If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

My mummy objects to me hitting my best friend over the head. It's affectionately meant, and honestly, what's it got to do with her? And she insists I'm tired when obviously I'M NOT, and then when I fall asleep the moment I hit my cotbed acts like that shows she knows things better than I do!

JumpJockeyJunior - you are the voice of reason. I've been having the exact same debate with my Mummy. Why would I want to sit on a cold hard potty or toilet seat, when I can wee in the lovely warm water? And it's not like you can taste the wee on the toothbrush.

Plus I have the added bonus of causing DSis to go into meltdown when I wee in the bath water we are sharing .

WIBU unreasonable this morning? I mean, my mummy wanted me to GET DRESSED, of all things!

I mean, I tried for 45 minutes to tell her I didn't want to put my clothes on, getting louder and louder but all she did was tell me I HAD to because she was going to be lateforwork, whatever that is. It didn't even work when I threw myself on the floor, screamed and then kicked her!

THEN, the horrible woman put me back in my bed. I don't like my bed, and now I don't like it lots. She's obviously got anger issues, to do that.

WIBU to pay her back later by refusing to go to bed at all? Or can any of you suggest a better strategy?

19m MiniBag.

I am stepping things up, having been inspired my the thread. Earlier I was playing with my sooper dooper bouncy ball and mummy was all "not against the windows". So I bounced it very hard. In the house. Mummy was upstairs so I marched around in my muddy shoes to tell her to find it (honestly, it's so hard to find a mummy who knows the job, why should I have to search for her).

So, stoopid mummy did not find ball. She offered me a DIFFERENT ball but it wasn't the same. So no go. I then decided I'd bounced the ball against the fence or perhaps over it. So mummy scrabbled around fence, climbed tree, got stuck, looked like a tit and I remembered it wasn't near fence. She didn't seem happy but as I tolded her, I like being funny.

She eventually tripped over the ball near front door. Clever ball had bounced throughout house! Super ball. I'm now refusing to let go and every so often I look menancingly at tv. It funny, makes mummy looked worriedsy.

yy Heckle - and mine made me sleep in a cage thing when I was smaller too. Her pathetic reasoning behind this was that I would be safe and wouldn't fall out. Well, what the fuck is she for - if I slept in her bed, then I wouldn't fall out because she would be there to hold on to me.

And don't even get me started on the whole buggy/car seat rubbish I have to deal with every day, do you know she actually MAKES me sit in the car seat WITH straps on. Yet my brother and sisters can sit on normal seats. Apparently it's because they're all taller than her, but they still call her Mum. I don't get it.

They are SO stupid these mothers and fathers, they know nothing.

My Mummy does not or wont understand that I will NOT drink out of any cup that is not pink, that is the girls colour.

I DO NOT like small plates, knives, Forks and spoons.

I know my little fingers cant manage them but I dont care I will continue to throw any incorrect cutlery & cups across the room until you get it right.

Oh and by the way, I think I am taking a dislike to round bowls so be a dear and find some square ones if you like your walls.

LittleChick 2 years & 6 Months

YABU to eat fruit. I will NOT eat fruit and the last time DM tried to make me eat a banana, I threw upeverywhere, fell out of my high chair, banged my head and ended up in hospital. That'll learn her. She has NEVER tried to make me eat fruit again.

yanbu. Sometimes mothers can be so trying. I tell myself it's just a phase, but still it wears me down. How long till milk o' clock?

Today my mother tried to put me in my car seat. Frankly, I had better things to do, so I calmly went rigid and waited until she stopped trying. I repeated this a number of times, as I've heard it's the best way to train them out of this behaviour. The cheeky woman was muttering something like "you, babies, you're all the same, I've spent years wrestling babies into car seats and you're not going to win this one, kiddo". Obviously needs more work, this one.

You think you lot have got problems? My mummy is gaslightling me.

I lose my Mitmit (my specialisisisist teddy). I scream and cry and shout and shout. She says "look in your bed". I go to my room and guess what? I can't see Mitmit. I scream and shout some more and mummy makes me tidy all my friends into boxes in case Mitmit is hiding. She gets all antsy when I choose to perform the putting away of the friends through the art of dance. She's not even impressed by my pretty twirls and jumps. A lot of many minutes later Mitmit is still missing . Mummy stomps around saying things like "if you looked after it properly you would know where it is". It it! Mitmit is not an 'it'. She is a Mitmit. Mummy will then storm upstairs to look in my bed. She comes back holding Mitmit claiming she was inside my pillow case . Well she wasn't there when I spent a whole lot of seconds looking.

