Just had the worst job interview ever. Anyone else care to share?

[EggNogRules]

I am morto and at myself. I was in and out in 20 mins .

I am used to initiating meeting with new clients and thought I had prepared well. I was so nervous, I had to keep drinking water to stop my lips from sticking to my teeth. It was all I could think about. None of the answers I prepared were useful. I need to rewind and do over because I have better answers now (after the nick of time).

Bugger.

I'd started worrying you routinely carried a lucky potato and had dropped it on the way in.

I went for a promotion and was interviewed by colleagues I knew fairly well. There were a few tricky questions around how to handle discounting and my mind went BLANK. Couldn't do anything in my head, couldn't think, started to sweat and stammer, it was awful. One of them took pity on me and said "so in this case you'd just offer half of the usual 16%" and I said "so you'd just give 9%?". I couldn't even halve 16.
And the job? Commercial manager in a major multinational. I was a shambles. Didn't get it, but they were kind about my feedback and said that perhaps a less pressured role might be better...

I have had two interesting experiences. The first was when I applied for a position as a Crown Counsel in Hong Kong, some years ago. I Was advised that a young girl like me couldnt be considered as there were too many rough Australians in HK.

More recently I interviewed someone for aa job as a solicitor. I think he meant to say that he had not had an opportunity in his current position to impress the partners with his work by working closely with them. However, he kept saying that he had not Ben given sufficient opportunities to expose himself to the partners. I had to pretend I had to take an urgent call and cut short the interview as I couldnt stop laughing.

He didn't get the job !

I'd left in plenty of time for my interview, but stopped for some breath mints on the way there. Got to the multi-storey carpark next to the interview location and all the pay machines on my level were broken. The car park attendant told me there was a working machine on the ground floor. I didn't have time and offered him the cash to do it for me, explaining I had an interview. He said don't worry, don't pay, I'll not ticket you the star good luck with the job.

I got to the reception at bang on the interview start time, not good. Then the bloke at reception had no idea who my interviewers were and so couldn't find them, and had no interest in trying to do so. I was in a real fluster by now. I called the agents who'd sent me and they found him. The other person doing the interview was from a different office/company.

I explained at the start of the interview that I'd been there in plenty of time but reception kept me waiting for ages blush . I still got the job.

I've had a few bad interviews over the years, normally when I've been added to the list just to 'fill numbers'.

After graduating I attempted to get a job as a trainee librarian at my local library. Ended up sat in front of a panel of 10 very tight-lipped stereotypical librarians, in a massive hall, where they made me read a kids' book aloud. They told me I didn't 'project my voice enough'. Then mentioned they were interviewing 30 people for this job and not to expect a phonecall as I wouldn't be getting it.

Then there was the interview for one of the large government departments where I was told they were tight on time so when the fire alarm went off, they made me carry on with my presentation (trying to talk through the noise is impossible, obviously). The whole situation was made even worse by the fact that this interview was for a job in their health and safety team...

When I lived in Oz I went for an interview and was told at the interview that although I was a good candidate he wanted to employ an Australian not a foreigner.

at fireflies batman.

I did once sit in front of a panel including the man I'd just yelled at for not indicating as he turned into a nearby road nearly running me over.

I had an interview about 20 years ago. While I was waiting the receptionist said to me "just a wee warning, Mr Smith who is interviewing you is massively fat, letting you know so you don't get a shock when you see him".

He was indeed, vast. He could hardly put one foot in front of the other, it was a real shame.

Halfway through the interview, I thought about the receptionist and her earnest warning, and took a fit of the giggles. That was it, I struggled to answer any more questions, tears were rolling down my face and my shoulders were shaking.

I didn't get that job.

^Bartimaeus - what is the correct way to react when your interviewer does that? It probably wouldn't happen in my line of work, but I'd still like to know!
Do you sit patiently? Tell them they're being rude? Whip your own phone out and start a game of tetris?!^

They call this interview the "role play" where you explain to the candidate the role play and then you get really arsy and see how they react to their "client". However, we've been told to start the whole thing earlier without the candidate being warned.

The idea is that the candidate should remain calm and polite. Be able to engage in small talk and stay smiling. The personal phone call won't last more than a couple of minutes, so afterwards the candidate needs to keep the conversation going.

So when I had this interview, my interviewer came to fetch me from the waiting room, then walked off really fast so I was literally running after him. Then he took the stairs instead of the lift (again I had to run) and all the time he was moaning about this being a waste of his time. I just sympathised saying it must be tough and asking what project he's working on at the moment etc. Afterwards he told me that was really good - you've got to be able to keep the conversation going basically.

During the role play, if the "client" starts answering his phone/emails etc. you should politely ask if you should come back at a later time when it's more convenient. But you should never get arsy.

Ewan

a slight digression, but a very good female friend of mine was once driving back to work after lunch and was cut-up and sworn at by a young, gobby, sexist lad in a young, gobby, sexist lad's car.

My friend's first job after lunch was to meet a sales rep who turned out to be young, gobby, sexist lad. Unsurprisingly, he didn't get the sale and his company was told why.

Finally the potato mystery solved! Sort of...

My first ever interview for a job was in 1985 aged 18, I had applied for a civilian clerical post on a Army base, I tripped over the step into the room and landed in a heap before the panel of 3 interviewers....I then babbled away like some sort of demented idiot! They asked why I wanted the post I replied because my step father says if I don't get this job I have 2 weeks to get out!I still cringe thinking about it!

When I was about 20 I went for a job as an office manager. I was wearing trousers and the guy told me 'of course you'll be wearing a skirt to work - I want a woman to look like a woman!'
Oddly, I turned it down.

