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Original poster

I pooed on my skirt at work today

380 replies

silverbay · 29/03/2012 23:06

Namechange

I am not a poo troll.

I almost never poo at work. Today was an 'upset tummy' day.

I was wearing a rather huge, billowy Maxi skirt and I must have lost track of exactly where it all was while on loo. Nasty.

Had to do damage limitation with looroll in the cubicle, then stealthy washing in handbasin, all the while praying no-one would come in.

I got away with it. Blush

I have a feeling you aren't going to believe me.

OP posts:
Valpollicella · 29/03/2012 23:10

Erm. I think you might have a namechange fail situ going on as well...

Sorry to hear about your dicky tum though

Bogeyface · 29/03/2012 23:10

I believe you. I had a similar experience, when I was 17 ~(so about 300 years ago!) and in my hippy phase. I had a gorgeous fine cheesecloth skirt that was yards and yards of fabric and I did exactly the same thing, except I was in a busy pub! I had to pretend that some dirty cow had pissed on the floor and I was washing it out Blush

Didnt wear it out after that!

LeBOF · 29/03/2012 23:22

I believe you. And it was really good of you to share it with us.

LackaDAISYcal · 29/03/2012 23:24

I had a similar thing happen with a full length cardi, in a busy supermarket toilet Blush

I feel your pain!

JellyBelly10 · 29/03/2012 23:42

Not quite the same thing...and FAR TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!....but years ago (when I was about 15) I went to a friend's house whose parents were very houseproud. I had my period and hadn't changed my tampon for ages and sitting on the sofa (pale green/beige colour!) I realised I had "leaked" a bit! I moved and could see a smallish red patch on the sofa Blush about the size of a penny!! I covered it with a cushion (!!) and went to the toilet to change my tampon. Whilst in the toilet I realised that I had actualy leaked quite a lot and my tampon was absolutely saturated. This bit is going to sound far-fetched but I promise it's true! As I pulled it out, it was so heavy with blood that it sort of swung between my legs and flicked a dribble of mucousy blood on the carpeted floor and up the first few inches of the door in front of me which, unbelievably, had a panel which had been wallpapered with a sort of flock wall-paper!!! I dabbed off what I could with tissue paper but there was very obvious staining!!!! I didn't tell anyone but suspect that my friend (and her mother!!) must have worked out it was me!!! Blush

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 29/03/2012 23:44

jellybelly I'm so sorry but that has made really made me giggle out loud.
It's the sort of thing that happens to me !

TerrierMalpropre · 29/03/2012 23:45

Oh Hunny Sad

Grin
ggirltwin2pinot · 29/03/2012 23:45

hahahaha @jellybelly you poor thing

i bled heavily all over a cream upholstered chair in a farkin restaurant!!!

JasperJohns · 29/03/2012 23:45

Eww to poo story.

JellyBelly, something very similar happened to me when I was 15.

Having hellishly heavy period, was visiting friends of my parents. Realised I was leaking and got up from an armchair to see a big patch of blood. I quickly turned the seat cushion over and said nothing!

Still cringe about this now!

NewHouse · 29/03/2012 23:46

Jelly, TMI alert, I believe you, I had a similar removal leak in my bathroom once.

ggirltwin2pinot · 29/03/2012 23:46

as we're confessing I also did a shart at teh beginning if an 8hr train journey

lookoveryourshoulder · 29/03/2012 23:56

...this has brought back bad memories from years and years and years ago...

I was shopping in a Supermarket - on the second day of a heavy period.....

Went round picking stuff up and tossing in my wire basket... then noticed that there was a long line of little red dots and dashes behind me...

Mortified - I closed my legs together very very tightly and shimmied around to hurriedly finish my shopping - the red dots were turning into long red lines the more I walked around ...

I was hoping that no-one would notice and mentally working out where the nearest public loo was...

Went to the check-out and the girl started wrapping my purchases until she got to meat that I had purchased - the packaging had split and the blood was all over the place....

Bogeyface · 30/03/2012 00:08

I cant get over the fact that you finished your shopping look!

I would have dumped the basket, legged it and then been forever confused when I realised I hadnt leaked!

NoMoreMarbles · 30/03/2012 00:24

i leaked (heavy period) all over the back of my dress at work a few weeks ago and had to wear my coat for the last 1.5 hours of my shiftBlush

my friend got poo all over the back of her pants when (so she says) a unknown colleague diarreah (sp) poo'ed all down the front of the toilet in workShock she came out of the loo sobbing and the cleaners were in there for AGES sorting it out and she went home (i secretly think she was caught short but was too Blush to admit it...i wouldnt it if had happened to me!)

mumblejumble · 30/03/2012 00:25

LOL. Don't feel as though I had a bad day now.......trumped long and loud in Tesco Blush. I mean all the way down the aisle ....

NoMoreMarbles · 30/03/2012 00:28

my mum did that in sainsburys a while back Grin

she sneezed really loudly and then farted like a gun being fired! really loud and there was a man stood nearby who jumped with shock and gave her the most hilariously disgusted look and walked offGrin i was a tiny bit close to pissing my pants laughing!

BackPackBackPack · 30/03/2012 00:54

:o NoMoreMarbles :o

Solo · 30/03/2012 01:12

Lookover I am shaking with laughter here , the idea of anyone shimmying around the supermarket with tightly closed legs...Grin it's just too much! Grin

Solo · 30/03/2012 01:16

Marbles! My Mum spoke to (at a short distance) a tile salesman recently, turned away and took one step up the three steps and let rip! she said 'Oooops!' and carried on. It was quite loud. I wanted to run, but he'd have thought it was me didn't look back.

NoMoreMarbles · 30/03/2012 01:35

Grin it was the funniest thing I have seen in a long while ( aside from DH Almost doing the splits in the front room last week slipping on water spillage from DDs paintingGrinGrin )

ManicPanic · 30/03/2012 02:23

If I may join in...
Before starting my shop in local Morrisons, my insides were rumbling a bit (the whole family had been suffering with flu and dodgy tums) so off I hurried to the store toilets, spotting a little old lady hurrying in ahead of me pretty fast. It was just me and the old dear in there, and we must have been suffering from similarily dodgy stomachs...
We dueted a chorus of farts, splats and smells, punctuated only by minutes of mortified silence... we both stayed in there for about 15 minutes, due in part I think to not wanting to come out and have to clap eyes on each other at the washbasins... At one point I even got a mad fit of the giggles, in the end I just waited til she left, and then went home!

ManicPanic · 30/03/2012 02:24

I am a bit Shock at all the farting mothers in supermarkets...

SnakebiteRattlinBoogaloo · 30/03/2012 07:19

Oh this is too much info so early in the morning but...

I went shopping with my mum once, we where stood in line waiting to be served when my mum let out a huge loud fart. Everyone went silent. Then if that wasn't bad enough, mum tried to blame it on the strangers baby in front of us. Blush Grin

ggirltwin2pinot · 30/03/2012 08:06

hahaha love this thread
my mum nearly pooed herself in m&s
I found her standing still staring intently at nothing..i thought she's had a stroke or something ..until she whispered to me
'if i move i'm going to poo'

slinkyboo · 30/03/2012 08:28

ggirl I am now crying with laughter!

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