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When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

Original poster

If one more idiot says.......

67 replies

pophas2beans · 22/07/2008 11:42

'oh no, twins, poor you' or 'what on earth will you do, how will you cope?' I swear to god I will scream abuse at them. I'm so happy to be having twins and some people's reactions are so negative. They've never had twins so how can they comment? I see myself as a very lucky and blessed person and wish that they would just be bloody happy for me.

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tutu100 · 22/07/2008 11:52

My cousin has twins and is expecting their 2nd set of twins. It makes me laugh when people say "how will you cope with twins?" because they already have.

Congratulations. I'll be honest my cousins twins were easier to look after than my ds, many because they slept better. Start screaming abuse next time someone says that. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones and the fact they are talking a load of twoddle.

glamourbadger · 22/07/2008 13:56

It says more about them than you. You get past it after a while - it tends to just go over my head now. Twins are hard work to start with but such a blessing - mine are 2.4 and I couldn't be more pleased to have had two at once.

piximon · 22/07/2008 19:18

Congrats pop, but you'll have to get used to it I'm afraid. The comments will get worse once they're here, esp as you have a little one already. Expect to hear "you've got your hands full" on a daily basis, more comments depending on how much you venture out.

Even 18mths down the line I get fed up with the comments we attract. I was really surprised during my pregnancy by the number of people saying negative things to me. I vented on the multiples thread about some of them including the mums at the nursery discussing how they'd have had an abortion if it was them!

Join us on the thread linked above and let us know when you're due and if you know what you're having. We're a friendly bunch and have all been through it. We'll celebrate your happy news if no one else will.

jennyroper · 22/07/2008 20:27

Today someone said 'wow aren't you lucky' when i told them my tummy held 2 people. It was such a lovely thing to hear.

handlemecarefully · 22/07/2008 20:32

They are trying to show concern for you/ some interest. Plus twins are interesting and a talking point. Incidentally, twins, I have it on good authority, are a lot of work so they are not talking twaddle.

Why get wound up

MarsLady · 24/07/2008 18:16

I completely understand why you feel wound up (sorry HMC...but when you've heard it umpteen times it gets very wearing).

Come join us on the d'y ever threads. We can give you some lovely one liner answers!

Congratulations on your DTs. Truly blessed

3Ddonut · 24/07/2008 18:20

You are blessed!! I'm a bit [evny] of you multiples mams really!!! Congrats!!!

frumpygrumpyhasPMT · 24/07/2008 20:47

Oh, please join us on our daily thread, we never say all the insensitive crap and in fact we keep a list of all our personal worst ones and lay them out and laugh once we have vented

I think the worst one I heard of was "oooh, twins, how lovely, which one do you prefer".

frumpygrumpyhasPMT · 24/07/2008 20:49

HMC, it can be a pita, esp if you are having a tough day and you hear it AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. Sometimes I wanted to scream "BECAUSE I BLOODY HAVE TO".

Or when you are having a good day, feeling extremely proud of yourself and someone brings you down by saying "poor you, how awful, bet you wish you could put one back".

bogie · 24/07/2008 20:49

Congratulations on your twins sorry people are saying stupid things to you, I would love twins

georgimama · 24/07/2008 20:52

how weird, I would have loved twins, I can't imaine anything more fabulous (although DS is twice as fabulous as most children anyway).

at mothers who said they would have an abortion if they were pregnant with twins, they must be quite mad and you can safely ignore everything they say on any subject, what a dreadful thing to say to a pregnant woman.

oooggs · 24/07/2008 21:05

my twins as babies were easier than ds1 (infact they still are!!) and they can't be that bad because I am having another baby so will have 3 under 2.

And if you pop over to the multiple thread you will see I am not the only mad stupid one to have done this

so just for you 'expecting twins, how lovely - double the joy'

sweetkitty · 24/07/2008 21:14

congratulations on your twins you are truly blessed, I am holding a 9 day old and the thought of 2 of them aww you are so lucky I would have loved twins.

twinmumdandc · 29/07/2008 00:00

Congratulations! I know what you mean about the negative comments, it drove me mad too. My midwife gave me a good response to them though; the next time someone asks you how you'll cope just tell them you'll see how it goes, and if after a few weeks you don't like it, you've heard that ebay's a wonderful thing!

