Just had the worst job interview ever. Anyone else care to share?

[EggNogRules]

I am morto and at myself. I was in and out in 20 mins .

I am used to initiating meeting with new clients and thought I had prepared well. I was so nervous, I had to keep drinking water to stop my lips from sticking to my teeth. It was all I could think about. None of the answers I prepared were useful. I need to rewind and do over because I have better answers now (after the nick of time).

Bugger.

Potato and perfume - answers required!

I am going with apothecary. Or she was employed as a lush.

Also cheapsmells.com or dutyfreeperfume.co.uk Am I close? Am I?

My auntie was really late for an interview with a genuine but ridiculous sounding excuse and amazingly got the job. On her first day she went out at lunch time and was run over!! (Luckily mostly hurt pride). She told nobody as she didn't want to sound like a drama queen and spent all afternoon with ripped tights and a muddy suit pretending nothing was wrong. She's now the boss.

I once interviewed a candidate for a junior finance job, at the end of the interview I asked her what her notice period was, she told me and then added that she actually wouldn't be able to start a job for about six weeks as she was having a boob job and would be a bit sore!

As a teen I saw an ad in Blockbuster's window saying 'apply within', so I popped in and they said to come back at 5pm or whenever to interview. I said 'oh, have you got the time now?' as in, what time is it, trying to be polite though. The woman got really annoyed, saying 'no I don't have the time, I just said come back later'. Of course I made it worse.... pointing at my wrist, 'no, I mean, have you got the time now', anything rather than seem rude just saying what time is it! After asking about 4 times (this was before mobiles and I've never worn a watch!) I eventually got it from her and wondered off to sit on a bench for 4 hours. Didn't get the job, surprisingly!

Once an agency called with details of a nanny job, in central London so 90 mins travel from me- which is a lot when the job is a 12 hour day!- I eventually met the mum in a coffee shop after spending about £15 over tubes, trains and 2 buses to get there. turns out the job was pretty much a check list of things I'm not looking for in a job- shared care, nannyshare, older children, having to get a taxi between two family's homes each day, half the pay the agency told me, a driving role.... essentially the worst job possible. that one was the worst, but if I was to list every agency job I've been sent to which was unsuitable (or I was) I'd be here all day!

Oh and there was the babysitting I turned up for when after being there 5 mins the mum waltzed out of the bathroom starkers, graciously asked if I needed anything then slowly walked back in..... not an interview as such but unexpected! I never sat for the family again!

Oh OH! I forgot this one. I worked in a nursery with the managers office located in the 3-4 room, it had windows on each wall facing the room so barely separate. Very, very high staff turnover (awful place) so there were often interviews going on. Once an older woman came in, manager took her though and closed the door. Suddenly this woman started sobbing! No idea what manager had asked, was very soon after they got in so must have been question 1 or 2. With the door shut you can't hear speech but we could all hear this woman becoming more and more hysterical. We took the kids out, they could hear her and it was very weird. Woman was gone when we got back, no idea what happened as the manager never spoke to any of us but 'the chosen ones'. Ah, what a fun place to work that was!

Interviewed with huge investment bank in NY that I had previously worked after graduation. The lady accused me of lying on my resume because I had the bank listed as a previous employer and she insisted I was only a temp and should list the agency, not the bank.

I had been offered a perm graduate position which they rescinded due to the crash in 2001. Instead of a payout I asked for 6 months of paid work. They agreed and sent me an employment contract didn't say anything about me being a temporary employee or my term of employment being limited to 6 months. My pay came from the bank and were directly deposited into my bank account and I was paid a bonus.

While others might have been a little shy, I went nuts and walked out of the interview. I already had her business card so I sent her an email with the employment contract attached and a note to say that I expected an apology for her attack on my integrity.

I still cringe when I think back to my reaction. I shouldn't have lost my temper.

I went in for an initial interview soon after graduating at a massive multinational. It was an aptitude test.
The office they put me in had lights that operate by movement. So in this 30 mins or so test, every 3 mins the lights would go off and I had to wave about to make then work again as they were operated by motion sensors.

I spent most of my time operating the light and getting irritated. I did not pass the test.

I went for an interview nearly 9 years ago when DD2 was 10 wks old so I had massive sleep deprevation and baby brain

the open comment from the interviewer was

'I'm don't have time for long drawn out bullshit interviews and I'm sure you don't either so I'll ask you a question, you have 3 seconds to start talking or I move on to the next question'

he then proceeded to rapid fire questions at me talking at a million miles an hour

in my sleep deprived manic state I answered the first couple and then started randomly firing back questions at him

'do you carry out all your interviews like this?'
'do many people turn you down if you offer them a job?'
'if the interview is bullshit, does that mean the job is too?' -yes really

he then laughed, told me I was fiesty and that's what the business needed -when could I start?

I didn't give him an answer there and then but accepted the job 2 days later I was desperate as DP got made redundant while I was on mat leave but I'm still there now

he's still a prat though

I went to an interview when I was about 18 and all the way through, the woman was looking at me like >>>

I got out and nipped the toilet only to discover I had only put mascara and eyeliner on one eye in my rush to get out to the interview... I looked like a prize knobber! I did get the job though...

I am someone else who suffers from major interview nerves, so I have loved reading all your posts.