Don't worry about me too much though. I teach her how wrong she is by example. Handbag goes in the toy cupboard, phone goes in the sink, diary goes under the sofa, and best of all, car keys go in the bin exactly 1 minute before we go to school .

NeedsToReadThisWhenSheHasMoreTimeAndGetTheCubToHelpReplyTiggaxx

My mummy is a right PITA. Firstly she insists on confiscating my dummy at every opportunity on the clearly contrived pretext that I am a "big boy" now (she just wants them for herself, I know this for a fact). I am one step ahead of the daft mare though as I have strategically stashed caches of dummies around the house - how do you like them apples mom.

She also takes umbridge when driven beyond all tolerance I have to belt her one for not taking instructions as clearly stipulated, in plain English, by me her Lord and Master. For Christ's sake women, it is perfectly reasonable to wear jammies all day, my nappy does not require changing EVER and I personally view it as an infringement of my fundamental human rights to not be allowed chocolate buttons for breakfast (I'll compromise with chocolate cake at a push).

And WTF is with the prohibition on drawing on the (new white) sofa. Its like living in a bloody police state.

yy Hummus I've also found that if I don't want to be carried up to bed then by putting my feet against her chest and pushing I can get her to nearly drop me. Not quite escaped yet, but am working on it.

Can I offer strength and support to all of those suffering from this ridiculous, so called 'parenting'?
It helps to remember that you are not alone, we'll get through it together.

I have my own tale to add.
AIBU to tell all the teachers at preschool about my lovely baby brother?

I usually takes him everywhere, and looks after him, but on yesterday Mummy made me leave him in the car because, apparently I was taking to long getting out of mine car seat ALL BY MINESELF.

So I told the teachers all about him, and about how I do all the looking after him, and how Mummy would probably leave him in the car all day. They said I doesn't got a baby brother, but I told them they are silly and I does.

When Mummy came to get me they said,
'Wreakhavoc is adamant that she has a baby brother.' and gave Mummy a look like this , and then, and this is the bit that makes me think the ridiculous woman thinks IABU she laughed and said,
'Oh yes, he's imaginary. She has three imaginary friends and an imaginary puppy.'

As though that makes any difference at all. It's just another example of the mindset that makes her insist on the 'please' and 'thank you' words and get all purple faced when I gets out all my clothes to choose an outfit in the morning. How else am I meant to make an informed decision if I haven't scattered my entire wardrobe over the bedroom. And bathroom. And landing. How?

Make it easier for yourselves by claiming secret victories. She thinks I'm watching Dora while she does work on the puter. I am actually riding Girldog around the living room.

HTH

Wreakhavoc age 3.6

YANBU mummies just have no idea! I mean yesterday after i had a yoghurt, grapes, apple and ice lolly after a hard day at nursery, I asked for crisps and she said NO. There was still half an hour til tea time could you believe! So I compormised and asked for an orange ice lolly and she still said no. I gave her one last chance and asked for a yellow ice lolly and she said " no more food". Then she had the CHEEK to put not one but 2 coats away in the cupboard. And when I said ' no want 2 coats away' she said I was being ridiculous!

Then she realised the rabbit was trying to escape so tried to put it back in it's cage and I had to cry to get her attention, I had to cry really loud and shout 'no want rabbit!' she told me to come outside too but it was cold and I don't like having cold cheeks so I had to cry louder. But then the evil woman PUT THE RABBIT IN THE CAGE, just when I decided to play with him.

She did manage to redeem herself by giving me my tea early though so my crying was worth it :)

And then she gets cross when I call her stupid...

Olibean (2.3)

:o :o :o at this thread :o

WIBU to leave my breakfast this morning then? I mean, I spent the best part of the night awake and yelling, just for shits and giggles, you understand. But because I refused all offers of food at dinner last night, I was hungry at 4.30 am! And for some reason my pissy mother just gave me evils and refused (REFUSED!) to feed me before 6. I wasn't even being fussy - I asked for milk OR porridge, but NO.

