If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

AIBU to scream everytime my Mummy leaves the room. After all, it's not too much to expect her to carry me on her hip as she moves round the house, she's got 2 hands hasn't she....?

Tell you what though - mine just fell asleep while putting me to bed (I'M NOT TIRED! ) and, whatever else has happened during the day, they're so gorgeous when they're asleep, you'd forgive them anything, wouldn't you?

FunnysInTheGarden I'm 6 and 3/4 so I am in no way immature. Infact I'm the most sensible one in this houe. My daddy just talks nonsense and makes up embarrassing songs and thinks it's funny ( well, sometimes it is, but do you think i'd let HIM know that?) and my mum can't even hold it together at all. I mean my friends have been to play and they've been drinking ribena again and honestly, the noise We had to come down and stand with our hands on our hips at all the giggling, and then they just started up again. Ridiculous - they should be getting an early night because tomorrow morning I'm gonna be up bright and early quite frankly they look as if they could do with it. Hmph

My mummy's been so happy tonight. She was drinking lots of red juice at tea time and I think daddy has got more kisses than me - which is just not fair.

and someone is being very funny as I can hear lots of giggling....

but I think something is wrong with my tummy...

oh no...

I'm doing a sicky and, yuck, it is so smelly......!

babyscot

I cannot believe that I've finally found others who are going through similar things

My awful mummy breaks my banana in half and makes me share it with my cousin! WTF!!!!

I'm just gathering evidence so she can't deny it to others and then I am gone!

And she would only let me take ONE car to nursery. ONE? What the hell do I have 2 hands for then women???

Oh and another thing - does she not realise that No, I don't want to walk but of course I don't want to sit in the bloody pushchair. I want her to carry me and push the buggy. Silly mummy needs to learn to multi task better!

Well I'm nearly 7 now and I think I'd better tell you all that life is just not fair.
It's not fair that I have to put my light off by 8pm.
It's not fair that I can't have my ears pierced
It's not fair that I don't have a tv in my room
It's not fair that I'm not allowed to go on X Factor
It's not fair that every one on in American tv programmes don't have to wear uniform to school
Its not fair that I can't wear shoes with 6 inch heels
Its not fair that I have to do my homework (particularly when I know everything)

I could go on but that's just a very very tiny selection of what you're up against

Love, Mini-McFee age 6 years and 48 weeks

AIBU to ask for a lift up the stairs ('arry ... arry'), and then change my mind when I am picked up? And then change my mind and cry when I'm put down?

AIBU to suspect that my mammy will never come back if she goes outside without me?

(17 months old)

AIBU to be wriggling around and turning my self upside down in my cot? I AM NOT SLEEPY. AIBU to be sitting up in my cot playing with any toy I can get my hands on? I AM NOT SLEEPY. AIBU to keep throwing my dummy overboard and then squawking about it? I AM NOT SLEEPY.
I AM NOT SLEEPY I AM NOT SLEEPY I AM NOT SLEEPY I AM NOT SLEEeeee ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

night night Miniscule-Mcfee age 1

my mummy laughed at me when I had my bonkers half hour, so I took it up a notch and headbutted daddy in the face and he blooded! and mummy laughed and laughed and I laughed and daddy didnt laugh.

ShortandRound 3.2

its so nice to find out i'm not the only one in this situation. My mother can be an absolute arse sometimes and I'd almost started believing it was me with the problem when clearly it is her... Take today for example. I was totally bored after having to spend the whole morning indoors whilst she did housework. Obviously I didn't even want to watch beebies as she actually wanted me to for once so i just followed her round dropping toys and emptying things on the floor, i thought i'd get everything out of all the drawers in the bedrooms - i was helping, obviously. After lunch, she then had the nerve to ask if i wanted to go and play at the park... I mean, WTF? I put up as much of a fight as i could but eventually gave in once she'd promised to buy me an ice cream when we got there. The silly cow then got all uppity when i didn't want to come home. I don't care if its tea time woman... i'm climbing on logs and jumping off high things stupid. It was fun to run away from her and hide in the bushes. That showed her.
mininockey aged 2.7

I have a good trick for you all that will learn your mummy for leaving you with favourite auntie all day. When mummy leaves me with auntie acsec I don't do a poo ALL day!! Doesn't matter how long I stay and play with auntie I save my poo so when mummy comes to get me I can do a really BIG smelly poo in the car on the way home and ensure it goes all up my back.

Hahaha that'll learn mummy, I will also go down promptly for my naps and drink all my milk when with auntie acsec!

mini-McFee I have to warn you in 4 weeks time it will all be just as unfair but your D Mum will tell you to stop stropping because your 7yo now. I mean do things stop being unfair just because you've had another birthday.

From mini-kidding aged 7years and 3 weeks.

oh acsec's DN 8 months

Anyway, have just sneaked on! My mummy got a leeeeetle bit perturbed with me today...
I found this really funny brush thing, in the bathroom, that was covered in stuff, which I thought would be nice to use. So I used it to paint the bathroom walls, towels and bath mat. Then I thought I'd trail down the hallway into my brother's bedroom and on his bed. It made a pretty pale whitey pattern on EVERYTHING!:o Then, mummy caught me She didn't appreciate my artwork-she knows nothing. I think I heard the words toilet and bleach, but I don't know what that has to do with art anyway...