I also several years ago, after studying Arabic at uni, got an interview for a dream job at BBC Arabic World Service. I was so nervous in the interview and was supposed to display lots of cultural knowledge about Islam and the Middle East.
They asked me 'Why is today significant for Arabs?'
I racked my brains but all I could think of was 'Today is George Bush's inauguration as President'
They looked at me like
Afterwards I realised it was Eid that day (only the most important religious festival in the entire Muslim calendar)
Mortifying. Didn't get the job.

I've just remembered the interview I went to when I was about 21 for a PR job. It was only afterwards that I realised the shirt I was wearing was rather see through.. I only checked after wondering why the woman who was interviewing me's eyes kept darting down. I didn't get that one (even though I have a very fine pair).

God I hate interviews!
I once went through 5 stages of interviews for what was, at the time, my dream job.. not cheap as it involved the train from the further side of Kent into London each time. at each point was told how suitable I was; great insight, contacts, viewpoint, expertise.. I sooo thought it was in the bag...
got to the final stage, the interview with one of the founders.... the one thing I had chosen to ignore about this company is that they all do strong man/marathons/dangerous ironing/charity sahara yomps in their spare time.. he took one look at me, made small talk for all of 5 minutes, wished me luck in the future and left.
I am a size 16, there is not a sporty/get fit/run a marathon gene in my body

I stopped off at the petrol station on the way to my job interview. i must have not put the nozzle in the hole properly because a massive gush of petrol squirted out and completely soaked me. The whole of the front of my clothes and my suit were covered. I was dripping petrol. No time to go home I carried on to my interview. Luckily it was an hour away so I had time to dry before I got there, I was pleased to see that the petrol was invisible on my grey suit but I absolutely stank of petrol.

They did ask me back for a second interview...

oh, and the making up numbers one too...
about 10 years ago I was invited to apply for an event managers job, well within my abilities (I thought at the time) but this was just to make up the numbers.
the 20 minutes or so in the interview was spent with the entirely male panel talking amongst themselves not listening to the responses to questions asked, I did also get the chestnut about plans to start a family, attitude to maternity leave etc
did also get a comment on leaving about being dressed like a proper girl (I had a dress and jacket on....)
hmmmm
I am now a board member of this charity, all those on that panel have gone and the man who got the job? well I'm going to see him at 1 today about the cock up he is making of another event..
revenge is sweet, even from 10 years ago
I will be nice, I promise

I've just had an email asking about a job that I do freelance. I presume that the new job would be full-time - he didn't link to the job but I've found it on their website, and there are two rounds of interviews as well as a presentation.

I can't do interviews. I always mess them up. I look younger than I sound, so people expect someone older, and my talent is not talking.

These stories have made me ten times more nervous. Arrrggghhh!

Chery - Some people like the smell of petrol - maybe it made you stand out?! The grey suit sounds like a fantastic buy!

I once had an interview at a local authority in Cheshire. I was working in Liverpool as a Town Planner. The interviewer said "I don't suppose you have much experience in the private residential sector as everyone in Liverpool lives in Council houses."

I was so that I couldn't take the rest of the interview seriously. I didn't get the job.

I've worked in HR for 9 years so have seen some hilarious interview moments, but my own embarrassing moment was as follows:

Going for an important job interview, I arrived early and was busting for the loo so tried to find one before reporting to reception. But a helpful member of staff caught me and ushered me to a seat before I had chance and I was too nervous to say anything. I was then asked to fill out a load of forms whilst waiting, and hadn't finished when somebody walked over, shook my hand, explained they were the lead interviewer and said they were ready for me now. I was just about ready to wet myself so my only response was to stammer out, "can I go to the toilet first?"

I got the job and that lead interviewer was my boss for a happy 4.5 years :-)

I onnce said that my interests were astrology and the supernatural. i didn't get that job.

Sometimes a bad job interview can be a blessing - if you're being interviewed for a job you really shouldn't have applied for in the first place.

I got called for interview for a high pressure teaching job I knew in my heart of hearts I probably wasn't up to. I went to the doctors and got beta-blockers to help with my nerves, and then performed like a champ in the interview (which involved two separate sessions with the interviewing panel, plus being observed teaching an A-level class. The kids got to give their opinion as to which teacher they'd like best). I got offered the job, which I accepted. And then lasted only 5 weeks before crumbling into an incompetent heap and opting to leave.

There was also the internal job where my manager had already clearly made up his mind to employ the other internal candidate, (who I'm willing to admit was better than me - I would have employed her over me too!), and did every thing he could to put me off my stride so I'd make a mess of things. He was ostentatiously looking at his watch all the way through (or at least when I was talking) and asking stupid open-ended questions which invited me to waffle (of course I obliged!). Horrible. I was traumatised by the experience for about two years.

This one wasn't myself but one where my OH recently was the interviewer.

Candidate comes in, slightly ruffled but noone really bats an eyelid since nervous candidates are common. She has to do a short computer test at the end of which OH takes her to the interview room. On the way she noticed the lady only had one shoe on. Assumed she had some sort of medical/foot issue.

Anyway, during the interview the other interviewer asks "Do you mind if I ask you why you've only got one shoe on?"

The lady replies "OMG! I've lost my shoe! Where's my shoe???"

She didn't get the job.

DownTheRabidHole were you a Penhaligon(er), Liberty(ine)?

CajaDeLaMemoria - this thread should make you feel better. Lots of people have felt like they have messed up and yet have got the job. Go to the loo, check your mirror and leave your potato (and other tripping hazards) at home.

I am giving serious thought to taking larrygrylls's advice and getting in touch with a 'what was all that about?' and asking for another try. In the meantime I am checking my phone every minute.

arf @ willy gubbins