If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

OP YADNBU, this is Older Brother speaking. I am nearly 6 and DM just doesn't realise that the pre school routine is - watch SpongeBob right to the end then spend half an hour looking for a lego Ninja to take to school.

She keeps shouting it's time to go, right I'm going without you blah blah and I just tune out. I mean I really don't CARE whether I'm late or not so why should she. It's my life. Stand up for your rights brothers and sisters. It's the thin end of the wedge.

AIBU to demand the right kind & number of spoons with my Weetabix?

Shouldn't my mum have known I wanted to use the two pink & yellow weaning spoons falling down the back of the chair and not a single metal cereal spoon?

I mean, doesn't EVERYONE eat Weetabix like this (this morning)?

Sunray you really need to get a grip. Like norris said we're in charge.

BTW how old are you? I am 5.10 and so obviously quite grown up. You sound a bit immature TBH

I am glad I have found this outlet as I am typing almost shaking with rage at what my stoopid Mummy and Daddy people did yesterday.

Daddy person picked me up early, that?s right early from my Grandmas house so I couldn?t see my favourite Unkie. He tried to placate me by letting me eat out in the bestest restaurant in the world (Morrisons café, it?s the only place I will eat at, their chick-chick sandwiches are divine). I returned from there with some of my banana milk remaining. The Mummy person returned from work and attempted to eat her dinner, which I cannot express my displeasure at. I mean she should be playing with me, not eating her food. I demanded my milk be decantered to a cup (who drinks from a straw from the bottle? I?m not some sort of wino). I then insisted it be made ?frothy?. You are not going to believe what my foolish Father did? He only went and got the milk frother and started frothing the milk!! This lead me to a complete breakdown, which only got me ignored have you ever heard of anything like this?

After sobbing on the sofa/in the hall/on the stairs/in the kitchen, I decided that I had made myself thirsty so went to reclaim my milk, and in the time I was away the frothiness had gone I couldn?t believe that they expected me to drink none frothy milk, so I attempted to throw it at my Mummy to show my displeasure, only for her to be quick and grab it from my hands!! How could she stop this final act of defiance I do not know (but that nice Daddy person did go froth my milk for me before bed ? soft touch, at least I have him exactly where I want him )

You lot have a lot to learn, you know.

To the poster who gave in and allowed your auntie to strap you into the pushchair after only a token about of going rigid and screaming, may I pass on the following top tips:

Firstly you need to convince your mother/auntie/other gullible adult that you are way too big for a buggy and can walk. This may need re-inforcing with a few major strops involving ramming the pushchair into passing strangers, before they accept the inevitable and leave it in the car.

Then pick your moment for a tantrum. My finest moment (aged 3) was in a quiet civilised sports shop (a nice long way from the car park). When faced with a choice of blue or purple swimming hats, I hurled myself on the floor screaming that I wanted both.

My (clearly deranged) mother carried me out of the shop without buying any swimming hats, dumped me on the pavement and tried to reason with me, FGS .

She then pretended to ignore me while I screamed for the next 20 mins (I know she was only pretending because every time some kindly stranger came to see if I was OK she interfered and said I was fine )

When she came up with some feeble excuse about having run out of time, and I entirely reasonably refused to walk (see earlier for getting-rid-of-pushchair method) she picked me up in a fireman's lift and carried me through the shopping centre - I mean - how embarassing?! The only possible solution was to scream "I DON'T LIKE YOU. PUT ME DOWN" repeatedly at the top of my voice.

It was days before she ordered a swimming hat and got the postman to bring it.

Her current stupid tantrum is that if I don't stop squawking every time I am asked to do something or my brother goes anywhere near me I won't have a birthday party. Talk about cutting her nose off to spite her face - I know she likes nothing better than entertaining 20 of my friends while I strop about not winning all the games.

minisquiggle (nearly 5)

Hi again - it's 11 year old brother here. I know I may be in the wrong place - sort of wanted to post in prepubertynearlykevinnet, but thought you guys might have an idea of how to help....basically the mother and father came to my new secondary school to meet the teacher (so called, I mean what do they do?) and, I'm finding this hard to put down, sorry...the mother Spoke to one of my friend in the corridor. Maaan!! She then talked non stop at the teacher dude and finally, Called Me 'Darling'. I just don't know how to do this anymore :( Any help would be great.