My worst interview was when I had a really bad case of strep throat. I was having the most violent reaction to the anti-biotics. So I dosed myself up with panadol and ibuprofen and immodium and hoped for the best.

I got there early and spent as much time in the loo as I could, blagged my way through the interview while mostly thinking, don't poo don't poo don't chuck don't poo and then as soon as we had done the whole handshake and see you out thing, I ran to the bathroom and was violently and explosively ill (both ends).

Got offered the job, so I probably deserve a Oscar for the interview. I ended up with a better offer though which was probably just as well because I probably wouldn't want to ever see that bathroom again...

3 come to mind.

I had one interview and the interviewer fell asleep. I walked out and never heard a thing back. I have seen him at social occasions and he doesn't remember me.

Another one where the interviewer stood up mid interview, opened the window and lit a cigarette. This was about 3 years ago, didn't ask me if I minded. At the end of the interview he said, I would love to offer you the job as you are perfect for the job but everyone here is a different nationality and I really need someone of the same nationality (I live overseas where there are no laws about discrimination).

I have also been interviewed for the wrong job, I had the time and location correct they had sent out the wrong times to everyone. I was the first to be interviewed so they corrected it for everyone else. They asked if I wanted to come back but I was offered a better job the next day.

I used to work in a fancy dress shop. A man came in and requested to try on a "batman" outfit. I got the costume and showed him the changing rooms. A moment later he called me over and flung open the curtain to show me his "amazing" manhood. I was totally used to being "flashed" in this job. I just politely asked him to put it away and he did. He left quietly.

I left this job a few months later and applied for a job in Dorothy Perkins. When I got called in for the interview it was the Batman flasher doing the interview.

I asked if he remembered me. He didnt. I told him I was changing jobs to avoid dirty flashers like him so obviously I would not be needing the job.

He was a bit

Just remembered another one, this one was in the UK. I was being interviewed for an Admin role at a company that produced pallets. Towards the end of the interview he asked me what I liked to do on holiday but before I could say anything he said he liked to look for pallets when he was abroad and take pictures, he then took out his photo album of pallets to show me. He was almost drooling over the photos. I humored him but when I was offered a second interview, I declined.

Another vomiter here

I hadn't realised it's such a common thing to do! Mine wasn't through nerves but thanks to food poisoning.

I still got the job - Skype interviews hide all manner of sins

Oh god, I know a perfect job is gong to be advertised soon in my organization (nhs) it's a high level and I know I can do the job well BUT I hate interviews!! Glad to hear its not just me

fireflies

Just remembered another one, I had an interview during one of my manic bipolar phases - I was a bit Spud from Trainspotting and I kept looking around his office and seeing things I wanted to take home. So I simply said "I like that, can I have it?" - and left with a bulging handbag.

Needless to say I didn't get the job - and whilst we shouldn't laugh at the mentally ill -even I think that's funny.

Awake in the night, puzzling over the perfume shop - pleeeeeeeeeeeeease reveal the job title?

I had to re interview for my own position last year during a period of redundancies.It was the 3rd roundwe had been trhough, and our client had form for making them push it through as quickly as possible. I was called in whilst on Maternity leave (baby was 2 months old) and had the interview with HR and the contract manager.
I proceeded to rip everything about the process, their attitude and the contract to shreds. Almost made the HR lady cry and I could see the contract manager getting angrier and angrier. In the end I walked out.

Luckily, the contract manager liked 'that I was prepared to fight to see things done properly' and offered me a new position on more money, more hours and working directly with him. So it worked out well. He still teases me about it.

DownTheRabidHole did you give the stuff back afterwards?!

I worked for a recruitment agency for a few months after uni and there were a fair few shocking candidates but the worst was a man who called me over to help with his paperwork because he had too many criminal convictions to fit into the allocated space, and should he start with the most recent or the most serious? He then described each one in rather horrid detail. I was sitting next to him feeling more and more creeped out and my colleagues were looking on like this We did not put him on our books...

The same man came back a couple of weeks later with a plaster cast on his arm. I asked what had happened and he quite cheerfully told me how he'd hit his girlfriend so she threw him out and he needed a place to sleep so tried to climb up the outside of an empty house to break in through an upstairs window but fell off and broke his wrist. I didn't know what to say to that!

The Potato story for those who have been wondering....

I was going for a job at a shop (which didn't sell potatoes, just to add to the mystery). It was quite a quick interview and they offered me the job on the spot. I was delighted because I would be able to get out of the horrible job I was currently in. We did the whole standing up/shaking hands thing and the manager opened the door for me to leave his office.

I walked out and suddenly felt myself sliding about 6 feet across the corridor. All comedy arms flailing and trying to keep balance. After the epic skid I thought I had avoided falling completly on my arse but no, at the last second I went down. Hard.

I did the very british laugh it off thing and jumped straight back up. The manager was just kind of standing there with his mouth open looking at me then the floor where there was a large, partially mouldy (and now pretty squashed) potato. One of the other staff ran up all apologies and "i don't know how that got there". I made some joke about getting off to a good start before I scurried out of there.

I worked there for 2 years and the potato was never mentioned, nor did I see one anywhere near the building. My theroy is now that one of the other staff had put it there to trick the (not very liked) manager.