To think that middle aged women are really a bit pointless?

[Hullygully]

What is the point of them?

Really?

Funnily enough Sue - me too. I said to DH last night as we were contemplating one of our friends turning 39 this year that it was about time we settled down and got married, had kids and got a mortgage.

Whilst our 3 kids slept upstairs, and we sat in our 4th mortgaged house having been married for 14yrs.

I was born an old fart. The only difference is now I embrace it, whilst wearing ugly boots.

We have a vacancy for a Junior Deputy List Manager as both our Deputy and Manager appear to be in dereliction of their duties.

I did Hully, but I've been dressed in my 'allo 'allo costume all day so wanted to make use of it.

Old fartiness rocks. Gently and genteel-y

What about quiche? Is quiche pointless? Is it middle aged?

It's too eggy and gives me wind. [hblush]

Verm where have you been hiding? I haven't made your acquaintance before and you are vair funny

There's a lot I want to add to the list but I keep getting distracted

I've been hiding in middle aged pointlessness and invisibility. :(

Middle aged women are vital to the economy. The production of tena lady, support pants, and the repair of prolapses alone keep thousands in employment in this country.

Also the multiple purchases of things you already have stockpiled through forgetfulness

Or maybe that's just me

40 is not middle aged < goes in sulk>

I saw her first

40 is arguably just under middle aged for women as the average life expectancy is now 82.3 years

But it's close

acrobiotic aerobic class hmm
Actual Cats
Alan Titchmarsh, Aled Jones, David Essex, Michael Ball and Pip Schofield
All Antique shops
All charity shops (no volunteers you see)
All things remotely to do with golfing
Alphabetised lists
Am dram
Antique Jugs
Any type of peering
apostrophes
Artic rolls and caramac
Babycham, advocat and Dubonnet
Baking lots of pies
Barging small children off the dancefloor while singing the wrong words while high leg kicking while whooping while clapping while dancing
Battenburg and Madeira cake
bingo
Book clubs
Boots No 7
Branflakes
Buying Carnations because they last so well
Cardigans
Cat Ornaments
Cat tea cosies
chicken shaped things
Clapping hands while dancing
Cliff Richard!
Climbing trips
Coach tours
Coach tours
Coming up with list items which are too long
Complan
country living
Countryfile
Court shoes
Crocheted special list manager cardigans (unless they are for Hully)
Daily M*il
Danish spectacles?
David Attenborough programmes
Days out riding rollercoasters with the kids
Doctors on ITV (poss itv altogether)
Dogs
Doing long distance walks.
Doing the above whilst still holding down a full time job
Drinking too much wine with your mates
Dying your grey hair blonde
ecco
Elaine Page
Exclamation marks
Festivals
Fitflops
Fitplops
Flipflops
Fun cat cartoons
Fun cat greeting cards
Garden centres
Gin and tonic, scotch on the rocks
Gold stickers with your name on
Golf clubs
Good Housekeeping
Hats on parcel shelves
Having a sustainable garden
High leg kicking while whooping while clapping hands while dancing
Hillwalking
Holidays in Portugal and Madeira
Homemade birthday cards
Horses
Hot sex with boyfriend without the worry of pregnancy
Hurumphing
Immodium
Imperial Leather soap
J Campbell Kerr
John Barrowman
Judge Judy
kittens
Lakeland
Last night of the proms
Laughing too loud
Lipstick on teeth
List obsession
Lists
Missing The Point
Mumsnet
Musicals staged in local theatres both watching and performing in
Novels with sploshy watercolours on the front cover
Novelty egg cups
odd spec cases
Organiser handbags
parish mags
Past Times
Peachy's MIL
Peering over reading glasses
People who abdicate responsibility for their own lists
People who are unfettered by lists
People who can't spell 'Elaine Paige'
People who don't google J Campbell Kerr
People who don't know what Fitplops are
People who don't know who J Campbell Kerr is
People who know what fitplops are
People who play golf
People who skip
People who take threads like this seriously
People who would fuck the list
Peppermint tea
Per Una
petunias (nasty flowers)
Phillipa Gregory novels
pop socks
Proudnscary (again)
Proudnscary, Pagwatch and other people who don't know how to make lists properly
Quality Street
RHS and NT
Rovers, Volvos and Nissan Notes
Scholls
she
Silly questions
Singing in wavery voices at appropriate times
singing in wavery voicesat inappropriate times
Singing the wrong words while high leg kicking while whooping while clapping hands while dancing
Ski holidays
Slippers
Snorting
Sucking
Suepurbly
Tapered slacks
Tea cosies
Teenaged children
The Archers (grudgingly)
the rspca
Things that are 'wipe clean'
Things that fold up to go in your handbag like plastic hats and reusable bags
tins of biscuits
tissues shoved up your sleeve
Triumph's bestselling bra: the 'Doreen'
Tutting
Voluminous linen outfits
Wafting up voluminous linen skirt and flashing support garments (in beige)...
waitrose
Watching Eggheads
Waterfall cardigans
Weeing a bit on trampolines
Weeing a bit while laughing too loud
Werthers
Whooping while clapping hands while dancing
WI
wicker baskets
Womans Own
woollen mill
Zumba
Strictly Come Dancing
Daniel O'Donnel
Westlife
Being concerned about it being The Done Thing
Swapping winter and summer wardrobe (although that might be a UK thing)
Using things up
Storing ONE spoonful of potatoes in tupperware for yer Dad's lunch tomorrow
Footglove shoes
pot of tea and a pot of hot water for a top up

FFS, stop girnin' about the list. I was only away packing my bags for our trip to Germany.

Can we add bad tempered peri-menopausal to the list?

What happened with the other thread?

curtain twitching

Verm, ry and I would like to be your love kittens. In a brazen, forthright, non-MA way.

WHAT?

Hully is a troll. By God, I should have known when she posted that thread about whether to go for a DD or a JJ cup in the breast enhancement.

FECKING HELL. Burnt the Croque Monsieur

'Love kittens'? That sounds terribly middle aged!

Sainsbo's Baked Beans are utterly foul.

You all need to know that.

They are gritty.

Mme Lindor, you can only add things to the list if you do it alphabetically! Don't spoil my list.

I wrote love puppies first and had a mental image of bosoms. Kittens seemed less norkular somehow.

Fuck the list!

Hm. Ok, love kittens it is. But what do love kittens actually do?

Yeah, fuck the list! Not really. I wish I had the time and inclination to update my lovely list.

I mean, what do love kittens actually do? Aren't they a bit pointless? [hhmm]

capable of multi-tasking

use forrin words like croque monsieur instead of cheese and ham toastie

Can someone add these to the list while I burn supper again

Yes I like 'love kittens' - very '1970's'

Check out the "What the fuck do you write for a snail diary" thread. I'm too middle-aged to do a clever link thing. However, that is the raison d'etre of the middle-aged mummy. I'd add it to the list - only I'm too scared of Pinot & Vermicious. Need quaking in my ugly fitflop boots emoticon.