D'ya ever wonder who passed the responsibility for starting a new d'ya ever wonder thread...

[curiositykilled]

It was ruby... she passed it to the newbie!

Yep, done all of half a page!! And now I have to drag all four round sainsbos for tahini cos I've sat here timewasting working so hard.

I shoudl think at least two dresses is mandatory, pixi! Medieval feast sounds great fun. Good luck with the course, sounds great. I did psychology in a level and really enjoyed it, but wasn't terribly good at it!

Well, I am a bit ... XP came round today with something to tell me. Apparently he has just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Radio GaGa lives!!!

I have been singing this at full pelt all afternoon. Don't know why, it just crept into my head............. haven't heard in in the longest time

curiosity......why did he come round to tell you? Does it change anything?

It could potentially. He had decided to let DH be their dad. He could have treatment and decide he wants to be their dad after all. Everything had just settled down. He had agreed to let DH adopt them once we'd been married 5 years, he wanted to take a back seat. We have set everything up around this. The children are the happiest they have been in a long time.

Plus it makes me sad because it means the horrible things he did to me might've been because he was sick all the time, which I suspected at the time but couldn't do anything about. It just makes me feel like all the children and I's suffering could have been avoided or has been unnecessary in some way.

I just feel strange about it. I'm quite glad he told me, I think we did all need to know. He's been flakey with contact recently it will help DS to know why.

The way he seemed - in shock, rather pale and nervous. I think he might've been trying to explain that he was ill and that's why he was horrible to me and was looking for me to forgive him? Maybe I don't know. I had forgiven him long ago anyway.

curiosity, hope things stay settled and ex doesn't rock the boat.

Chops, your dress is fab .

Well, thanks to Pixi, I have got precisely nothing done today. I have read the whole of that old thread - and boy did it bring back some memories, happy and sad. I can only say that I am glad that the toddler years are behind me - although having said that, I am still up 3 or 4 times a night at the moment with DT2, so plus ca change etc etc .

The upside of having read that whole thread was that it reminded me how gorgeous mars' LDC is, so I have made one for our school's Macmillan coffee morning tomorrow. But that's not good news for my waistline!

Our house is being painted! This morning it was a not very nice shade of reddy/pink...this afternoon it is a very sophisticated sort of old-fashioned green (IFKWIM), with cream and white to set it off. I think it looks nice, but it will take some getting used to .

DH is out tonight, so I have 2 episodes of Grey's Anatomy and some LDC to keep me company .

The thing is, I couldn't stop him being their dad if it is what he really wants and he's going to do it properly having got the help he needs. Poor DH might feel very undermined and excluded, he has been the only real dad they've had up till now. I'm worried it'll come down to choosing between DH and XP and I'm not sure what would be right. My initial feelings are that being a dad has nothing to do with biology and I should stick with the plan we have already begun but that'll be tough on XP and maybe the children and I'm not sure it'd be right...

I'm getting ahead of myself anyway...

tkb sorry.

I can't find a local coffee morning to go to, will have to see if dh fancies driving into the city. Problem is it costs so much for petrol (about 25 miles round trip) and then parking charges, I'd be better off sending a cheque for a couple of quid, which I wouldn't do because would be embarrassed by it being such a paltry sum.

Happy Birthday snorris hope you had a lovely day and got spoilt rotten by your dh and lovely dds.

Pixi, I'd send you a piece of LDC, but I'm not sure there'll be any left.... And it's gluten-free - v. pleased with that. Although the girls have all turned their noses up at it - never mind, all the more for me .

I'm sure Macmillan would be delighted with any sum, no matter how big or small. They did a lot for my FIL in his last days - it was reading that thread through that reminded me of it all, so although I wasn't going to go, I am now.

Right, that's enough computer time for me today. Have a headache now . If you see me here again, send me to bed .

Curiosity, it sounds like you've had a real sod of a day. Sorry, I'd already fired off an email to you before I'd read any of this. Please feel free to ignore

curiosity, what a place to be in. I'd wait until things really changed enough for you to be confident in your XP before making concrete plans about the children - people can quite often make big steps after receiving a diagnosis and help, but whether they choose to stick with the help in the long run is a different story.

A friend of mine had two children, one with Aspergers and one with ADHD, and was in a very difficult marriage with their father. Eventually, he also got diagnosed as having Aspergers and a lot of stuff made sense for all of them - like your XP he was partly shocked, partly relieved. They made major changes to their diet and lifestyle which helped for a while but the marriage did break down eventually. Having the diagnosis made him realise that when he had access to the kids, he was better if it was along with another member of the family (like his mum or sister) so it made it a better experience for the kids and made his XP more confident aboout him having contact.

Don't know if that's helpful to know. Like you, my friend felt like a light had dawned on their relationship. Some of it she felt guilty about ('If only I'd known it was his illness talking', etc) but a lot of it made her realise it was never going to work.

In reference to what somebody posted earlier, LargeG&T and LargeGlassofRed are two different people, but it also confused me there for a while.

curiosity, mmmmm, take time, nothing is going to change overnight. There is a lot to think about and yet nothing to think about until a bit of time passes and XP lets this sink in. When you say that you'd decided your DH would be dad.......do you mean that XP was intending having nothing more to do with DS? Can't DS have 2 dads, one he lives with, one he doesn't? Sorry, I don't know the mechanics of your relationships and so I don't mean to look at it lightly. Take time. Nothing has really changed, not yet and not for some time xxxxxx.

Pixi!!!!!!!! Right young laydee. Stop beating yourself up about giving and coffee mornings! Don't you see..........you already did your bit. If you hadn't posted, TKB wouldn't have made the LDC which in turn will pull in an extra couple of quid. Your donation has happened already!!! I order you not to traipse around searching for a coffee morning.

Where's trips?
Where's Shabs?
Where's Doris?
Where's Mars' shag me shoe?
Why is Ruby quiet?
What did she buy at the shops?
Where's HM?
Where's Pazza?
Why do I have a period AGAIN?
When will I stop eating and start exercising?
Why do I think I have to stay up late every night? (AFIIK)
Why did I make tattie and leek soup tonight? (because DD1 is coming home tomorrow and requested it)
Who turned 60 yesterday and is still so handsome I could faint? (Bruce)
Shall I make another cuppa since this one got cold?

Answers on a stuck down pair of pants please.

Hi Momma, did you ever get my reply email? We are totally cursed on email.

love this song

Im here Frumpster.

Curiosity that must have been a very difficult meeting today. One day at a time love - Im a firm believer in 'what will be will be' and I can understand why todays revelation has affected you the way it has xxxx

Love it Shabbs, and yet again you've reduced me to tears. I give you something, at least you're consistent

LOL Dizzy - sorry, my love, didn't mean to!! I love her face when she is singing that song she looks so pissed off fed up! OK lets cheer up a bit - what kind of music do you like?

Exactly FG, (re Pixi, the coffee morning and the LDC) - just what I was trying to say . Hoochie, I will try to save a piece for you . Or just make another one for when I see you!

Just popped back on to say 'congratulations' to zippy - I forgot earlier. Doubt she'll be popping by any time soon, and even if she does, she'll be hard pushed to catch up with the thread - we're filling them up quickly these days girls, back to our old ways . Hope it's all going well zippy.

Trips - are you about?

Give me a good bit of 80's cheese

While I'm here, can anyone tell me if a tugging sensation and popping could be one of the babies playing or doing something to their umbilical cord. It happened earlier, but so far no-ones come back to me. Oh actually the pop just happened again, am thinking hiccups but it's the tugging sensation I'm wondering about more. Ds was so well behaved in comparison