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Original poster

Just had the worst job interview ever. Anyone else care to share?

348 replies

EggNogRules · 26/11/2012 13:01

I am morto Blush and Angry at myself. I was in and out in 20 mins Shock.

I am used to initiating meeting with new clients and thought I had prepared well. I was so nervous, I had to keep drinking water to stop my lips from sticking to my teeth. It was all I could think about. None of the answers I prepared were useful. I need to rewind and do over because I have better answers now (after the nick of time).

Bugger.

OP posts:
HoratiaWinwood · 27/11/2012 14:14

leave your potato at home

Howling so loud I woke the baby! Hmm

YankTeeDoodleDanTee · 27/11/2012 15:15

These are quite amusing, from the other side of the desk!

Kendodd · 27/11/2012 15:20

I fear this might out me but...

A friend of mine went to an interview with his toddlers poo in his pocket (he didn't know it was there). He was in reception waiting to be called in when he smelt something, he tracked the smell down to his pocket, put his hand in his pocket and there it was, now all over his fingers. Just then the person interviewing him came out and held out his hand to shake hands. My friend had to confess that one of his kids had pooed in his pocket so he couldn't shake hands. After sorting himself out a bit he went into the interview and the panel of three were just trying their best not to laugh the whole time.

He got the job!

chocolatesolveseverything · 27/11/2012 15:24

kendodd that's hilarious!

worldgonecrazy · 27/11/2012 15:25

Haven't read all the thread yet - but will go back once I've typed this because this is a great thread.

My worst interview was yet another agency interview for a completely unsuitable role. The agency insisted on sending me to jobs, describing them as perfect for me, and then when I actually turned up for interview, it quickly became clear that neither I nor the client were suited. I'd usually cut the interview short and apologise for wasting time. For some reason a couple of them still tried to get me to work for them even when I'd said no.

But that's nowhere near as bad as an interview my colleague had. It was for a union organisation that shall remain nameless. This organisation believed in complete fairness, so whilst sat outside the room, waiting for the interview to start, my colleague was handed a sheet of paper with a list of questions. He had to go into the room, in front of a panel of three people, and answer each question in turn. The people in the room did not speak to him, not even to say hello, in case they ventured off script or made the interview biased in some way. He ran as fast as he could!

Selks · 27/11/2012 15:50

Loving this thread!

Potatos, poo in pocket, lost shoes......chortle Grin

Bearface · 27/11/2012 15:50

This is such a funny thread.

Well, let's see . . .

There was the time I spilt my coffee all over the reception desk (receptionist was in the loo) and not being able to find anything to clear it up with used my hand to sweep it onto the floor. Just at this moment the CEO who was interviewing me appears and I have to tell him I can't shake his hand because I have coffee on it. Not as bad as the poo one from KenDodd.

Then there's the one where in response to something I'd asked the interviewer said, 'Look, I'm asking the questions, not you!' I can't even remember what it was I said, but I know it wouldn't have been crazy aggressive.

The one where my bra came undone at the back in the middle of the interview. That must ahve been funny to witness. I was very Blush because I was so young but now, I would have trouble keeping a straight face.

The one where my underwire came out of my bra and I had to pull it out and discard it when they weren't looking. Dodgy bra central in my house . . .

CajaDeLaMemoria · 27/11/2012 15:56

Bearface - I wore an old school shirt to my first interview. I had bought a new bigger one, but managed to iron a hole in it.

School shirt burst just after the interviewer sat down. The button over my boobs popped off, and my shirt bulged open - and the button bounced around his desk. He gave it back to me. I was mortified.

(EggNog - Thank you. It looks like I might avoid an interview! I've just been asked about salary/start dates. Very nervous!)

complexnumber · 27/11/2012 16:23

I went for an interview at a Uni to study a Chemistry degree. I don't really know why I was so startled when I was asked a question about chemistry, but I started my answer by stating that the chemical formula for water was
H O two. It all went downhill from there.

(I ended up doing a maths degree)

bitsnbobs · 27/11/2012 16:27

My worst interview was for a job at a bakery. On the way off the bus the driver shut my face in the doors! So I had black lines down either side of my face. I then proceeded to fall down the subway steps and laddered my tights. When I got in for the interview I went to wait in an empty room I thought it would be a good idea to take tights off, on doing so I saw a CCTV looking down on me. Then the actual interview was done by a total perv of a man and I never got the job. So yes that was my worst interview EVER Blush

Bearface · 27/11/2012 16:43

Oh Caja and bitsnbobs - I'm roaring with laughter on my own here!

I've just thought of another one from not that long ago where the three interviewers couldn't have been less interested in me. It was for a teaching related job but in a high profile private company. One interviewer in particular was rolling her eyes, yawning and looking at her watch on several occasions, cutting short my answers, making rude, snotty, offhand comments to put me off, that kind of thing. Another bloke said at the start,' Don't worry, you just start without me. I'm going to get a drink. I've heard it all before.'

