We Believe You: we're launching our rape awareness campaign today.

[KateMumsnet]

Today, we're very proud to be launching a new campaign. It's called 'We Believe You', and it's inspired by the many MNers who've asked us to speak out about the prevalence of rape and sexual assault in women's lives.

While we're at it, we're going to try to explode, once and for all, some pernicious myths about rape - about who does it, what it is, and whom it can happen to. These myths mean that many victims are denied justice: our survey confirmed that most don't report their rape or sexual assault, for fear of being disbelieved.

So the message of our campaign is in the title - we believe you. We hope MNers will get behind it, and spread that message far and wide - on Facebook, and on Twitter, using the hashtag #webelieveyou. And don't forget to let us know what you think here on this thread.

We're also giving a shout-out to Rape Crisis, the End Violence Against Women coalition, and Barnardo's - all of whom are supporting our campaign. They all work hard on sexual violence issues - either by supporting those who've experienced it, or campaigning for better prevention strategies - so do see if you can help them out.

MNHQ x

MmeLindor, i could not agree more!!! And the problem is that once a woman has been abused she is much more likely to allow it to happen again in the future. Her sense of self-worth is damaged and she questions her own judgement of what is clearly a harmful/degrading situation. I want the exact same thing as you, to raise awareness at a younger age and also to stop women betraying their sisters by perpetuating the myths. Is there any way we all can shout this out together? Awareness is rising but it is rather piecemeal, we need to be more 'joined up' about this. What do you think? What do the rest of the I Believe You campaigners think? What about you, Mumsnet?

I believe you all. An eternal thank you for believing me.

Julia
I am writing a blog post about this, and will ask MN what they think.

I asked on Twitter if there are any teachers who could tell me if rape awareness is taught in school. This was the reply from RapeCrisisLondon

"Not a teacher but we give workshops in schools on what enthusiastic consent is. Can be quite hard to get schools to engage."

It is a tricky subject, cause Sex Ed in school is soooo fraught with parental interference, but it is certainly worth a shot.

Oh, I am so dim

MNHQ are already on this. I hadn't noticed this for some reason. Will write a blog post and link to this campaign.

MN are indeed campaigning on this issue

Get writing to David Cameron.

MmeLindor - I have to thank you for sharing my story on your blog. Thank you.

I hope that those who do comment on your blogs, are factual, honest and don't fill it up with nasty remarks.

I hope more than anything that the voices are getting louder, stronger and braver.

No-one is alone in this, no-one needs to feel isolated by the circumstances that they find themselves in.

We should stand together, side by side, holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, all feeling the same, hoping for the same outcome.

"We Believe You" are the most important three little words that we should be saying to the survivors of rape, to the survivors of abuse, to those who have been brave enough to speak up, to turn up their tiny voice to an audible level.

Three. Little. Words.

Mary
I have the blog set that I have to moderate the first comment from a user. Without exception, all comments have been 100% supportive, both directly on the blog and on FB and Twitter feeds.

I keep seeing the campaign referenced on other websites, even those unconnected to MN, and it is clear that it had a big impact.

To all who shared their stories, who were brave enough to come forward and talk to me, I would like to say that you are inspirational women. You have shared your stories, without self-pity, with so much dignity and courage.

I am proud to have been part of the campaign.

This is a great campaign. I always thought what my ex husband did to me was acceptable because we were married, but now, thanks to Mumsnet and Women's Aid, I found out that it wasn't. Keep up the good work!

Thank you MmeLindor - that's a relief to read.

I have found great peace, cant explain, from having just told my story and well, been believed.

It has really really helped, thank you.

that is wonderful.

(and just think of all the readers and lurkers out there who also believe you as their default position. gerzillions of them. just because we're not posting every day on this thread doesn't mean we aren't all here).

I'm all here.

I believe you and it was not your fault

not only was it not your fault, it was the rapist's fault, squarely and unequivocally.

I'm here too. Lurking but here

I'm here too.

I'm watching this thread with a feeling of calm and ease. It's hard to explain really, I just feel 'better' knowing that there are others out there, just like me, in a relationship (or out of it now) who accepted their abuser.

I don't mean accepted, I don't know what word to use. What I'm trying (and failing ) to say is that I accepted his behaviour because we were in a relationship. I loved him, and he said he loved me too. I wanted him to love me.

It's strange to look in on my past, it's as if I'm watching that advert for rape that's running. I can sometimes visualise myself screaming at the me in the past, 'get out, get out, get the hell out of there'

I didn't. I stayed and I kept my DD there too. That's the hardest thing for me to come to terms with, that I put her through all of that. I didn't protect her from him, I'd often 'bribe' her to want to stay with him and not see her real father.

I would plead with her to be good so that he, the ex, didn't get cross with her. I was so scared that he'd hit her on one hand but on the other, I wanted him to love her and treat her as his own.