Then when she did let me have a feed, and I bit her (just to remind her to be more timely in the future!), she was deeply unreasonable and refused to let me have any more milk.

Luckily daddy is easier to charm, so he took me downstairs until mummy had regained her temper and was able to make me porridge. And then the idiotic woman finally got her act together and presented me with a bowl of porridge, so I had a mouthful and remembered I wasn't actually hungry.

For some reason, frisbeeing a bowl of hot oatmeal across the kitchen table was not deemed an appropriate action at this point.

She then cruelly denied me the opportunity to take my toy garage, collection of cars, and a door stop into the car to go and see the childminder.

Parents, eh.

littlekveta 23 months.

By the way, have you tried weeing on the naughty step? I found it worked very well. If you practise hard enough, you can do a bit of wee on the naughty step, then make your parent change your clothes, then do another bit of wee in the clean clothes :)

This technique has really cut down the number of visits I make to the naughty step. Instead Mummy tends to do shouting, which I can just ignore and carry on playing :o

...i forgot to add. Her latest whim is to try and require ("require" - ha) me to do wee and poo in a potty or even worse the goddamn toilet. Does she not realise that toilets are for adults and not children like me AND they are cold on my bum. This latest development is simply unacceptable.

I have shown some willingness to compromise by agreeing to wee on on the living room carpet next to the potty and even went so far on one occasion as to wee up the back of the sofa. But did she recognise this as a gesture of goodwill on my part - did she hell. In a final attempt at reconciliation I shit on my nan's kitchen floor but no avail - I think she's in cahoots with my mother - splitter.

babybeagle 2.4

It's not just Mummy either! My Childminder would not let me open the gate in the playground. Does she not know that that's what gates are for? I think she should go on a special training course.

And YANBU - your mother clearly has issues that need resolving

Can not wait to see what Tigga's Cub has to say - his letters/comments are legendary!!!

Gilbonzo's Small Person - I've heard that she is a dreadful one too, I can sympathise with you there.

My mummy is clearly several sandwiches short of a picnic.

I am currently being weaned and 2 nights ago consented to eating some of the woman's homemade fish pie. It was extremely tasty and to make a point of commending my mummy, I put my hands in the fish pie and then slapped them as hard as I could against my mummy's boobies.

But then the utter fool of a mummy tried to make me eat it the next day. I sealed my mouth shut and squirmed in my highchair and it took ages for the silly wench to understand that what I liked yesterday is not acceptable today.

mini-stabiliser, 7.5 months

Oh dear, my DM is crying with laughter which makes my little world shake!! I'll kick her in the ribs a bit harder to see if she'll stop. I'm still all warm and snuggly in her tum so I won't be able to try any of these tricks for about another 3 weeks, but I will remember them for ever and ever and I'm sure I'll try them on my Mummy when I'm Outside. I can't wait, I've heard so much about the Outside.

We should all get our mummies to read us a book called "Diary of a one year old" to us, it's written from a 1 year olds point of view and it is exceptionally funny. I don't think they'll read it to us though, they might worry about how many ideas it might give us all.

OP - YADDDNBU to throw fruit.

Omg you all sound like babies... Wait until you get to my age and then see who has it better, I have to clear up after myself, sometimes make my own snack, YES MAKE MY OWN SNACK, I have to tidy my own room, the Mum doesn't come and do it for me anymore, no way, she's far too busy on her laptop to worry about her little Princess.. I have to strip my own bed, MYSELF, although she does help make it back up for me.. tut... And just to add insult to injury, I have to go to school every day, Monday to Friday, and do sums and everyfing...
I hate my life..:(
Princess Age 15 and 3/4's :)

Princess Age 15 and 3/4's I know exactly what you mean.

I am 12 and my parents do not seem to realise that they live in MY house. They keep expecting me to tidy my bedroom before going to the park. Honestly, what are parents for, if it is not to tidy up after us?

I got my own back this morning, by making myself late for my bus (by texting, instead of getting dressed) and got a ride to school. I wouldn't have minded getting on the later bus and getting to school at 10am, but they don't seem to understand ANYTHING! They are just so stupid!

Love the original post. Best use of dripfeed I've seen in a long time.