If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

AIBU to eat the legs off all the freshly baked cake people while they're still cooling? Mummy is cross because they took ages and baking with me is a very frustrating process and she thinks I should have waited until they were cold and decorated before tucking in.

AIBU to think she could just fashion some sort of cake walking stick if she was so bothered about them?

OP YADNBU!

What is wrong with all these stupid people?! My Mother is also somewhat of a tyrant, I have much to learn from you & other posters.

She is constantly sticking her face over me, making all kinds of stupid faces & noises trying to get me to smile. My response? I give her this look until she looks away, then flash my biggest smile just to wind her up.

This morning she dared to not play with me, even though I was flashing her my biggest, cutest smile. I mean, it was 4am ffs, the lazy wench had had at least 4 hours sleep! Then, when she told me it was night-time & that I had to go to sleep, she dared to not hold my hand in my moses basket so everytime she moved it, thinking I was asleep, I let out a squawk to show my disapproval.

And earlier, I woke up from my nap & had a massive wee so my nappy was huge. The stupid woman decided to change it thinking this was what I wanted when clearly I wanted her to try feeding me FIRST, even though I refuse to feed until I have a clean nappy. So I proceeded to scream until my face went bright red, I was shaking with rage & I couldn't breath. Although I do like my bear stickers by my changing table, so I half-laughed at them between screams, prompting Mummy to look quite puzzled & not take me quite so seriously.

WIBU?

[MasterMiniWii, 14 weeks]

Oh you poor fellow sufferers. I too am living with an entirely unreasonable parent.

Yesterday I wanted the cushion she was sitting on but she had the cheek to say she'd share it with me! I immediately went to melt down whereby she offered me ... get this ... an identical cushion !!!! Who was she trying to fool?? No way.

"NO WAY" I said and had a massive tantrum that I managed to string out for 20 minutes. She ignored me so I held up cushions to block the TV but she just moved her head!!!!

So I told her "I hate you for a million years until you are dead!"
Her shoulders started shaking at this point and she hid her mouth behind her hand and these tears started running down her cheeks. So I think THAT showed her who's boss.

Today the stupid woman tried to get me to wear WHITE SOCKS. To school FFS. Does she think I was born yesterday?? I know for a fact that she bought those socks at least a month before she bought my school uniform. So they are NOT, NOT, NOT, school socks.

Some days she even tries to make me wear trousers. Can you believe it?? I am at a loss for words at her stupidity.

Bonzo Survivor (4)

Mothers are mad for sure. I'm nearly 6 and mine gets really sort of sniffy and lemon sucking faced when i end each sentence with 'and then we all did a blow off'. Honestly, what's up with her. And what is the problem, exactly with wearing a beautiful pink lace disney skirt (aged 3/4) to school? You are so NBU. Good luck!

You think that's bad? My DM left me at DGPs and when she came to get me she brought this thing she keeps calling Your Sister.

Now it's all "Your Sister doesn't want that fire engine on her head, she's sleeping" and "Don't poke Your Sister in the eye!" every time I try to play with it - it's too tiny apparently. I've had to put up with 10 weeks of this shit.

Then, get this, the other day (must have been Sunday as DF came to get me out of bed as it's "his turn") I needed DM to look at the fish slice i'd managed to get out of the kitchen drawer all by myself, so I went upstairs to find her. Would you believe the slattern was still in bed at 6.52am on a Sunday, and then had the nerve to take umbridge when I poured a handy glass of water over her! I mean, who left it there?!

OP, this need to finish her wee and wash her hands - your DM sounds like a narc to me...

littleAmber 20months

Actually, maybe we are all being just a teeny bit U .

It's a big change when we come along and some of them never quite recover their minds properly . Their judgment just goes all skewiff and their priorities are often COMPLETELY in the wrong.

For example I don't think it's U that whenever I leave the house I have to pack when I go to the park I need her to carry a bag that contains: dog treats, my scrapbook, a pocohontas figure, woolly socks ( in August) 2 spare dresses, 3 handbags, a snow globe, a silver cake slice, old mobile phone, a wind-up hamster, my knitting, a fan, a drawing of Kenya, a reading book and 12 hair clips. It wasn't even that heavy - I mean the suitcase even had wheels

Tuts,
Sunray (6)

YANBU

My Mummy still hasn't got the hang of the idea that its only the first bite of a piece of fruit that is tasty. After that the fruit is spoiled and obviously cannot be consumed - unless of course it is hidden behind something and rediscovered at a later date. All these problems would be solved to my benefit if Mummy would just realise that

a)I am always right
b)Sometimes I am wrong but I am still right

This morning for example when I produced a particularly fine poo and I wanted to share it with her, she failed to realise that shouting 'CHANGE CHANGE' at 6 am meant CHANGE NOW. By the time she had sat up the moment had passed and the poo was now mine and part of my body and any attempts to remove it would of course be viewed as a violation.

The same thing goes for toys. Clearly when I patted the heavy see-through box and asked firmly that it be taken down for me I meant the box on the other side of the room that contained superior toys and not the awful pile of rubbish she tried to fob me off with.

