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Original poster

If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

403 replies

allhailtheaubergine · 15/09/2011 17:25

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first Hmm. I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there Hmm).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! Shock I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

------
Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

OP posts:
cheekeymonkey · 15/09/2011 21:20

Well I think YABU.

Your DM is obviously very attentive to you, your keyboard skills are years in advance...you didn't get those skills reading the menu at Greggs.

Some people don't know when they are born!

pigletmania · 15/09/2011 21:22

brilliant Grin

Sirzy · 15/09/2011 21:31

YANBU!!

My mummy wouldn't let me playing the cupboard under the sink. Something daft about cemeeecals or somthing in there - they sound fun but she wouldn't let me see them.

I lay on the floor screaming as much as I could but she just ignored me. I mean how rude is that!!

banana87 · 15/09/2011 21:32

You think you have problems??

My mummy took me to get a happy meal for dinner and when we got home she would NOT let me have a crumpet! And I even said the 'p' word!

BabyBanana (2.11)

thecaptaincrocfamily · 15/09/2011 21:35

I can totally see what you mean op! Mummies can be sooo stupid sometimes. My own one got very stroppy when I didn't eat my breakfast this morning .......well who would when big sis spat in it because it took me so long to eat it! Then I get offered a nasty jam sanwidge with the brown spotty bread! Yuk! Then she complains about me not being dressed (I blame dad) but she was upstairs and I had no clothes. SIBVU IMHO Grin

AttillaTheMum · 15/09/2011 21:48

YANBU

What you need to do is find a pot a small paint, (they have screw lids)
You then have to pour it on the carpet, but make sure it is a different colour because that looks pretty. Then you rub it in.

By the way make sure you are wearing a brand new outfit and are just about to go out.

When you have to be washed in the sink shout loudly 'I am not a cup'

Mummies love this

neverputasockinatoaster · 15/09/2011 21:56

Is there a crying with laughter emoticon thingy?

I need one.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 15/09/2011 21:56

Funniest thing I've read on mumsnet EVER I have been crying with laughter, dp looked at me like I was a loon on loon tablets, eventually I was calm enough to read it slowly as I kept laughing again, he said genious.

hester · 15/09/2011 21:59

I've got a toxic mummy too. Today she took me to the cafe for a 'special treat'. Special treat my arse: she got me a banana smoothie that looked at me funny and a raspberry jelly that was full of chuffin raspberries Shock

I said to her, "gak wee mama", and the daft bint replied, "Is that a lovely jelly, darling? Are the raspberries yummy?" After a few minutes of this I understandably lost my rag and communicated her in the only way she would understand: I threw it all across the room and watched smoothie slime splatter across the bare legs of a not-mummy lady.

AIBU to think that this whole situation was (a) her fault, (b) the raspberries' fault, and (c) not my fault? AIBU to think that I should NOT have been carried out screaming and kicking? AIBU to think that if women are too stupid to understand how unwelcome a raspberry is in the middle of a pink jelly, then they shouldn't be allowed to have children in the first place?

TheLadyEvenstar · 15/09/2011 22:00

If my 3yr old had access to AIBU his thread would be

"AIBU to have sulked all the way home and tantrumed because I am not allowed to stay in school all afternoon. I told the teacher I wanted to and she said I wasn't allowed and she would see me tomorrow, so I told her I wasn't coming in again"

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 15/09/2011 22:00

Today my mummy wouldn't let me buy cheese, we brought some cheese but I wanted two more cheese. I like cheese. Well not always sometimes I just chew it up to spit out. That makes mummy cross. When mummy put the cheese back I screamed a lot and laid on the floor, I kickted a laydeee. So mummy picked me up so I put my hand in my nappy so mummy took me home. With NO cheese.

I like cheese.

Bean- Jjs dd aged 2.10

TheLadyEvenstar · 15/09/2011 22:08

Today Mummy took me to the cafe as a treat for lunch before nursery she bought herself a cheese sandwich and me the 2 eggs i wanted doesn't she know I ALWAYS want her food? she should do by now!! So when she went to buy herself another coffee I took all the cheese out of her sandwich and ate it then ate my eggs. She had the cheek to say that it isn't nice, well that'll make sure she buys me a cheese sandwich as well as 2 eggs tomorrow won't it!!!

