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Original poster

As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

1001 replies

sadlydoingshineypenguins · 24/08/2011 07:52

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much Grin

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

OP posts:
Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 25/08/2011 10:11

Sue - a little bit of wee may have escaped at that. That is perfect Grin

OP posts:
TobyLeWolef · 25/08/2011 10:11

It might mess with his head a bit more if Anna is suddenly incredibly articulate, though?

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 25/08/2011 10:15

Just had a thought. Anna could apply to be one of his friends on facebook (I don't do facebook) and thence would be able to contact all future lady friends.......

But I don't know if I can actually be arsed. Dump and move on is what I'm thinking atm.

Will need to retune my bellend radar though Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 25/08/2011 10:15

Why do men think they can do this and get away with it?

OP posts:
TobyLeWolef · 25/08/2011 10:23

Yep, do this and then move on. He'll only de-friend Anna once he gets the text tomorrow.

HippyHippopotamus · 25/08/2011 10:25

you need to focus on him being and i quote 'a total and utter arse'

have your fun tomorrow but then forget about him, you deserve much better than Bellend Boy

Ephiny · 25/08/2011 10:29

I haven't commented before but have been following this - I think you definitely need to start thinking about moving on now. Personally I think the Anna thing has gone a bit too far with you buying a mobile etc. At some point you have to decide whether he's worth any more of your time and effort and energy. For me I'd like to think that time would have come when I first found out what he was up to. Hopefully for you it'll be tomorrow!

SuePurblybilt · 25/08/2011 10:30

Noooooooo to the FB thing.

izzybizzybuzzybees · 25/08/2011 10:33

Can't wait to see how this turns out!

TheOriginalFAB · 25/08/2011 10:46

Is there any chance he could be reading this?

Changebagsandgladrags · 25/08/2011 10:46

I would just dump him. I wouldn't bother apologising or telling him about Anna not showing. Fun as it would be though. Anna just doesn't reply anymore.

Why let him get the satisfaction of knowing that he caused all this? Better to think he's dumped on your terms rather than for something he did.

Original poster
sadlydoingshineypenguins · 25/08/2011 10:48

He won't be reading this - he hasn't been here since I started the thread and he doesn't know my login for MN and I changed name and password. He thinks MN is a waste of time Hmm and he isn't interested in it

See changebags that's the other thing. If I dump him because of Anna then at least he'll know I knew iyswim? Dumped because he's a cheating lying bellend arse, rather than giving him the out of just dumped because it wasn't working out.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 25/08/2011 10:50

sadly, the risk you run by letting him know that you have played a practical joke on him is that he turns revengeful. Which might mean midnight pizzas at your door, 6am taxis etc. It's just NOT worth it - leave him wondering what the fuck just happened - and walk away without a backward glance.

Changebagsandgladrags · 25/08/2011 10:55

Tell him that your girly night made you realise that he's just not good enough for you.

Ephiny · 25/08/2011 10:57

Yes but i don't think you should concern yourself with what he knows or what he thinks - it doesn't matter. Move on with your life and be thankful you had a lucky escape. All this game playing and manipulation is just giving him an importance in your mind that he doesn't deserve. I could understand it more if he was your husband of many years, but a fairly casual boyfriend - just drop him and never bother even giving him a second thought again.

And like Thumbwitch says, two can play at those sorts of games, which is not a situation you want to get into.

TobyLeWolef · 25/08/2011 11:00

I'd like to agree with those saying "don't waste any more of your time/energy on him", but I'm inclined actually to agree with the OP. This fuckwit man needs to know that she didn't just get tired of him. He needs to know that she knows exactly what kind of a duplicitous cunt he is.

I don't think I'd feel vindicated until I'd managed to let him know, in a totally un-provable way, that I knew.

So if it were me, I'd have to do the Anna thing until tomorrow. Then I would just completely cease all contact as [OP] at the same time.

saffronwblue · 25/08/2011 11:18

Yes, limit the time and energy you put into this. Don't set up a facebook page especially not with your friend's photo- it will be really hard ever to delete it. You don't want anything with ongoing consequences. Just a little messing with his ego.

TobyLeWolef · 25/08/2011 11:22

In case my comment following the FB idea wasn't clear, I meant dump him and move on. Not 'set up a FB account for Anna and wait to be de-friended'.

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 25/08/2011 11:36

I think Sues text is good, but I think you could do better. If Anna is chavvy enough to use txtspk, how about including the word 'munter' or 'mingin'.
Personally, Id still be tempted to simply turn up at the restaurant. Stand there before everyone, calmly let him know in no uncertain terms at full volume that you know exactly what he has been up to, and exactly why he is being dumped, tip his drink over his head and stalk regally from the restaurant!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 25/08/2011 11:43

I disagree with the people saying just move on. if the wanker in question just thinks he's been dumped because it wasn't working out, then he is almost vindicated in his pursuit of "Anna" (in his mind anyway) as the relationship was obviously not right.

The thing that grips my shit about this kind of thing (were I the OP) is that this dickwad thinks he is cleverer than the OP, that he can get away with this and she won't find out Angry It assumes he is smarter, and I would no way let him get away with thinking that. He needs to know that no, he ain't that smart at all- he has been rumbled, humiliated and dumped. Might make him think twice about doing it again.

SuePurblybilt · 25/08/2011 11:47

I wish we lived in 1990s New York. Then we could send a singing telegram to the meeting place.

Damn you, present day.

OTheHugeRaveningWolef · 25/08/2011 11:49

Yes. 'Sry hun saw u thru windo u r mingin not wastin my eve on u laters hun anna xxx'

Portofino · 25/08/2011 12:02

I would definitely have to turn up for lunch with a friend at the same place .....but on the other hand some of these ideas are fabulous Grin

TobyLeWolef · 25/08/2011 12:11

The thing that grips my shit about this kind of thing (were I the OP) is that this dickwad thinks he is cleverer than the OP, that he can get away with this and she won't find out It assumes he is smarter, and I would no way let him get away with thinking that. He needs to know that no, he ain't that smart at all- he has been rumbled, humiliated and dumped. Might make him think twice about doing it again.

Yes. This.

Also, I repeat: NO to tipping drink over his head and/or confronting him loudly. You'll look like a twat and a huge, soap opera cliché. You are smarter and better than that.

Also, I repeat: It would mess with his head more if Anna went from txtspk to incredibly articulate. Unless he's a total dipshit and wouldn't notice.

purpleflower123 · 25/08/2011 12:43

I would text him to say you met a wonderful woman called Anna on your girlie night out and have decided to become a lesbian Grin

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