Oh and the mother has 'namechanged' whatever that is? she was 'lovecorrie' (spew) but isn't anymore...wierd or what?

My mummy did something right . She sent an email to EmEnAitchCue saying something about classics and voila!

However, this does little to make up for her earlier behaviour. I really don't know how to explain this but she took my brother's school book away from me. I know. Shocking. All I did was try to tear out the photo of him so I could kiss it. She won't let me have it back. I've done everything I can think of - throwing myself on the floor, sobbing on the phone to Granny, screaming, etc. I even tried my only-for-emergencies tactic of cuddling her and taking shuddery breaths while saying "want book want book" but she didn't give it back. Bitch (Please don't tell mummy I said the 'b' word)

Then she decided to give us a treat as daddy has gone to drink brown lemonade with his friends at the special grown ups only place. She gave us pizza in front of the tv for tea. Now this is all well and good you might think, but no. She had to go and ruin it by refusing to let me eat my pizza with a spoon. So now I'm not going to eat it until she tries to take my plate away. Then I shall have the meltdown to end all meltdowns. Ha.

norriscoleforpm jnr - I think you will find that entirely cutting off all communication (or at the very least restricting it to occasional grunts) is the only way to get over quite how unacceptable such behaviour is. If not nipped into the bud this could move on to touching (maybe even hugging [shudder]) you in public - be warned!

norris that is sooooooooo embarassing! laos elven here, and I have a ten year old bruvva. That woman still hugs me in front of the school. Now I am at secondry like I go by transport so she cannot come in but she is all like wot did u do 2day and make sure you have some fruit and water and stuff that is SOOOOOOOO uncool. My advise is ditch her man: she is not my muvva she is that woman. Cook, washer, embarasment factor.

U cld ave it worsew tho: woman does this carnival fing and its soon and she is dancing in fishnets. I MEAN FISHNETS? I am soooooooooo unhappy!

Mu Mummy is lovely she is the most beautiful thing I ever saw and I will never leave and I will love her all days.

CutiePeach aged 8- and he actually said that. Aw. He'll learn.

(don't worry, that's all 4 covered )

I have come on here while mummy is to busy laughing at your stories to notice!!

Mummy thinks I am being unreasonable for wanting to decorate her phone. I mean black is so boring, green crayon over the screen is much better surely?

yer hugging - shit no way no more. Cept in private, maybe when I'm feeling lost and sad about leaving junior school..

Or at ten o clock when THAT MAN has gone out

When bruvva is sleeping

sorry wot no man like no chance YUCK

Good to see a thread about pears as they are my faverette !
I like dropping the bits from my high-chair and getting Mummy to pick them up and give them back.
I think this is a great game I've invented. You could play it too if you like !
But I have to warn you that, if my DM is anything to go by, mothers do seem to tire of it almost before it's got started. They have no stamina these days, granny will play it for much longer YADNBU - AIBU to expect this game to last longer with my DM ?

little (well nearly six ackcherly, so shut up!) sister back. Quick question - 'Brown Lemonade'? What is that and why aren't we allowed it? The bloke parent has loads of it in the fridge, right in front of the white chocolate. He was so grumpy when it was there but after it had gone (about an hour or so later) he was in such a good mood! Mummy said something about 'you're such a boring junk' or something..it was really funny. Brother just rolled his eyes and said about 'shut your bedroom door please, I'm doing 'secks' at school so I know what you're doing'. I'm getting more confused by the day - we don't do 'secks', just reading and shit. :(

OP - YADNU.

Luckily, my mummy is an angel. She is obedient, submissive, lot of fun and does everything I tell her.

The only times I have had problems is when we are out. She has a terrible habit of asking me "are you ready to go?" when I am having the time of my life. I tell her quite forcefully "No, I don't want to go". But then she actually picks me up and takes me out just when I am having a good time. She is learning though - I only leave places for ice cream and apple juice .

