Just had the worst job interview ever. Anyone else care to share?

[EggNogRules]

I am morto and at myself. I was in and out in 20 mins .

I am used to initiating meeting with new clients and thought I had prepared well. I was so nervous, I had to keep drinking water to stop my lips from sticking to my teeth. It was all I could think about. None of the answers I prepared were useful. I need to rewind and do over because I have better answers now (after the nick of time).

Bugger.

[Doughnutmaestro]

Love it! I'm terrible at interviews but one was particularly bad, I got every question completely wrong, stood at the back and occasionally barked orders at the rest of my team (build a bridge from straws...) I was totally anxious and when they said "why do you think you would like to work here (kids tourist attraction) I said and still cringe my boyfriend works here and he could give me a lift to work-- didn't get the job, good thing too as they laid off all the staff a few months later (the week before christmas) and hired students who were cheaper. Kept the boyfriend though and 13 years later is my dh.

[Campari]

My most embarrassing experience was when I was the interviewer.
At the time I was working at a riding holiday centre, & it was a live-in job so I had a small flat next door to the main office. A lot of people actually mistook my flat as the reception door unfortunately.
One afternoon after finishing work for the day, Id gone into my flat to shower and have a glass of wine..when lo & behold, the door pops open & a girl walks in as Im standing there in pyjamas, towel on head & me drinking my wine..she says "hi I'm here to speak to Campari, Ive come for my interview sorry I'm late..."
Well, bugger me sideways!!! . I was in such a fluster, totally offguard...so I ended up reading the riot act to her about waltzing into private staff residences & that it was after hours & us staff have lives outside of work.

It was years ago, but to this day I am mortified with how I reacted...must have been the Sauvignon Blanc.

[estrella79]

I did what I thought was a good interview for a journalism position on a local newspaper - I really wanted the job, so much so I would have been prepared to relocate to take it. I was told I'd hear whether I'd been successful within a week. A fortnight later I'd heard nothing so telephoned them - they denied all knowledge of ever meeting me! Eventually I learned through the grapevine that instead of recruiting anyone they'd decided to spread the work between existing employees to save money. Cheers for telling me!!!!

Another journalism interview I have to confess I deliberately sabotaged, because the editor seriously gave me the creeps. "That's a nice dress you're wearing" he said as I entered the room. "It would look even better on my bedroom floor." Yuck!! When he asked me: "What newspapers do you read?" I answered: "None, they bore me, I prefer to watch the news on TV." I was overjoyed when I didn't get the job...

[JambalayaCodfishPie]

Thank you, everyone who contributed to this wonderful thread.

I had, what I thought was a bad interview today. I searched the boards and..... well, I feel better now.

[Pawprint]

This thread is fab!

I went for an interview for a PR company that represented women's magazines. The guy who interviewed me suddenly grabbed my hand to 'check there isn't a wedding ring'. He also interviewed me over a glass table because he said he liked to look at women's legs through it.

I was so shocked by all of this, I started to nervously giggle. He then told me I had a good chance of getting the job but I later heard that he hadn't even invited me for a second interview.

The only good thing was that he gave me a massive stack of magazines to take home with me!

Another time, I was interviewed by a lady with a rather odd accent. She asked me if I'd had any experience of shifts. I thought she said 'Chefs' so I babbled on for ages about how I'd organised a large cocktail party for some clients in my previous job. The atmosphere was uncomfortable and I didn't get the job.

I have been for so many interviews and cocked so many up. Funnily enough, the one time I sailed through an interview and was employed straight away was for a job I didn't really want. I felt I couldn't turn down the job so accepted it. I worked there for a miserable year before finally resigning.

[mirry2]

Fryonefat -well done. I wish I'd doent hat on a few occasions but never had the presence of mind.

[mirry2]

Just realised I've just responded to a post written in november 2012!

[ongoingjourney]

i had the worst job interview today... for a key holder position.. everything was going well until I the interviewer asked what were my strengths and weaknesses.. mind you, i practiced this answers the whole day prior to the interview.. I got through my strengths fine, but when asked my weakness .. i was honest and said "i can be a bit emotional" .. he asked me to explain, so i did, but once i started the water works also started.. I tried so hard to hold back the tears.. we continued the interview, but I have no clue if i got it :( ..

[QueenTea33]

I went for a job in a shop when I was about 18. The interview went pretty well, but they had lost my application form and asked if I would fill another one in. I agreed and the boss put me in the staff room because she had other people to interview. The staff room was tiny, it only had a table and chairs and staff lockers in it.

Anyway, I was filling it in and one of the staff members came in for something, but on her way out, she locked the door.