I have had some success with repetition of key words and phrases and ahve found that regular applications of affection = biscuits. Also sisters can be removed from the biscuit equation with a well executed bite, followed by a tantrum of epic proportions that contain the keywords 'pushed me over' 'sad LittleMat' 'need a big cuddle mummy'.

Don't get me started on that Daddy man. It was clear that his silver shiny flat laptop thing was much improved with the melted chocolate and I feel that his reaction was totally disproportionate.

'LittleMat 24months)

Sunray, we're a similar age and I'm actually a bit shocked at your beliefs. THEY need to realise that WE are in charge, not the other way round. You'll be telling me that you sometimes 'do as they say'!!! I actually feel quite sorry for you.

AIBU for waking my mummy up at 6 am today to tell her AGAIN that the stick in the road with the round light on top is called a Belisha Boggin and NOT a Belisha Beacon which she keeps telling me. I am 4 now and so a very big boy I will soon be 6 and I have learned it at school. My mummy never goes to school so I know I am right!

littleone 4yo

AIBU for getting very upset that my mummy doesn't want me to go EVERYWHERE with her? I only wanted to sit on her knee while she was at the toilet and then hold onto her skirt when she was going up and down the stairs! My mummy is so mean to me that she LET the stairgate trap my finger then only gave me a little kiss before telling me that I shouldn't have been playing with it! Well if she won't put PepPib on for me then what else can I play with?! I think she wanted me to play with my toys she is definately most unreasonable!

littleone 2yo

There are so many of you! I had no idea.

Well, maybe it's time that I stepped in here and had a little chat with all of your mummies and daddies.

I am going to start a support group for you all, bless you so so much. There will be free toast, cutted up pear, fruit shoots, Gregg's sausages rolls, crisps, chocolate, wall art, frisbee in the house, ball indoors, late nights and nose picking...... all of the things that you are not allowed to have or do.

Stewie from Family Guy will be on hand for an Express Master Classes in how best to behave to get what you neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.

Who's in?

Mumsnet - take note. time to start
TODDLERNET

great idea urban

Today I pooed over the nursery ladies. Seves them right, they took away snailey. And Mummy won't l;et me drink the mummy squash rum the nice man from the shop brought her in his white van but it looks like apple juice. And she amde me wear clotjhes two days in a row, I suspect it is now time time to assert my rights as an individual and try some SuperToddler parent training on her.

I am now tight eyes so will go to sleep until 11 when it is time to play unless she cruelly keeps me awake.

I am so glad to have found you all. I have been lurking for a while and hearing all your stories of triumph over adversity I have found the strength to post.

Yesterday I took the mean dictator lady with me to toddler group. She was not too bad at first. We have been so many times that she knows better than to make me sit down for snack time. But after a while it was tidy up time and she TIDIED UP. She took all the toys away one by one but I kept finding more that I had put under the chairs just in case. In the end she had the nerve to take the VERY LAST TOY in the whole hall.

Obviously I did not want her to do that so I indicated this by first of all grabbing her legs and throwing my head from side to side while loudly whingeing. She did not respond so I had no option but to go into full on heavy metal mode. I do a mean impression of Axl Rose with the screechy vocals and long hair. This did not work! I had to throw myself to the floor in the middle of the singing circle, roll around, kick and scream. The mean lady and her mean lady friends LAUGHED at me and I have never been so humiliated in my life. I am very small for my age and I can't stop the dictator from picking me up and bringing me home. What can I do that does not require physical strength?

Willbean

This is a Classic if ever I saw one.

YAYAYAYAY SophieMN

Willbean - can you hide something of hers? Something that she really needs? Something invaluable? What would drive her mad if she couldn't find it?

Or, you could stuff a cheese sandwich down the back of the radiator for when this evil woman turns the heating on?

norriscoleforpm Oh I agree: "THEY need to realise that WE are in charge, not the other way round." But as I am the house expert in just about most things, I think something must have happened to make them think like this. I mean, I've just been in to ask my mum WHY ON EARTH I have to be waiting for my friend to finish her ballet lesson before she can come and play, when OBVIOUSLY it would have been much better if she had been on Wednesday instead of me doing my homework and then I wouldn't have to WAIT. Duh!

Mummy makes me eat colli and broccoli , at first I eat it but today she did it again, I am so so angry I did scream and scream, I did spit it out but she put some more in. I want my bot bot, where is my bot bot? Why does she keep giving me this stuff with lumps.

My big brothers had wotsits, mummy is mean and I'm not aloud , mummy says I'm too little. My brothers arnt mean I know if it wasnt for that mummy i could give big smiles and they would give me one but she says no!!! I am so so angry, I did big sloppy poo, it was all over my clothes . That will learn her

Littlest moomin 6 months

This thread has made me laugh and laugh, but also be very thankful that my son is now grown up!

well, this is the last straw really. SHE picked me up from school and when i came out and noticed that Meggie was going to play at Sophia's house, I acted appropriately. I went and stared at sophias mum and said 'why is she coming round and not me?' Apparently this is 'rude and uncalled for' and no-one will want to play at our house. All the way home it was 'blah blah blah...behaviour...manners...blah blah...no friends left...' Yeh yeh What.Ever.