What do you think about spouses/partners staying overnight on postnatal wards?

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

The organisation Birthrights (with whom we've done some stuff in the past) are planning a new campaign called First Night, and wanted to know whether it's something MN could support - so we said we'd ask you lot!

Here's Birthrights' description of the campaign:

'Birthrights is a human rights in childbirth charity, and we will be launching a campaign later this year to ensure women aren't left alone on often over-staffed postnatal wards, but instead can choose to have their partner remain with them overnight. We will be researching what's important to women, partners and staff, the barriers and benefits, and working with units who've implemented this policy to draw up best practice guidelines to use as they lobby for change.'

So please let us know what you think. Is this something you'd like us to swing behind?

Thanks
MNHQ

Isn't it interesting how almost every pro post on this thread is about how someone would feel about their own partner being on the ward. Whereas the negative ones are mostly about the women who don't have anyone, whose partner would be a negative presence or about the issues of having other partners (however nice) on the ward.

The negative responses seem to be from those who are thinking about the greater good, rather than just their own selfish wants.

Agree there are many more campaigns I could think of in this area which are much more worthwhile. This one sounds like madness (and a waste of research funding). Tempted to send an email to birthrights about all the other shortcomings I found during my birth/postnatal experience. That would keep them busy for a while!

I'm a market researcher. I'll work with you and help you construct an objective piece of research if you like?

That's a brilliant offer, BIWI. I hope they accept.

I do too Biwi.

Hope they accept your offer that is!

Could birthrights not possibly look into the idea of promoting/creating some sort of volunteer support group?

CAB checked and trained women who volunteer to work on postnatal wards and offer support?

If anyone wanted to train as a MW it would be good experience and there are just other people who are willing to volunteer for things.

I think a volunteer cadre of support staff would be brilliant but the work and resources it would take to train them would be quite daunting.

I haven't read all pages thoroughly but imagine I am going to be in a minority saying that i would have given anything for DP to have been able to stay overnight. I was for various reasons moved to a hospital quite a long way from home, then had to stay in for a week as baby was in SCBU. I found the whole experience horribly isolating and nearly fell apart. I had no idea who else was around me and whether they were male or female.

However, I do agree that another woman's need for privacy needs to be protected. I'm not sure how the two could be reconciled.

Personally I'll be aiming for a homebirth next time.

It would, my thought was that the charity Homestart train (and CAB check) volunteers to go into people homes, they started in one area and have grown so that they now cover the whole county. I believe that they also get funding from local councils now as they are seen as providing such valuable support.

If Homestart was able to provide cover in peoples homes then possibly the same could be done for hospitals.

I'd have preferred immediate release after giving birth to sleep at home rather than staying overnight in the pn ward again. The 2 worst nights sleep of my life.

See, bottom line is, where on earth would the money come from?

The NHS is overstretched. The midwifery service is underfunded.

I can think of many more uses for funds than providing private rooms for couples who think they can't possibly bond with their babies unless both are present 24/7.

I know what it's like to have a difficult birth, but luckily, back in my day there were enough HCP on hand to care for me and my baby. My DH could go back to work so that he could take holiday (no paternity leave!) when we came home.

He bonded just fine with all of our children.

I can understand where something traumatic like a stillbirth has occurred, but when it's a 'normal' delivery I think some of you are being a little PFB about it all.

There are many, many more calls on the money that would be needed. And far more important ones in my view.

In some respects- brilliant. I had a catheter in post c section and could not get out of b ed and my baby was screaming, had to lift her by her clothes with one hand out of her cot until I could reach with my other arm as there's was no one to help. I had to change her nappy repeatedly on my knee which was at best uncomfortable. In the end for four nights I just held her on my chest and got hardly any sleep as there was no one there to assist. It was awful. I was so exhausted by the time I got home I had spend two days crying.

But the wards are small so I can see the problems with this. It would be great if you had some privacy for your partner to stay. Perhaps the campaign should not just accept that post natal wards should be understaffed- maybe they could campaign for better post natal care and then this would be less of an issue.

I strongly object to the idea of volunteer helpers for the following reasons:

1. This is valuable and vital work and as such should be properly paid.
2. There is no mutual obligation with volunteers unlike with a contract of employment.
3. The work required is relatively unskilled (with the exception of breastfeeding advice) and so would not cost as much as a registered nurse or qualified midwife
4. Cost is always an issue but good postnatal care and early breastfeeding support have repeatedly been shown to have a positive impact that leads to a cost saving elsewhere.

absolutely ik8

I agree with tiggytape - the idea of a 'night doula' provided by the hospital eg- extra person/HCA/Volunteer who stays and can be that basic liason person for the bay - eg getting water, assisting mothers out of bed, helping with changes/ help mum position for breastfeeding, answer the call bell when the trained staff are busy get linens etc,

This would freeing up the midwifes and HCAs to do observations/medical care/personal care/meds while still ensuring that all mothers have basic 'partner level' support

This would have the benefit of giving every mother extra assistance, by a neutral individual not related to any patient and able to assist everyone equally, no issues with space/noise/snoring/safety/infection control/pressure on resources on the wards, no need for security and enforcement, and hopefully every mother would have a better experience knowing that there was an extra vetted, trained, CRB checked individual to assist them, with a code of conduct/ability to deal with any problem

Does Birthrights fancy trying to set up a trial of this sort of overnight/out of visiting hours support system?

Crosspost ik8, I agree with you that this should ideally be a paid position, integrated with the ward staff, and a part of the team - less skilled/trained than midwifery/HCA/nursing staff perhaps but the value of their contribution and their code of conduct established.

Night doula sounds like my dream job .

The sleepover for partners is clearly a dead horse and hopefully one that birthright won't spend any more time or money flogging when they could put their resources to better use actually doing something women would find genuinelysupportive.continuing with the research to show women don't actually want this is throwing good money after bad.

Someone mentioned on one of these 2 threads the fact the website says feminist groups are 'silent' on the matter of birth rights.

I am sorely tempted to send these threads to Southall Black Sisters for their take on it. As Quangle says, it is likely to be women alone, women with limited English etc' who will get ignored when nice pushy partners are there... and women who have been victims of domestic/sexual abuse or FGM are going to be 'silenced' at the one time they could disclose.

But I wonder if Birthrights think silence is preferable to 'you got it wrong'?

was thinking that Mrs Cakes - it could be quite a popular post
eg you could do set shifts, could fit round school times, it utilises personal qualities/skills and expertise of mothers, might have a high rate of job satisfaction

I would rather my dh wasn't there.
I would feel uncomfortable with other people's male partners all being there, but I would be happy for genuine need to trump that.
I would like to see more midwives and hca's around to support women both pre, during,and post birth.