As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

No- your garden with the chiminea sounds lovely. Plus it will help to keep him on the doorstep and be assertive. If he catches you on your own in a couple of nights (which he will, if you avoid him tonight), you might feel a bit wobbly and end up letting him in. That would be such a shame after you've behaved with such dignity.

Well done sadly - you are amazing! Spend the evening raising a glass or three to Anna and the successful penguining of Mr gitface.

Yay!! Well done you
Enjoy your well deserved wine
will be back later in case anything else has happened

oh god, don't feel stupid - it's not your fault he's an arse

I don't think he underestimated you so much as he over estimated himself

You're brill, have a great night and tomorrow's another day xx

You are fabulous! Well done and good riddance to the little shite.

I can now go away for the weekend with peace in my heart .

Might be quite amusing to let him catch a glimpse of friend, then he could hear her say, "That's the guy I was telling you about!" as you close the door...

Valid point valetude!

Brilliant! I will definitely be hunting you down for advice if I'm ever in this situation again! What a shame you weren't around, and I didn't have your guts when it happened to me years ago! What a brilliant job you've done! Have a lovely evening tonight and a toast from me for getting rid of bellend boy in style!!!

Move on, toast your success, regret nothing. Just think: it probably isn't the first time he's done this. Not to you necessarily, but I'd bet on him being a repeat offender. Be happy you got out of this on YOUR terms after nine months instead of his after 3 years...
all round I think! >>mumsnet needs a champagne emoticon

Just keep us posted! Everything - a blow-by-blow account of what happens when he turns up. Now I really have to go and feed my family although DH does know where the chip shop is.

Absolutely fucking brilliant, all of you :o

Hope you have a lovely free weekend sadly, and keep up the steely resolve!

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Enjoy your garden, chimenea and your wine

Onwards and upwards.

You have been penguined!

Katisha - I was thinking of the Tango ads?? You've been tangoed?? You've been penguined

Maybe you could post him a blank card with a penguin on the front. That would confuse him.

loving Caoimhe's penguining

MN verb addition to the English language: To penguin

Well done OP

Just checked back in.

Brilliant ending.

Glad it made classics.

Ah good luck for tonight and his pointless whining on. lLt him whine to himself and you to yourself.

Sorry about the time you feel you have lost to him but at least you found out this way and had the upper hand. Superb!

OMG I just realised. My thread is in classics

I feel an mn penguin emoticon coming on

Well done you :)

I am in AWE

MIGHTY AWE

Everyone ROCKS

yes! a penguin emoticon! genius!

it'll get used in 'relationships' loads

Superb work, sadly. Hope you weather the inevitable doldrums well - after all, 9 months is a long time, and you will feel sad/angry/bitter, etc.

Do get your health checked out as well (horrible, I know, but...)... you said he cancelled a few nights with you. Who knows what he was up to? Yucky.

Anyway, you have come out of this with great dignity, and the upper hand too. Nice one. Enjoy lots of wine tonight.