Looking back, all the negative comments made me think that having twins was going to be a nightmare, and the reality was it wasn't as bad as people made out. Remember, most of these people who say these things don't have twins.... so what do they know! Good luck!

RuffleTheAnimal · 29/07/2008 00:03

i think people are just trying toi be nice, in a lame and rubbish way. they are trying to sympathise with your workload to come.
id LOVE to have twins. i have always wanted to be a twin.
ho hum.

RuffleTheAnimal · 29/07/2008 00:03

kitty! congrats my dear! (nappies with silly name change)

thumbwitch · 29/07/2008 00:04

Congratulations! but I can understand why they say that; I am an elder sister to twins and my mum really did have her hands full but coped pretty well considering.

My bro and his ex had twins by IVF and she didn't cope that well at all; a while before she left my bro she had been saying that she would like to have a single baby to "just enjoy it" - dunno what she thought she was going to do with the twins while she was "just enjoying" a new baby!!! Twat. Lucky she didn't have any more really.

thumbwitch · 29/07/2008 00:09

Also, annoying though it must be, it can't be as bad as a comment I got from some mad old biddy when I was au pairing for twin boys in Italy several years ago: the boys were 22mo, fraternal twins, very different.
MOB: they are twins?
Me: yes
MOB: they are very different
Me: yes
MOB: fo they eat different food?
Me: no
MOB: were they born in different places?
Me: [WTF????!!!!] errr, no.

I told their mum, she was in hysterics at the thought of running down the road between babies to have the second one in a different hospital!

penona · 29/07/2008 10:45

Poor you! I have 13 mth old twins and get stopped at least once a week by the 'oohhh you've got your hands full there' or 'double trouble' comments. I know people are just being friendly but it is SO wearing! I have no idea how to respond either!

The funniest I had was a lady who demanded to know why I had twins. She kept saying 'why? it is such hard work. I don't know why anyone would have twins' We were in the queue in Tesco but I seriously considered a biology lecture.

And I get asked all the time if my boy/girl twins are identical. 'Oh, but they look the same'....

So, only thing I can suggest it, perfect a vacuous smile .... it goes on for a while yet!

Idobelieveinfairies · 29/07/2008 10:54

ohhh it drives you mad.

When i was in town once i had my latest twins who were kinda newborn age in their double pram....2 women were coming out of BHS...one said to te other..'it could be worse, it could have been twins' whilst looking into the pram .....

people always asked my which was the older twin....when i replied with which one they said 'i thought so as he/she is bigger'..as if 1 minute birth difference makes a difference!...i just laugh!

Congrats

Idobelieveinfairies · 29/07/2008 10:59

ohhh it drives you mad.

When i was in town once i had my latest twins who were kinda newborn age in their double pram....2 women were coming out of BHS...one said to te other..'it could be worse, it could have been twins' whilst looking into the pram .....

people always asked my which was the older twin....when i replied with which one they said 'i thought so as he/she is bigger'..as if 1 minute birth difference makes a difference!...i just laugh!

Congrats

thumbwitch · 29/07/2008 11:08

he he Penona - yes, lots of people ask if my bro and sis are "identical twins" too!! biology clearly not any of the fools' strong point

mamadiva · 29/07/2008 11:21

I have identical twin sisters aged 3 and my mum used to get random people telling her their family history, my great uncles cousins neices's daughter had twins LOL. It was like oh interesting thanks for that now backa way from the pram. Also used to get 'Oh look at gthe twins there's 2 of them' quite alot

charleymouse · 29/07/2008 11:36

Congratulations Pop. You are truly blessed and it will be is wonderful. When I got the coment double trouble I would smile inanely and retort "yes; but twice as nice."

Good luck with your beans and I for one am very happy for you.

charleymouse · 29/07/2008 11:37

comment. DOH

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