For the first time ever DH & DS went off to do the xmas food shop......I am still laughing...

[Megglevache]

...his parting words
"don't look worried Mrs MLV...I got this"

he spent almost £300

he bought amoungst other things
12 pack of kitchen roll
24 luxury toilet rolls- the type that are about 12 tog and will block up our feeble pipes
A partridge
8 different olives
Masses and masses of lemon jelly???
Premier Champagne (he's teetotal) I drink Cava
Popcorn (with sour cream and chives Heresy
the whole biscuit aisle
a farking Heston Blumenthrill cake (£25!!!???)
a crate of festive cheeses
8lb gammon
salmon
bike helmet
fancy bubble bath
posh candles (that smell)

Please share with me tales of bizarre shopping to take off the edge..

PS.. I am still laughing every time I open up the fridge...(which has hardly anything in it)

I love this! Especially the scented cards, how thoughtful.

tee hee x xx remember it s the thought that counts "!!

brilliant! Is he partial to a bit of jelly then?

£300?????

I'd fucking kill him not laugh.

Seriously I can feed all of us 3 for a month on that!

I would be sobbing.

A partridge! Did you ask for a partridge or was it an impulse buy?

Did he get bacon? You need bacon.

ooooh which Heston cake was it? DP is absolutely SHIT at shopping, I have to write him lists complete with where a bouts he will find some things in sainsburys.

Loving the random bike helmet!

the CLASSIC thing is I cannot eat gluten and there is little for me to eat...didn't fancy partridge and Olive fritatta for my brekkie...

he s now out as he declared "I will just get the last minute grocery items..the essentials I missed"

That'll be Dyoralite and a goat on a lead then

I am in a sick way really looking forwards to seeing what he has ...hehe

Have a lovely bath, light the candles, have a glass of champagne and sleep under the 12 tog toilet rolls

Bossy what can I do? I can't take the stuff back- well maybe the bike helmet

I could do the same and feed me and the kids for aaaaages on that.

He said he will treat me (erm....I do like olives)

His xmas bonus went

LOL. I'm sorry but that made me giggle! DH is similar but not bad. I do send him with a list, but somehow he doesn't always follow it!

I do NOT ask him for cabbage..
He said "I got this"

He had only just got out of the hospital (I'm not going to shout at the poor lamb ) My mum used to do stuff like that and us kids would be angsty all xmas...

I didn;t ask him for anything.

He did not get bacon... but he did get 5 packets of chestnuts...

Must say I'm impressed with

"The whole biscuit aisle"

Mine wouldn't bought more than a couple of packets

I may put a wallpaper table outside the house and put the Rocky Roads "bites in greeseproof papaer and flog them on...

PMSL @ goat on a lead.....

It sounds like a very strange bag they would produce on Ready Steady Cook. I hope he comes back with something resembling the ingredients for an actual meal.

DH likes to buy the whole contents of the bakery on his outings.

I frequently write and NO BISCUITS on lists as DH automatically adds biscuits, beer and doughnuts to all shopping trips.

Beer lasts for ages, doughnuts I can resist, but biscuits we don't need. Everyone is silly and eats far too many.

So erm where's the food? :o

We've had such an awful awful few months that I am glad we are all healthy and happy and I've never eaten phesant.

Like I said, weirdly my dad used to do this kind of caper (trying to help) and my mum would screetch the whole festive season...it was stressful...

I will....ummm just drink Miso soup and try Port for the first time (yes that was on the list too)

PS- he never eats jelly

I think that sounds brilliant - you're going to have such fun with all that wieird and wonderful food. One of my happiest memories from childhood Christmasses is my dad going into all the posh shops at 5pm on Christmas Eve when they did their mark downs and coming back with totally random food which we'd then eat all Christmas.

Light the candles and snuggle down with the popcorn and the wonderful champagne.

Whats he going to eat when you eat the partridge as it will only feed one.

GingerbreadMac...it was one that looks like a christmas pudding but it says choc cake on it. (i iwll not google it) Not like I can even have some.

My DH is not too bad on the getting useful stuff front, but last night he decided to go the the supermarket at midnight to pick up some last minute stuff (he doesn't normally get involved with Christmas food shopping).

I went and he said "There'll be no-one there than time of night."

Cue much laughter on my part when he phone at 11.55pm to tell me:

"There's a queue to get into the shop!!!"

I think "No shit Sherlock," may have been my reply.

Grendel- he doesn't drink