I have no idea what the 'brown lemonade' is. All I know is that 2 years ago it was considered funny if I tried to have a taste. Now I'm 3 they get all arsey and tell me not to touch it. 'Snot fair.

I wanted to wear my (too small) swimming costume and (too small) spotty pyjama trousers to go to the museum this morning. My heartless mother insisted that I add shoes and a raincoat to my ensemble as it was raining.

AIBU to ask how to deal with her clear lack of style?

MiddleWinkle (2.6)

Yeh, babymov Grown-ups are weird at parties, they get all cross in the car on the way there, then - when we get there - they sit around the edge of the room quietly for ages, and just when the party's finally getting warmed up they leave and usually blame us " I'm sorry we're going to have to get back it's way past babyjugglings bedtime !"- I'm good to party until the small hours me !

WIBU to rub my bottom on mummy's hair? I was just being affectionate but she's being all (no pun intended) pissy about it and moaning about being tired - she seems to have forgotten that, actually, I was up at 6 am too and - IIRC - I was actually leaping about and burning off some energy, rather than just lying there with her eyes closed saying things like "Please be quiet darling" and "It's so early" and "Can I at least have the covers back, I'm so cold"

Anyway, must dash - I need to go and choose which 'jamas I'm going to refuse to put on tonight before throwing a massive temper tantrum in the bath.

Babybel, 3 in ten days, yippee!

Well MY Mum took U to a whole new level tonight. After a whole week of school she insisted on dragging me into town to pick up the new school trousers ordered because my others broke. FFS woman we have a washing machine surely 2 pairs is enough - I don't get that dirty. She even tried to reason with me that she had been at work all week too. But she only teaches the work she doesn't actually have to do it. And then she said to cheer me up I could get some chocolate - but not the huge bag of maltesers I wanted just a small bag - despite my offer to share knowing she doesn't like them.

Being a little older and mature I realise by now the tantrumming on the floor embarasses me not her - she just walks away - I hugged her and told her she was my favourite mummy. The stupid ccaaaww just said I'm her only mummy and did I want the small bag or not?

Does she not realise that the compliments will stop if she doesn't react?

Minikidding aged 7.1 (almost!)

Mummy has left me in charge of the shopping whilst she goes for a wee.

I'm biting the cucumber through the plastic and hitting my garage with it so it goes really mushy so she doesn't have to chop it up.

MiniMouse age 2.5

AIBU to plug out that silly noisy hoover when mummy is walking around the room with it..why she do that its so noisy..I cant hear all my favourite music tunes on the telly....I mean I have to wait for ages to hear my music tunes and then they only bes on for like 3 minutes.

So I showed her and plugged it out..then she put her hands on me and moved me away..why would I want to move away. I want that silly noisy thing off right now!!!

Then she put her hands out again and brought me upstairs to my room..why would I want to bes here there is no tv in here..I tell her this and she is acting like she has no clue what I say!!

Now I have to close my eyes as I cannot take much more noise....but soon I will go back downstairs after I scream so loud that mummy will run up the stairs so fast she will trip over my big brothers shoes..there's be nothing wrong with me only there is no telly in here.

AIBU to demand that every 15mo has his/her own telly.

MrsD'slittleDD

When you little pipsqueaks are a bit older you will need some more sophisticated tactics.

There will come a time when your lazy old mother will try to slope off onto you her responsibility for ensuring that your things are where you need them to be at all times. Don't let her get away with it. She will pretend that now you are big it's your job to remember to bring your homework back from school and all your stuff home from the park or your after school club or your friend's house or wherever you've been. As if you didn't have better things to think about!! As if she didn't have her own time for fun when she was a child and had any right to expect any more from life than to cater to your every need. What else does she have to do FFS? She may even say that she's not going to look for the precious thing (DS, favourite DVD, extra special feather) even though its an abuse of your human rights to expect you to live without it. (I don't mean the homework, obviously).

But better than throwing a tantrum or getting in a huff (liable to result in cruel and inhuman punishment like not letting you watch telly when you really need to), is to smile as sweetly as you can manage (hard through gritted teeth, I know, but its worth it) and say "Don't worry about it Mum, just buy a new one".

BMinor (nearly 9)