I wanted to marry him, have children with him, he was slowly grinding me down and using my desires against me. He would play so many mind games, he'd blackmail me, emotionally.

Promises of marriage, children, time together...... I used to wonder why I didn't see what he was doing. The simple answer for me is that I didn't want to.

Thankyou Mumsnet for this campaign. And a huge thank you to Rape Crisis for all the help I have had over the years. To any one thinking of asking for help please keep trying, and it can take months, when you do get through it will be worth it.
The counselling I received restored my belief in myself. Really gives you hope, just having someone listen, believing you and support you through all the emotional and messed up feelings.
To everyone who believed in me when I did not believe in myself, including DH. Rare and special people. Thank you
With me I had hidden all of the memories (its what I did to survive) and was scarily horribly angry when DS was small. After shutting myself in a room on my own and banging my head on the wall, I realised that this was not right, felt a bit weird to go to GP with it, so I rang Rape Crisis.
Got to the bottom of what I was angry about, abuse at age twelve, rape at age 20, never reported, thought nobody would believe me because I was a drunk punk :( I had every right to be angry.
Very proud mum of DD, DS, both at uni, both brilliant lovely people.
To any one just starting out with healing from any of this stuff, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It?s not your fault, it?s theirs. And I BELIEVE ALL OF YOU.

Hi
I just wanted to post my daughters story, she was raped in the summer, she was almost 15 and a virgin. When she finally felt strong enough to tell us, it broke our hearts. We gave her all the support we could and got her all the external support and advise we could and as a family decided we would get through this. The part we have struggled with the most is my daughters peers at school, she has been bullied on such a level we had to with draw her from school as she was close to having a break down. A group of girls have decided this could not have happened so she must have made it up!! I really wish they could have witnessed the trauma, grief and complete helplessness I have seen, and how their cruel comments have effected her. Her School said they do not know what to do and she should just keep coming to school!!,bit hard when you are at total breaking point. The thing that keeps me going, is my daughter she is totally amazing and getting stronger. We need to educate girls that victims do not deserve this treatment, that they can speak out and will be believed. This can be done at school. Thank you MN for giving all these strong beautiful women and girls, a voice to speak, WE DO BELIEVE YOU. I am still having meetings with the school to try and work with them about educating about rape and consent but they seem unwilling to do anything. Please anyone who has any positive advise pass it on to me.

Oh smiler I'm so sorry

That must be heart-breaking for you all, but so glad your daughter is getting stronger all the time. She does sound amazing. She is so lucky to have you and your absolute support. Am so sorry she has experienced bullying at school after her terrible experience. That is awful too. You must be so angry and upset I imagine. I hope she has some good friends though who can support her through this.

We believe you both.

Smiler what an utterly horrid thing to happen to your daughter.

I have no words of advice as such but PLEASE keep going, keep fighting. I'm appalled that the school have not acted on the bullying, that in itself is hard to live with, let alone what your DD has been through.

Can I ask, please don't answer if you'd rather not, did you or your DD report the rape to the police? If so, what was the outcome?

If you'd rather not say, I understand completely. I just wondered what action they had taken.

I'm so upset for her, your DD. I hope that as time passes, she will realise that this is NOT her fault, she didn't 'ask for it' or any of the other remarks that get bandied about with situations like this.

Has she or you spoken to RAPE CRISIS or WOMENS AID?

Maybe you could both look on the website?

Why not stay on this thread and talk about it for a while? I should imagine that you are also suffering with this. And, I have little doubt that if you could swap places with her, you would in a heartbeat.

Hi

Thanks for your supportive messages and I will keep going!!! it is so important that every victim is offered support and compassion and made to feel they made the right choice by reporting. We did go to the police but after a lot of heartache and the police telling us they would take it as far as possible but convictions are hard to get, we made the choice to drop charges, which was a horrendous choice to have to make. We have had wonderful support from the agencies. If only I could trade places with her or make it all go away then yes I would do it in a heartbeat, but the best I can do is offer support and hopefully the knowledge that things will change and her story can help others.

School would def be a good place to start, sex education is not complete without coverage of this subject. Recently my daughter revealed her uncle had shown her porn when she was a teenager she had no idea it was sexual abuse so maybe outlining the legal perameters might be a good idea. When I warned my 15 year old son about his uncles behaviour he said he didn't know what the fuss was about! Teens are easy picking if they don't have knowledge.

School would def be a good place to start, sex education is not complete without coverage of this subject. Recently my daughter revealed her uncle had shown her porn when she was a teenager she had no idea it was sexual abuse so maybe outlining the legal perameters might be a good idea. When I warned my 15 year old son about his uncles behaviour he said he didn't know what the fuss was about! Teens are easy picking if they don't have knowledge.