I didn't realise until I finished the form and went to open the door. I'm claustrophobic so I ended up freaking out, banging on the door, shouting, screaming and eventually crying. I was only stuck in there for 5 minutes, but I was an absolute state when the boss opened the door. I ran passed her, legged it down the stairs and flew out of the shop for some air.

She came outside to me and calmed me down, but I felt absolutely mortified. She offered me the job, but I couldn't take it after all that. I never set foot in that shop again.

[Humpyrumpy]

Oh my cheeks are burning. This is recent and still raw.
Short listed for v much wanted senior role. Had stinking cold at the time and was having trouble speaking. One Weeks notice of interview and a heavy workload, not to mention the pre Xmas prep that all Mums do, meant I finished my presentation at 1.30 am the morning of the interview, and then stupidly answered my phone at 7:00 for a work related call that I had to follow up, and so had to rush my hair and make up.
Pulled safe interview suit out of cupboard, only to discover it didn't fit. I has lost weight, but not realised just how big the trousers were. Decided to wear it anyway and keep jacket on.
Struggled to speak through presentation, made worse by having to compete with trains noisily rumbling past, and struggled to make myself heard.
Finally got to interview, and was so ill and exhausted that I just couldn't say anything coherent or sensible, so waffled on like I had a death wish. The cues from the panel told me I wasn't giving the answers they wanted, but still I carried on waffling, looking and feeling like death warmed up and attired like a sack of spuds.
And no I didn't get the job.

[stinkingbishop]

DP interviewed for the JET scheme (teaching in Japan) at Uni.

Q - what books would you recommend to Japanese students to get a feel for modern Britain?
A - er...A Year In Provence? Oh and Dickens. Definitely Dickens.

Needless to say, he didn't partake in the JET scheme.

[GwenStacy]

I had an interview in a record shop and was asked what my favourite album was. I answered, and the interviewer asked what my least favourite album by this band was. I answered and then elaborated on how I hated the production on it, that I thought it was really over produced and that I tended to listen to live versions of the tracks instead.

At the end of the interview he revealed he was a producer on the second album :-(

[animalmagic84]

A friend of mine went for an interview at a well known large company. They asked at the end "do you have any questions for us?"

Now the question she was meant to ask was "do you find there are any elements of nepotism at XXXX?"

What she actually asked was "do you find there are any elements of necrophilia at XXXX?"

Amazingly, she still got the job!

[LaceyLitch]

Had the worst interview of my life today so google searched to read other peoples stories and have been laughing at this for hours.

So I am entering into a new industry - I have a lot of transferable skills but no obviously no first hand experience of what the job really entails in depth.

Interviewer was 30 mins late with no explanation or apology, I would have probably left at this point as I was already not getting a good 'vibe' from the office IYKWIM, but as a recruiter set it up for me I didn't want to give her a bad rep or for her to stop helping me.

Anyway it was a 2 person interview with 2 blokes who seem pissed off that I was there taking up their time. One was sighing rolling his eyes, looking round the room in boredom. They kept asking me really obtuse questions and when I took more than 2 secs to answer would repeat it aggressively and then when I did reply would cut me off or talk over me. Basically mocked my previous experience and made me feel totally stupid.

I am usually a confident, thick skinned person but I just lost it and started crying, that sort of crying that you can't stop no matter how much you want to, tears keep coming out. Excused myself and left and cried on the tube all the way home!

It has made it much easier to get over knowing that stuffing up one interview isn't the be all end all.

When I spoke to my recruiter later she told me to fuck them off and forget about it as I have been asked back for a 3rd interview with the company I really want to work for! Here's hoping it goes well!

[Marcelinewhyareyousomean]

Good luck.

I was the OP. I've just passed my probation and I love my job.

[HopesDaddy]

This thread doesn't deserve to die.... I have just interviewed for a maternity cover post and the response to the advert was to say the least thin.

First gentleman I interviewed looked like he had just escaped from Broadmoor. I know that looks can be deceiving and he could have been a genius so ran with it. So I put aside the 20 year old suit and the clearly very poor shave he had and the lack of knowledge, expertise and the fact he hadn't been in paid employment for 10 years and proceeded to introduce him to the rather pretty, heavily pregnant employee due to leave...

At this stage he decided to tuck his shirt in.. and proceeded to linger with his hand in the 'tucking' position in his trousers. I think you know what I mean. I was like

Ushered gentleman out of the office and returned to pregnant employee who promptly burst into tears and banned me from employing him. (at this stage was thinking I'd prefer to do the job myself and just work very very long hours).

