For the first time ever DH & DS went off to do the xmas food shop......I am still laughing...

[Megglevache]

...his parting words
"don't look worried Mrs MLV...I got this"

he spent almost £300

he bought amoungst other things
12 pack of kitchen roll
24 luxury toilet rolls- the type that are about 12 tog and will block up our feeble pipes
A partridge
8 different olives
Masses and masses of lemon jelly???
Premier Champagne (he's teetotal) I drink Cava
Popcorn (with sour cream and chives Heresy
the whole biscuit aisle
a farking Heston Blumenthrill cake (£25!!!???)
a crate of festive cheeses
8lb gammon
salmon
bike helmet
fancy bubble bath
posh candles (that smell)

Please share with me tales of bizarre shopping to take off the edge..

PS.. I am still laughing every time I open up the fridge...(which has hardly anything in it)

[naughtycloud1]

like the festive cheese and champagne 25pounds for cake gamon nice the rest

[Megglevache]

duck eggs

honestly...we have NEVER had duck eggs..
I'm going to have to photograph all this aren't I??? Or you'll not believe me...
Jumbo cashew nuts
mini cheddars
the biggest jar of gherkins I have ever held...I thought he may have won these in a competition along the way....

[EuroShagmore]

I'm loving this thread. I'm reading it out to Mr Euro and it is making him look practical!

[GirlsonFilm]

Tea Cakes - that gluten free seasonal treat pmsl.....but admire your calmness in the face of his (enthusiastic) Christmas madness

[openerofjars]

Aw, bless him. He's actually lugging a whole woolly mammoth back to the cave, isn't he?

My DH is currently in the kitchen, being worried about an enormous ham... Man vs meat.

[LollipopViolet]

A partridge?

Is he going to B&Q for the pear tree, then?

Oh dear, I shouldn't laugh really as that's a LOT of money, but I am. Sorry.

[QODRestYeMerryGentlemen]

Oh bless him!

My dh went shopping with dd yesterday to get me a present and came back with cargo trousers, for him, that were too small.

Even though he's put on 2 stones he just can't accept that logically his hips have spread. The shops have changed their sizing ;)

[guanosoup]

My lovely dh went to town this morning, we are now the proud owners of a chicken, a joint of pork, 2 pots of pea and spinach soup, some organic fiery ginger cordial,
and last but not least, a bottle of organic pure agave sweetener. I have no clue what we are to do with that...!

On the other hand, we have no bread or cheese

[Meglet]

'Glad' to know other people can't use fancy toilet paper as it blocks the loo. I thought it was just my house, budget loo roll here or it gets stuck.

[Megglevache]

More Olives.....oh..these ones have been "tumbled" with fennel

What the fark...

[quirrelquarrel]

bike helmet??


poor little guinny on my tummy's getting all shaken from my giggles

[snowflakehellokitty]

no pear tree

[quirrelquarrel]

I think my parents will have spent about £25 plus champagne on Xmas food!! they're buying salty nuts like there's no tomorrow though? i have no idea why> everywhere i look there's a new packet inc under the tree!

(typing one handed, piggy is all stretched out with his foot in the air and he's gone all heavy- most adorable sight ever)

[Megglevache]

I promise later I will photograph...
I may be preoccupied setting up my pop up olive stall outside me house though :-)
pate
and the BEST...shampoo...
My dh has no hair....
"dammit, I thought this was bubble bath" More???

[strumpetpumpkin]

If I send dp to do a shop, he generally comes back with about a hundredquids worth of exotic yoghurts and GU desserts, more tropicana than we can fit in the fridge, some steak and a packet of pasta

[Megglevache]

I'm loving "shops sizing has gone all squiff" husband in denial :-)
These duck eggs are called "posh birds"

[quirrelquarrel]

This thread is so cheering me up

So is the decision I've taken to do some of my essay today cos I can't bear it hanging over me!

[topsyturner]

Checks lavaches profile for address , cos I want to spend Christmas in your house !

[ohforfoxsake]

priceless!

[TessGoesDirectToBethlehem]

Meggle Your DH sounds absolutely brilliant.

Okay, you might not be able to sustain this lifestyle beyond Christmas but it's like he has gone out and bought all of life's luxuries in one shop - regardless of whether they are needed - and his intention is to make it a very merry christmas.

[FreeButtonChristmasTree]

Lololol. This is hilarious. WHY did he feel thzt you needed more olives?!

My DH has decided that this avvo is the perfect time to pack the loft (we're mvoing house in 3 weeks)! My hall is full of boxes...

[LittleBairn]

I would LOVE DH to buy fancy loo paper but we have crappy piping if we use anything other than sainsburys cheap paper it blocks within a day. DH is SOOO pleased to to save the £ loo paper I fear I will never have a comfortable quilted wipe again.

I love it when my DH goes shopping too, he never quite manages to get an actual meal but he will buy the contents of the snack isle. He has no logic.
Today he considered picking Up a tub of fancy Italian ice cream from the ice cream parlour before it closes but then decidedly it's best not because he will sit around on his arse all Christmas getting fat.....instead he bought umpteen bars of chocolate, nuts and crisps.

[Sparklingbrook]

I am wondering if I need some 'jumbo malaise'.

Is he going out again in a bit to follow the 'mark down man' round the supermarket just before closing? He really should. Think of the bargains.

[LivingInAPinkBauble]

Loving this thread! Giggling away as although I have a DH who is good at food shopping he clearly has no idea about surprise presents! He asked me for ideas and amongst other things I suggested stud earrings. So far he has rung me to ask where the shop I suggested was, whether I can wear white gold (yellow gold makes my ears swell, I don't get it either!) and if I like heart shapes. Either this is an elaborate ruse or there will be heart shaped earrings to open tomorrow!

Mind you, we shopped this morning and I dropped him at work whilst I came home and unpacked it. I have found some random extra things that he has shoved in, he put it all in bags whilst I grabbed something we had forgotten, so my first chance to see everything!

Merry Christmas!

[INeedThatForkOff]

My DH wouldn't buy any biscuits at all. Instead he would buy tonnes of veg (half of which would go to waste), wholewheat pasta , oatcakes, six types of hummus and various tinned beans. No meat (we're not vegetarian). OP, will you send you DH to pick up a few bits for me too?