Being a mum is great

[Y1]

I wish i could find someone who actually stops whinning about there husband and kids. I have twins who are almost two, a husband who works long hours and i am a stay at home mother. But my life is blessed. My choice was to be a mother, and with that to take on the responsiblities that come with it. So what if i can't poo in peace, or watch a show on tele. I do all my housework cook breakfast, lunch and dinner and take care of my family. Thats my life and i love every second of it. (even the tears and fights). I wish other mothers could be as happy with there choice to be a mother and a wife cause nobody makes you chose these roles.

Y1, I'm really happy for you, honest. You're right, people who have children are blessed in comparison with those who can't.

You're lucky - you have children, a loving husband and enough money.

There are plenty of people on these boards who have sick children, or unloving husbands or children with special needs or financial worries - and they have every right to moan. I don't really think that these boards are full of moaning ingrates though, I very rarely see anybody moaning without reason and if they do they tend to apologise and say it's to let off steam.

I'm pleased that you are happy, and I admire you for being so capable with twins. I agree with your point of view if you know a lot of similar mums with good husbands, lovely children and enough cash who moan about their lot in life. I really don't think they're here though

I am a whingey mum - usually whinging about my whingey kids - wonder where they get it from?! I'm inspired by your attitude though - often wonder why I feel so miserable when if I think about things logically I am one of the most lucky people in the world. It's just chemicals in your brain really - can't always help it! Although if you really try you can change your attitude to life and think generally more positively - I just haven't managed it yet. Like your thread though.

eh?

Its letting off steam ,Y1

I come on here and whinge and it makes me a much better mum.

I need that.

And I don't relish every second of it, tbh. Its bloody hard work.

My dts are almost 3, and to put it bluntly they are damn right bloody naughty, I would have to be insane to enjoy every moment, i whinge like crazy about them, it does'nt mean I dont love the bones of them, oh and for the record, they were angels 6 months ago, so dont speak too soon, you may well be joining the whingers in the near future.

Arfishymeau. I never said anything about having alot of money. I had to plan my kids (for obvious reasons). I work 3 jobs for 5 years saved 2 of my paychecks so i could stay home with my kids until they went to school. i lived on during this period about 3 hours sleep a day. i totally empathised with those with unloving husbands, sick babes, financial needs and special need kids. i understand the hard work, but i've read posts from people who openly say they hate their kids, can't stand their hubbies. I understand having a hard time, but to write those words makes me feel sad. If a women has an unloving husband she need to leave him and find someone who will treat her like a queen. For those with sick bubs they need a hug and a medal.

ludaloudbang,

Do you have twins?

ballbaby, to be positive was abit like giving up smoking (for me anyway) Some days all i wanted to do was to light up. But the harder you try the better it is. The wonderful things that happened just by my change in attitude blew me away. I don't yell at my husband anymore. If something bothers me I calmly tell him i need to talk and that i need him to listen. Before he would just roll his eyes and never listen to me, now he is attentive and really hears what i say. My kids don't yell, because i don't yell at them. My home, marriage, family and even my friends seem to treat me in a much more respectful way. I feel in control and have an inner calm which is great since i was always a highly strung, ciggy smoking whinny women.

Y1 the only thing that gives me peace in my life are my nearly 5 year old twins and caring for them. Being a stay-at-home-mum might be completely unfashionable and somewhat libel for having dispairing looks head my way but it is the most enjoyable thing I have ever done.

No job made me so fulfilled.

Will have a go today then! Things have got to a good start - both ds's have slept through - getting up at 5am is what I normally whinge about for a start!

Y1 do you mean that only those of us lucky enough to have twins can really appreciate how wonderful motherhood is? Or do you mean that unless you have twins you can't possibly understand how great you are to be able to cope so brilliantly with them? Not sure why the twins thing shoudl make much of a difference really...

Y1, yes you are right. I don't know what it is like to have twins. I do, however, know what it is like to have two babies who are both very demanding in different ways.

I love being a mum. i am very happy with my lot, and feel blessed to have my family. That won't stop me coming on MN to have right old moan when things get me down though. I'm only human.

Pollux, I am personally full of admiration for anyone who copes with having children of different ages which I think must be extremely difficult. Having twins is really hard in pregnancy and for the first year or 2 but now that mine are nearly 3 I can honestly say that I am delighted to have them as twins and eternally grateful that I don't have a toddler and a baby or - even worse - 2 toddlers at different stages!

No I don't have twins Y1...Earlysbird made my point for me earlier...I can't see what difference it makes either.