Happy junior age 2.8

My mother is guilty of the most heinous child abuse.... Buying me school shoes that actually fit my very wide feet and my special insoles cos I've got flat feet and have had 2 years of medical appointments x rays etc.
I actually cried in the shoe shop but she just laughed at me and gave me the number of child line. She wouldn't buy me the men's shoes that didn't fit me and cost over £50.
I decided later not to waste my phone credits.
However instead i decided to grunt and mutter incoherently each time the words school, home work and gcse's are mentioned. How dare she interrupt my x box playing with talk of careers, and jobs.
God forbid I'm ever asked to empty a bin or fill a dishwasher I'm sure I'm being abused.
Master ironing aged 14 1/2 years

Anyways, I should be sleeping now, that's what she thinks! Ha ha ha! Not blimming likely. Too much fun to be had. Am wondering how many times I can make her come back upstairs to me tonight. I may try and get in the guinness book of records. She said she was going to Supernanny me, whatever that means, but it won't work. She just doesn't realise who is in charge here, and I really have to work so so hard to help her gain this knowledge...
My big sister and brother are already asleep (fools) but they taught me a few tricks earlier that I have up my sleeve...
I think I may need a poo now :o

at bleach damage, I bet that went down well!

Mummy tried twice today to get me to nap but I just stood and screamed and screamed in my cot until I was all coated in snot and Daddy came and got me (he's such a soft touch) I wasn't tired, just a lot bit grumpy.

So we went shopping instead because Daddy's glasses are super fragile and fell to pieces when I was looking at them and while he was busy with the funny eye doctor man, my brother and I took Mummy for a walk. We were having great fun, I was walking really slowly and my brother was walking really fast - sometimes in opposite directions - and Mummy didn't know where to look. I've been working hard all week getting her up really early in the mornings and I think it's paying off now as the exhaustion is really setting in and she's getting easier to confuse.

Then I decided I wanted to ride in my buggy and cuddle my teddy and drop him on the floor and cuddle him and drop him on the floor and cuddle him. Stupid bear is really bad at being in two places at once and even Mummy must have gotten fed up of him because after he'd not managed to be simultaneously in my arms and on the floor about 5 times, she put him under the buggy in the 'naughty basket'. Stupid bear.

We did go out for Dinner though and I made sure to charm anyone around me with my bright blue eyes and my little blonde curls. I find smiling, waving and saying "Hello" or "Boo" to anyone who will make eye contact works a charm. That way, when I misbehave later on and Mummy has to carry me out of somewhere kicking and screaming, it always makes her look like the bad Mummy she is - after all, how could anyone as cute as me be naughty [angelic ]

Blathersmite aged 21 months

You lot are doing it all wrong. You behave until about age 8 and then start shouting back at them and make sure that you confuse them as to why their angel is hard work. It's also a tragedy when your mum forgets to give you your packed lunch for school. She's so thick at times. I also don't see what this bedtime malarky is all about. I like to play with my lego at 10pm, it settles me to bed. And why do I need to remember to wash my hands and brush my teeth.

GrooveeLad 8 years 11 months

Jeez you think it's bad at 3, wait til you are 11. They try to pretend they're cool and really they are old foggies. I'm fed up of the fact they think clothes belong in the wardrobe and not in the washing basket on the floor. My wardrobe is to hold the toys I don't want rid off. And why won't they let me on the laptop when they're always on theirs playing Farmville or Garden's of Time. I'm sick of going out to the park to meet friends and then having to be home early and what's with the reminder texts and phone calls????

GrooveeGal 1 years 7 months

YADNBU

I have the most heinous parents. They fail to understand my most basic requirements . For example this morning for my breakfast I requested a pancake. I even said "please". Daddy must have understood this but had the temerity to make some kind of pathetic excuse about him and Mummy needing to get to work. Well, I wasn't taking that. So I clung to his leg until he gave up. I had to assist him in preparing the batter to my exacting requirements. Heuristic play is so good for my development but Daddy didn't seem delighted when I demonstrated my developing skills by mixing the batter with my hands and a dog toy.

Anyway the pancake was delicious, well the first bite was. I kindly allowed the dog to have the remainder in a spirit of solidarity with animal kind.

I was still hungry obviously, due to parental incompetance so stated that I "want eggy NOW". My Mother, clearly an ignorant peasant, boiled me an egg and placed it before me. SHE CUT THE TOP OFF THE EGG WITH A SPOON!!!!! Everyone knows you do it with a knife! I was so annoyed by this that I had to leave the table and go over to the rug to throw myself down to express my displeasure. After several minutes of forcibly expressing my point of view I was sufficiently recovered to request a showing of my favourite DVD, Tractor Tom. Daddy put Tractor Tom on for me, the blithering idiot, couldn't he see I meant Little Red Tractor? He took several minutes to work that one out, I'm not sure that he'll ever amount to anything

YANBU my mummy took the big girls shoe off me and didn't let me lick the bottom of it again. It was soooo tasty though I wanted more licks. I think she wouldn't have even noticed if the stupid shoe hadn't left black shoe stuff on my nose. stupid shoe. stupid mummy. I am one big year old. Shoes are yummy.

You will never believe this. That woman has just had the cheek to tell me, that I am being silly now, and should be asleep already! What does she know. Tried being cute, with "want cuddle" and "luff you mummy".

Anyway, it worked, and I'm in! The BIG bed! Night all:)

OMFG norris I am sooo with you. Although I am 5 and loved my DM kissing me good bye when in Reception, now I am in Year 1 it so isn't done. So when DM tried to kiss me bye the other day I had to drag her down the corridor and say 'you can kiss me here'. I mean DM's have no clue, a GIRL could have been watching