There are a couple of things you can do with the rabbit skins. You either hire a dressmaker (use the one making hte dresses, she's obviously quick and she'll probably chuck on this extra for nothing if you let her stay for the food). Said dressmaker will quickly make you and your new dh Tarzan and Jane outfits which you will change into for the reception. We will hire some apparatus (I have some contacts in the rigging world and there's one company who could do things - a little shakily admittedly - for extremely low prices), anyway, you'll abseil among some treetops in your rabbit skins to entertain your guests while they're waiting for the caterers to heat up the sausage rolls.
Or said dressmaker can make the skins into a large blanket which you can lie on to consummate your marriage. If you slip her a fiver she'll give you some blood to spread on it when you show it to assembled guests to prove you were a virgin. Everyone will cheer and the villagers in Kasakubekikistahn will adopt you and you can stay there forever.
Suncottage, I am driving wedge between those two sly ones. It is very subtle so they haven't realised it yet. It will come on them suddenly, ending in explosives on the Big Day. Always nice to finish off a wedding with some Sky Sparkles, don't you think?
Adam Ant is good. I like the juxtaposition of Pimms and Glam Rock Saddo Revival; very fitting. The Pirate Costumes should be in Pimms colours, we'll have to add that to the list for the dressmaker.
The dress definitely needs more bows and frills. I am wondering about a certain amount of real meringue attached, to make sure everyone gets the point; perhaps the bride's head-dress? She could try a garter of meringue which will crumble as she walks down the aisle. A flock of birds could come and eat the crumbs; they could then perch on her head and eat the head-dress too. Or do you think that's going a bit far?
I think it's quite important that the guests are made up mainly of people the bride and groom don't know or don't like.
Suncottage, I'm wondering if we could add to the occasion by having a serious disagreement over arrangements a few weeks before the wedding and being incommunicado?
Also, August is bad for me for the next few years. Could we move the whole shebang to late Jan/early Feb? Skimpy dresses look so much nicer in the snow.