Also on this guy's CV there was a personal achievements section where he listed he once sung for a very famous gentleman who writes musicals. His brother is Julian I think. This kind of thing is like a red rag to a bull for me but when I questioned him on it, it turned out this happened when he was 8 year's old. I mean you're a grown man for goodness sake why put this on you CV!?

[AesopsMables]

At the risk of being 'outed' I just have to add this one...

I was interviewing for a sales manager position. After a long day of asking the same questions and listening to answers etc it was time for the final candidate and I was looking forward to finishing up and heading home to open a well earned bottle of vino

In walks a man whom I can only describe as a cross between David Brent and Dell Boy. He had a thick gold chain round his neck and a diamond stud earring in addition to sporting a number of rings on his fingers including 3. Yes 3 gold sovereign ones.

What really bothered me though was that he was chewing gum. Not in a subtle way but clacking his jaw and airing his tonsils whilst doing so. I shook his hand (it was heavy with the rings on) and invited him to take a seat. I duly handed him my business card and made small talk for about a minute whilst he continuously and furiously chewed away. After another few seconds of this I could not take it any longer and kindly pointed out that he may find it useful to dispose of his gum before we continued.

He then very slowly...Took the gum from his gob and picked up my business card to attach said gum and fold over before putting it in the bin!

His name was NOT on the list for 2nd interviews

[januaryblues11]

I was once stricken with an upset tummy during an interview. I still don't know if it was nerves or a bug. I had to excuse myself, mid interview, to go to the toilet which was literally next door to the interview room, where I proceeded to have terrible diarrhoea, which was heard and smelt by pretty much the entire store I was interviewing at, let alone the interviewer. I ran straight out after. didn't bother to continue the interview. Mortifying!

[januaryblues11]

I was once stricken with an upset tummy during an interview. I still don't know if it was nerves or a bug. I had to excuse myself, mid interview, to go to the toilet which was literally next door to the interview room, where I proceeded to have terrible diarrhoea, which was heard and smelt by pretty much the entire store I was interviewing at, let alone the interviewer. I ran straight out after. didn't bother to continue the interview. Mortifying!

[SorchaN]

I had an interview many years ago for a role I really wanted in an organisation I'd been involved with and really wanted to work for. It was a two-day interview with lots of different parts and I was really excited.

From the moment I arrived it was awful. Every task was unprofessional in one way or another, and the interviewers were profoundly sexist. On the second day another interviewer arrived at the venue: this man had the final say in who went through to the next stage. We recognised each other immediately: in a completely different organisation he had sexually harassed one of my colleagues and I had been involved in reporting him.

Obviously I didn't get the job. Lucky escape!

[Dodagank]

My first ever job interview at a law firm when I was 17. Interview was fairly informal and we ended up chatting about the local nightlife.. as you do in interviews!? Anyway, interview over and as I left the building it was tipping it down with rain and I somehow tripped over my own feet and landed knee first in a muddy puddle. It was at this moment when the interviewer suddenly appeared and offered me a lift home in his MR2. Cringe!! Oh and I did get the job!
Most recently I applied for a job in my son's school. I was horribly unprepared as I'd been on holiday abroad for two weeks and I'd got the news of the interview the day I'd landed - my interview was the next day! I turned up exhausted, my eyes couldn't focus on the practical test I was given and I actually asked what the job entailed!!! Needless to say I didn't get the job. And now I cringe every day on the school run as I see one of the interviewers in the playground every day without fail.

[HollyJollyDillydolly]

I cried in my most recent interview
I had to explain a gap in my employment history and got teary talking about a bereavement. I got offered the job but I think they just felt sorry for me!

[sportinguista]

I am embarking on the job hunt now so kind of dread what could go wrong!

Some of the stories pmsl especially poo in pocket.

Only got one from years ago. I Went for a position in a firm just outside major city where I live. All was going well a director was interviewer, then he started putting his arm around me. Well I ended the interview as quickly as possible. He called to offer job, I did not take it. Ugh!

Was late for the interview for my last job that I was in for 10 years...

[kagoolhandluke]

Had an absolute car crash of an interview yesterday. It was an interview for a very similar role to one that I have been doing for 4 years now. Once in the interview room I sounded like I'd had a full frontal lobotomy: my mind went completely blank and I spouted vague inanities to the most basic of questions.

The best bit though:Interviewer: 'Do you use a keyboard?'
Me: Yes, I'm not a touch typist though, I'm a two fingered girl.'
Oh Lordy...I wanted to punch myself in the face.

[kagoolhandluke]

They were meant to call me today to deliver the outcome. I've heard nothing. I think I was so appalling that they have left me to come to my own conclusion