So, I thought, you're not getting away with this, making me come all this way (an hour and a half from home) and go to this trouble and expense and then treating me like this. So, having cottoned on fairly early on, I answered every question as fully as I could and ignored the woman who was cutting me off by interrupting her as politely as I could in order to extend my answers. Then at the end when they asked me if I had any questions I asked, 'What are your individual backgrounds then?' and they each had to tell me what qualified them to do their job, which as it turned out wasn't that much and I managed to make the interview overrun just to spite them. I know I should have left and it's a bit petty, but I wanted to make them squirm a but, which they did. Needless to say, I didn't get it, but I knew that within ten minutes of being there.

Bearface · 27/11/2012 17:11

I'd forgotten the one where someone who interviewed me had odd shoes and her top on inside out. When she realised she laughed and apologised and said, 'That's what happens when you get dressed in the dark!'

YouCanBe · 27/11/2012 17:44

I thought I had done Ok in the interview then looked down on the tube to see my shirt had popped open, two buttons, revealing my cleavage and bra to the world. They offered me the job and I decided it must have happened after I had left. Then four years later at my leaving do my perfectly respectful manager made an unexpected and unwanted very-drunken pass at me and said he would always remember my tits at the interview and my lovely underwear. I hope that wasn't why I got the job.

jen127 · 27/11/2012 17:54

I was being interviewed for a job by two engineers - one I knew. I was about 23 and they asked me did I plan to have children? I asked if they asked the men they were interviewing that same question - they said no ? That the men were all single. I asked were they virgins ??
I didn't get that one !

WankbadgersBreakfast · 27/11/2012 18:01

goralka Surprisingly, no. Must have objected to their office smelling of puke or something?

chipping Aaaah well. I'll laugh next month Grin

Silibilimili · 27/11/2012 20:56

What a brilliant thread!

Lol at the poo in the jacket. How !?

ImperialBlether · 27/11/2012 21:16

I fell asleep in an interview when I was about 20.

It was a secretarial job, working for a large computer company, back when computers were the size of a warehouse. I made the mistake of asking him what he did in his job and I swear to god it was like a sleeping pill.

You know when you're on a train and you fall asleep and your head keeps jerking? And you drool and wipe your mouth with your hand? That was me.

ninah · 27/11/2012 21:43

I had a teaching interview for a job I really wanted. I decided to do my lesson on shape and to hide all kinds of everyday shape objects in the outside environment so arranged to go in earlier and set up. Just before the interview started a dinner lady came through into the foyer clutching cuboids of custard powder and a toblerone box etc mutting I don't know how all this stuff gets in here

mummyonvalium · 27/11/2012 21:47

My worst interview answer:

Interviewer asks me: "so do you know much about our firm, tell me what our specialty is?"

Me in a blank moment: "something beginning with e - got it employment law!"
(it was all I could think of beginning with e)

Did not get that job. Shame it was a really good one.

thecook · 27/11/2012 22:09

I went for a job as a secretary/PA in a really posh club in London. Members included royalty. Early on that morning I had to drop two small cats I had found abandoned off at the vets to be neutered. Why I decided to tell the interviewing panel that one had done a poo in the taxi and how it stunk the taxi out I will never know. I didn't get the job.

FobblyWoof · 27/11/2012 22:32

When I was 17 I went for an interview at a high street clothes shop. The questions weren't hard but I just couldn't think of anything to say, waffled on for a while and said "and things like that" after every bloody sentence.

What made it worse was that I knew I was doing it and cringed every time but just couldn't stop. I'm Blush just thinking about it now

Original poster
EggNogRules · 27/11/2012 22:40

This thread is top of the discussions of the day on my luffly new Android app. That is going on my cv; don't they know who I am? Grin (I suspect they doWink ).

They must let me down soon. Looking shoreward to their feedback. Things could have been much, much worse. I didn't have poo in my pocket; undies on show; a potato; the wrong date or time; a bucket of sick, etc... Off to bed. Smile

Poo in my pocket;
Undies on show?

OP posts:
littlemrssleepy · 27/11/2012 22:45

I once interviewed someone and started off the interview with the normal question "what appeals to you about the role". To which they replied, "To be honest with you, I was a bit surprised to get called to interview. I didn't apply for the job. I think my mum must have done it for me".

SmethwickBelle · 27/11/2012 22:50

I went for a sales job when I was fresh out of University and anxiously asked the whole way through if it would be a problem if I wasn't very good at selling.

I mean 10/10 for honestly but how did I think that would come across? And then I was so gutted when I didn't get it! It took me a few years to look back and go "Ah, yes, I probably could have played that a bit differently". Yes I am a bit dense like that. Blush

Silibilimili · 27/11/2012 23:07

I have another one.

It's not an interview but a networking opportunity. So, after work, I go off to a talk by the institute of which I am a member to a swanky London venue. The talk goes nicely and it was fascinating. The guy doing the talk was a very distinguished person in the field. Old, bold (this is relevant) and not so tall. Nothing distinguished about his looks.

So after the talk there is a networking opportunity, a glass of wine and canapés.

I spot the speaker on his own. I make a beeline to go have a chat. Introduce myself. Say how great the talk was. The guy looks more and more confused. Then I see a light bulb moment happen with him. He say, 'you g lady, I think you think you are talking to the speaker'. BlushBlush
Mortified.
So by then there are 2 or three other blokes in our group, laughing. I've just had a glass and my reaction is to laugh and be embarrassed if that is possible.
I still cringe. Have not told anyone this in rl.