Moominsarescary · 15/09/2011 22:15

No no no eat pear, wait for mummy to be ready to go out then do big sick down mummys top. If I'm realy upset I do big sick all over big brothers hand wash only top so mummy has to wash it in the sink

Peachy · 15/09/2011 22:18

The aldy at nursery today forgot to give me my sticker so I painted Mummy's shoe red to show her how good my painting is now after a whole week. And I even decorated the clean white washing ready for packing up. And the floor and most of the other clothes she'd already sorted. And the floor is so boring; grown ups floors are always boring. And her red shoes are very pwetty. She said they're not because it will rain tomorow and she will have streaky red shoes but I can't wait to jump in red puddles! Yipppeeee!

pranma · 15/09/2011 22:20

this is the best thread on mumsnet :) :)

AllDirections · 15/09/2011 22:24

YANBU

I waited ages and ages and ages for the big fire engine to come and sort out our smoke alarms on Saturday so I got bored and bugged mummy. She wasn't happy cos she was ironing and told me to be patient (what's that mean anyway!) so I cut my hair. It was fab, I cut off my lovely ringlets and put some layers in. Think I want to be a hairdresser when I'm all growed up. Mummy WVU when she found out (just as the fire engine arrived). I kept quiet about the nail varnish :)

LittleNorth, age 4

beautifulswan · 15/09/2011 23:19

I'm sorry I haven't had time to read the whole thread and apologise if others have already suggested this.

Your mother sounds V passive aggressive. Is she like this with other members of your family?

You are clearly suffering emotional abuse, please get out now There are plenty of other mothers out there who deserve you.

Please call Toddlers Aid now on 87136928761836173

RubyrooUK · 15/09/2011 23:27

YANBU.

My mother is nothing sort of a complete arsebiscuit. For some inexplicable reason, she is not keen to breastfeed me eight times a night and then get up to do her full-time job which she is always moaning is "incredibly stressful". Yawn. Whatever. Lazy slacking swine.

I often have to teach her a lesson as a result. Sometimes I scream at her until I am sick down myself with pure rage. But most effective is when I just crawl on her face and sit there in the night if she is slow to wake up and feed me. This tactic is especially effective if you have a bit of a dodgy belly and have shat yourself quite badly like I did last night. Then she can wake up not only struggling to breathe but with a big glob of sloppy poo in her hair. Then she is really sorry she wasn't just lying there with one nipple lolling in my mouth all night as I deserve.

Smallruby (13 months)

SteelMagnolias · 15/09/2011 23:49

GrinGrin Grin

Fantastic thread Smile

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/09/2011 00:02

Smallruby. Brilliant bravo.

verysmellyeli · 16/09/2011 00:02

Thank you for starting this thread. YADNBU.

Today I requested hoops for lunch. Initially (and surprisingly) my idiot mother offered me hula hoops. I made it clear that I needed getty hoops. In a bowl. I was asked to select which bowl, but the stupid woman, instead of ignoring the bowl I chose, actually gave me the hoops in that actual bowl. With a spoon. FFS. Does she not know that the only way to eat hoops is with your hands?

Anyway, I got her back. Not only did I wee on the toilet floor - twice - before innocently announcing that 'I was not quite in time I am afraid' but I also pinched the cheek of my 9 week old sister and then lay down on the floor in Waitrose in front of one of Mummy's new work friends who I was very much aware that she was trying to impress with her (frankly non-existent) parenting skills.

She'll thank me in the long run for teaching her the very important lesson that I am in control. As she always says to Daddy - 'Try and remember who is the child and who is the adult'

Smelly's DD, age 3.5

verysmellyeli · 16/09/2011 00:03

Smallruby Noooooooo! Grin

worraliberty · 16/09/2011 00:05

Love the opening post Grin

working9while5 · 16/09/2011 00:10

Oh, I hear you OP. Some good tips, though, on dealing with this intransigence. I am taking notes here, as an inexperienced nearly-2 year old.

Anyway, just thought I would share my recent revelation about this behaviour. I have finally worked out what is wrong with my mother, perhaps yours may be similar? This will shock you so I apologise in advance if anyone reading has a particularly sensitive nature.

So, we were in the bathroom last week, she was standing up in the bath with the water pouring on her. She had forgot her jamas. Imagine my surprise when I look up from my trains and realise that the woman is maimed.

"Uh oh", I say with some concern in my voice, "no willy".

And she laughs. She actually laughed about not having a willy. Is it any wonder that she is so difficult? With that level of denial going on, let's face it, she's a bit warped. It explains a lot, don't you think?

piprabbit · 16/09/2011 00:12

You are doing a fantastic job - I'm sure that we all feel like you do at times. Please don't beat yourself up (that's what older siblings are for).

You just need to remain really focused and keep consistently inconsistent. Eventually she'll be broken of this willful behaviour. In the meantime just ignore, ignore, ignore - if she asks you to get your shoes, put on your coat or use the potty.

And don't forget to praise the positive. I find that a big kiss and 'Mummy, I do love you' goes a very long way to ensuring that I remain in control of the most difficult situation.

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