!

Ten minutes later a rather bedraggled and now ex friend banged on the door, said she was leaving, and demanded half the money for the cost of the cottage back. She didn't get it though and went off moaning about what a mess she looked, and who was going to look after her son , etc, wtc, etc!!!!

I've never seen her since!!!!

LindyHemming · 21/04/2013 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOneWithTheHair · 21/04/2013 09:08

EccentricElastic that is fantastic! Good for you. Grin

QuintessentialOHara · 21/04/2013 09:27

TidayDancer He decided that on second thoughts, he was taking his frozen pizza with him, on an 8 hour long train ride.....

fuzzpig · 21/04/2013 09:36

I'm being cheeky here (:o) but TidyDancer do you remember the title of the BBQ/takeaway thread? I'd love to read it!

SomethingAboutNothing · 21/04/2013 09:53

Oooh, I had a stealth flower girl! Not quite as cheeky as the bridesmaid story but still pretty cheeky in my book!

DH's two nieces on his DM's side were to be flower girls, we had brought them white dresses and baskets with petals for them to sprinkle as they walked down the aisle. On the day of the wedding I arrived at the venue and counted three flower girls in white dresses - DH's niece from his DF's side of the family, who we barely know (DFIL's previous marriage), and they don't make much effort at all with the family, had been dressed in a monsoon flower girls dress and joined the other two to walk down the aisle.

I didn't want to make a scene so just let her - it was clearly her pushy mum who had decided she was going to be part of the day. The worst bit was - the little girl hadn't even been invited to the wedding in the first place!