Pollux what i meant was even two babies close in age are completely diferent to twins. For a start women who have never had twins have never had to carry the twins thru pregnancy. They have never had to breast feed two babies at a time (for me it was 18 months). There is a hugh dif it doesn't mean as mothers demands aren't put on us. It is just very different with twins. Please if someone is reading this with triplets don't crucify me.

i have 2 babies, ds1 16m and ds2 2m. i dont envy anyone with twins with regards to how demanding it must be and likewise i know people with twins who dont envy me either!
im sure there are some things that are harder for me than for someone with twins and vice versa.

The reason people probably have a whinge on here is because then you can get on with life knowing you have had your rant, recieved some sympathy/advice.

Twins are hard work but so is any baby no matter if they come in multiples or not. I've loved having twins and next year we are hoping to be blessed again, I would love another set of twins, even triplets as I've always wanted a big family.

But to have one baby, just the one, I feel that with twins I missed out on certainly things you can do when you have one baby to cuddle. It would be easier though, now I know what I am doing!

I think my point came across a bit wrong there...sometimes I can't express myself very well I admire anyone who has twins or more. It must be very hard and demanding. I'd hate to think what being pregnant with them must be like. Having one was hard enough!! I really didn't mean to come accross like i have it harder than anyone else, because I know I don't.

I was just really wondering how Y1's comment about 'not understanding if I don't have twins' was to do with her original post

I don't get it either pollux, doesn't fit with the OP at all

I dont usually get involved in this but.... I think its a little insensitive to say people who haven't experienced twins wouldn't understand. That would be like me saying you can't understand when you only have one routine to juggle.....no offence meant there but you can't compare these situations because they are all different. Its what I have to regularly explain to my dd when she asks me "is mine better"?

Frumpy : "I'm coping better because I have twins, a dd and an absent dp"

Kelly: "No I'm coping better because I have twins, two older children, one with sn, and an absent dp"

Mars: "No, girls, you'll find its me, I have twins, 3 older children (ffs, get a telly), and I'm a doula and I'm studying Sharkespeare (typo meant)

Triplets: "No, its ME ME ME"

Frumpy, Kelly and Mars [kerthunk emoticon]

Same recipe, different cake, all tastes good to me .

Oooh TwoIf, are congrats due yet or are you enjoying the practice?

Y1 - i love oyur post, i have 2 dd's 5 yrs apart , a job i love and hat in equal measure, loads of friends i also love an dhate in equal measure, a dh who can be great and crap in equal measures and a puppy that won't house train , add in in-laws from hell , an overly interested mother, a complicated school run, psychotic chickens and some strange neighbours . it all adds up to a lot to whinge about or a alot to be thankful and grateful for....i choose the latter because rather like you ( i suspect) i am an optomist and see the good in most things and have decided that life is whatyou make of it, being cross/miserable/whingy take up to much emotional energy ...be happy !

Quite FG, couldn't have put it better myself

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now FG... you forgot to mention the French course, the new literature course, the Doula study days, the endless school meetings, the endless paperwork, the housework (on the days the cleaner doesn't come lol), socialising with family and friends and the salsa! So that's Monday morning covered!

Y1 (did you turn into 2bub or is 2bub someone else? I'm so confused).... honey let's face it... until you (general you not personal you) walk a mile in my (general my not personal my) shoes.... etc etc............

Face it, even if you moan inside and no one else hears it... you moan! Personally, better out than in!

Love mine, love my lot in life, working to change the things that I want to change but loving life all the same.

I don't think it's about loads of "same voices" popping up. If holding it in works for you then baby go for it. But.... whilst it's not the "same as having twins" let's be frank.... how do you know? You haven't done the toddler/baby thing. You have been incredibly blessed to have twins and you are entitled to be happy about that but so are the other posters with their singletons, triplets and (dare I say it) quads! Sometimes lifes a bitch and we have one! Then we move on and go back to happy happy happy!

Me, I've done the baby and toddler thing. I've done the school age gap thing and am currently doing the twin thing and the toddler X2 and teen strop thing.

Bring out my medal and crown me in sunlight! Life's fab! (FG.... see you on the dark side)

FG you forgot me!! What about HM: " I am coping better as I have twins, am heavily pregnant, have an absent DH and have a really annoying cat who gets under my feet all day AND I cant even have a gin! AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"

Oh Mars, you've always gotta flush me down the pan haven't you!!! Just cos there are only sheep where I live in nothingsville and salsa comes in a jar that gets plane-dropped once a year. I can't keep up with you